Doctors appointment

[Dee1985]

hi mate, so whats going on? what is wrong with your age? you looking forward to have two babies so close? my daughter will b 13months when next baby is due

 

Hi hun.
Sounds like your GP had his mind set! At least he gave you your risks and that way you can make your own decision well informed. With regards to your age - that has sod all to do with anything really doesn't it?! Your 18/19 aren't you if guessing by your name your born the same year as me. If you're happy - that's what matters.
We're always here to support you along the way. Have you got a proper EDD yet or are you waiting for the dating scan?

xx

 

Only you know what you want mate and if you can cope with 2 so close together. I know a brother and sister who are in the same year at school even though they are 10 months apart! Their mum didn't wait long either Not sure if she had a section though - they were born 17/18 odd years ago.

As I said - we are all to support you xx

 

[Dee1985]

no age should have nothing to do with it but i have watched loads of shows on disc health its a wkd channel and iv seen a few woman that have had c-section then wanted to give birth nateral she was at high risk but no probs, im well excited to have Dior and another baby real close but will be hard she will be a lil hand full at 12months.. got my scan thurs you got us girls to support u... every thing happens for a reason and your preg cuz u should b
are you having a boy or girl sami?

 

I'm having a boy I think Dionne.

Kayl - do you mean you'd be scared of a termination? I know exactly how you feel. When I became pregnant this time we wern't really trying, it wasn't the best timing moneywise, and I was shi**ing my pants I'd have another m/c or that if I terminated it might screw my insides up completely and then I'd still carry on m/c'ing afterwards. I don't think I could cope with another m/c.

I personally couldn't have a termination either, partly because of the past m/c's, but also I think I'm pregnant with a child I know I will love no matter what so why shouldn't the pregnancy continue?

It may be tough in the future with two so close together, and you do have a few more risks of your scar not being fully healed, but who says you can't do it? Many people in the past have done it before, and if it feels right, go for it. You have my full support xx

 

[Skidoo]

How would you feel about having a hystectomy at 19? You are aware that it's not just a case of whipping it out and you getting on with your life aren't you? It can be emotionally wrenching for a woman of 60 to have her uterus cut out, let alone a 19 yo, and you may go through the menopause as a result. Spend a little time looking into it - you've got internet access, so see what you can find out. Here's one to start with http://www.hysterectomy-association.org.uk/learn/hysterec/what.php

How does your partner feel about the possibility of losing you and/or the new baby? Could he bring up Summer on his own? I know it's awful to think of, but that seems to be a possibility your doctor is indicating.

Will your OH stand by you if it all goes horribly wrong? He wasn't really there for you for your first pregnancy - how's he going to cope if you need constant bed rest and he has to look after you and care for Summer?

I'm sorry to dash cold water over you, but I'm worried for you. You really need to think very carefully about what you are doing here. From what you've said the doctor thinks there are serious risks.

Of course it's up to you, but if someone said to me that I could wait a year and have a baby with no risks to me or the child or I could have one sooner and risk my life and its I know what I'd do. You are young and have a whole lot of life ahead of you; you don't really want to put that at risk do you?

I wish you luck whatever your decision, but I really think you need to sit down with your partner and/or your parents and consider the consequences of your actions.

 

have you had a chat with your mum or someone else close to you who could give you another opinion? x

 

before you make any quick decisions I'd have a chat with her hun, coz if OH does do a runner and isn't supportive, then you'll be needing her. x

 

[Hypnorm]

i would speak to your mum, yes she will be angry and upset, but you have to deal with what has happened and the fact that the boyf may not hang around again...
Sorry to sound harsh but i do agree with skidoo
You say that summer is your main priority - what happens if you end up in hospital on bed rest - what happens to summer, will bf look after her, you need to be well for her,
i know i could never have a termination
When i came out of hosp the midwives doctors really made a point of say that i could be quite fertile post delivery even with no period i could ovulate..
We are all here for you and i really hope things work out

 

[Skidoo]

Kayl I was worried that you - and everyone else here - was going to think I was being really mean. But you know you have to think about this very carefully!

