Do it all women!!!

Discussion in 'Third Trimester' started by futuremum, Nov 20, 2005.

  1. futuremum

    futuremum Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Apr 25, 2005
    Messages:
    733
    Likes Received:
    0
    I have realised how bad I have opted for the "do it all woman"!!!
    I have just finished my full time work to start my maternity leave and my partner is stressing me big time with the cleaning of the house!!!
    He is going on on how easy my life is as a proper woman would be on her knees scrubbing every parts of the house, from behind the radiator to the top of doors....
    I feel very cross because he does not work, is not 36 weeks pregnant and has not a bad back of carrying this baby for so long, and all he does is sit in front of his pc all day, complaining because he only had 7 hours of sleep in the night . I wanted to unwind a bit for my week end although I did some cleaning but not deep cleaning and i have reproaches!!!!!
    This was my plan to do every single room properly but taking my time because I do things pretty slowly now lol

    I have realised how bad it is going to be, having to go back to work after 17 weeks, full time so i can feed my family but having to do all the cleaning, shopping, cooking, looking after the baby while he does nothing. He said he will look after this baby full time but I do not beleive it at all. I am sure a single life is easier because at least you do not have to bother with the other half pissing you off because you have forgotten to buy some shaving foam or you have not washed this particular pair of jeans.....

    He has good days though where he will help me like cleaning the windows. today he has started a deeper cleaning of the kitchen but when he saw I was going out shopping, he did not bother carrying it on, he realised it is always a matter of long hours if you want to clean every little bits of the kitchen.......

    Sorry for moaning but sometimes I am thinking this is so unfair, that I might deserve a bit better than that kind of attitude towards me.
     
  2. Sarah W Baby Belly

    Sarah W Baby Belly Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 14, 2005
    Messages:
    1,924
    Likes Received:
    0
    I think he is being extremely unfair to you!! :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: I had better not say too much on this, as I may not be able to stop!
     
  3. Urchin

    Urchin Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Apr 7, 2005
    Messages:
    16,848
    Likes Received:
    0
    Wrong Wrong Wrong!

    You cannot let him carry on like this. When you're back at work who will be getting up in the night? and bathing the baby in the evenings? and making up feeds? I bet it won't be him!

    I would sit him down and talk about his responsibilities in the house... I can't believe you earn the money AND do all the housework etc.
     
  4. Tara & Liam

    Tara & Liam Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Apr 27, 2005
    Messages:
    4,298
    Likes Received:
    0
    Hi Future

    I was on my own with Kieran for the first 5 years and i loved it. it was just me and him against the world. All i had to worry about was his and my welfare. i couldnt have worried about anyone else, especially a grown man.

    it couldnt have been any different with my hubby now. he is brilliant. when i had Joshua (by c section) i was suffering from high bp and he used to come home from work and do the cooking and other jobs that i hadnt managed.

    you really do need someone that is going to help you, looking after yourself and the baby is hard work, especially if you breast feed and get up every couple of hours. if your OH is not giving you adequate support then dump him.

    sorry i am very hormonal and get passionate about this subject. Dont mean offence.

    x
     
  5. futuremum

    futuremum Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Apr 25, 2005
    Messages:
    733
    Likes Received:
    0
    Don't be scared of my feelings Davina!!!! I know he can be a right prick this one!!! Again this morning, we had a huge argument, ended up being late for my ante-natal appointment, rushed in there in tears, blood pressure went to 147/92 so i have to go back on thursday just to make sure it is due to the argument of this morning!!!

    We have had our issues for a long time and thought i would give him a go as being a dad and still think that. But if he is making my life a misery after the birth, i will have to let him go, although, he would never go, not now he knows he is going to be a dad. He wants it all but does nothing to help.

    I am being too good or weak with him, I do not know which one really but it starts to annoy me a lot now. If it is to end up in flood of tears every day and having my BP high, I can do without the stress of it all!!!

    Thanks for your support anyway, it is very appreciated :)
     
  6. Guest

    I dont want to say too much else I might go on aswell but I'd wring his bloody neck!! :evil:
     
  7. Tara & Liam

    Tara & Liam Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Apr 27, 2005
    Messages:
    4,298
    Likes Received:
    0
    It's strange but until i came onto this forum, i felt like i was the only one to have had a shitty relationship (my first child).

    It really is hard to take the initiative and go it alone. I split with Kieran's dad when i was 4 months pregnant and havent seen him since. but i was much happier without him. i was lonely at times, but i was better off.

    I have a great relationship now and i love my hubby to pieces. So there is light at the end of the tunnel. plus no love is better then a love better mother and child.

    keep in touch hun

    x
     
  8. *saulino*

    *saulino* Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 10, 2005
    Messages:
    10,473
    Likes Received:
    0
    hello

    I hope things do get better and you should really have a talk with him, i would never put up with that you might put you rself in early labour if your always stressed out. If you doesnt start helping you should tell him he has to leave which maybe will make him realize how serious you are, and he may even change.
    My bf works his buns off and i take care of the house your suppost to both put effort into the house.
    Well no ones telling you what to do but he does need to be told.
    I hope it gets better so you can just relax.
    Take care
    Katrina
     
  9. *saulino*

    *saulino* Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 10, 2005
    Messages:
    10,473
    Likes Received:
    0
    hello

    I hope things do get better and you should really have a talk with him, i would never put up with that you might put you rself in early labour if your always stressed out. If you doesnt start helping you should tell him he has to leave which maybe will make him realize how serious you are, and he may even change.
    My bf works his buns off and i take care of the house your suppost to both put effort into the house.
    Well no ones telling you what to do but he does need to be told.
    I hope it gets better so you can just relax.
    