Sorry to hear you had a fight with Asher, but it doesn't bode well for the future if he can't discuss this with you rationally and not just go off in a huff because things aren't going his way.

You might not like the idea, but GPs can usually offer some sort of counselling service and it might be worth looking into that. Talking to someone outside of your family situation can be useful as you can say exactly what you think/want/need without worrying about how they might take it.

If you do decide on a termination it is better to do it as early as possible. There are less risks and less possibility of complications. Here's another link for information http://www.fpa.org.uk/guide/abortion/index.htm#1

Give Summer a big cuddle and I wish you the best of luck with everything.

 

[melanieyeah]

damn, I really wouldnt pin your hopes with this guy sweetie. I wouldnt trust him, were just concerned with how you will cope without your guy there and summer growing up and you having morning sickness, feeling ill and then having a baby so soon with the complications you might have during and afterwards. I don't normally agree with terminations, but if it means you are risking your own life I would do it. Think about Summer, if anything happened to you and her dad is nowhere to be seen, what would happen to her? Think long and hard babes xxxtalk to us, you know where we are.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[minikins]

From the responses here it looks like we are all thinking of you and wishing you the best, there is some good advice on this thread so I won't repeat any, except to say you will make the right choice for you and that of the babies future.

Good luck babe

 

[Hypnorm]

the guy is an arse
running again
i'm so sorry, i really thought it might work out for you.
you can't have it all when you have a baby and he needs to grow up and understand this.
You really need to think of your self and Summer now.
you need to ask your self some really tough questions and be honest to your self.

we are all here to help and give the best advice we can, the truth may hurt some times.

 

[LouisecH]

Oh Kayleigh I'm so sorry for what you're going through. Please never feel embarassed to show your face on here. Admitting mistakes is always hard however big or small.

I don't have much to add - as Minikins said, everyone has given such good advice already. You really need to chat to someone and I know it's going to be very very difficult for you but don't stick your head in the sand with this.

We're always here for you whatever you decide x

 

[melanieyeah]

awww darlin im sorry, he can't have his cake and eat it so leave him to go do what he wants, its disgusting how hes willing to let you face this alone! hes not a man at all. Babe only you can decide, talk to your mom, she will understand-like we do. everyone makes mistakes hun xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[Sarah W Baby Belly]

I don't normally agree with terminations, but you really have to think of yourself and summer. You and her and your mum are the most important people in your life and you have to take care of yourself and the people who love/need you hun.

You are very very early on in your pregnancy and a termination at this stage is the best way you can protect yourself and summer in the future.

If I was in your position (even with my opinions on termination) I would definitely consider it and carry on as before. You were doing so well before Ash came back on the scene. He is incredibly immature and you are well shot of him by the sounds of it.

Please think hard about all your opinions. Your doctor was right, you are putting yourself at risk.

 

[Layla]

Im sorry but i have to agree with skidoo and sarah on this one.

i really feel for you Kay hun, you must feel so let down by him again.

Summer needs you now hunny, by having another baby so soon you are putting yourself at risk, is it worth that?

dont mean to sound harsh, but i cant seem to put this any othe way, sorry babes

at the end of the day, it is your decsion, you and only you can make up your mind, no one here can do it for you.
just please think about this carefuly hun. and im sure what ever you decide we will all be there suporting you

xxx

 

[Hypnorm]

i think i have to agree on the above - even though i don't agree with abortion but there are certain times when it might be necessary

 

[Sarah W Baby Belly]

I'm sorry, but I do still think you have a choice.

You said yourself that you hadn't attached yourself emotionally to your unborn child yet, and an abortion at your stage would likely be something as simple as just taking a pill and it would soon be over.

No-one is saying that you have to do it, just that you should keep thinking about it a bit longer.

Also, no-one who is trying to conceive at the moment is going to slate you for having an abortion. They will be mostly concerned for your health babe, as we all are.

Talk to your mum, she can help you.

 

Kayl, we're all here to support you in your decisions whatever you decide. No one is going to be mad at you whatever you decide as at the end of the day, it is YOUR life and SUMMER'S LIFE that is the main focus now.

Sending you lots of love and hugs - your head must be in a mess right now xxx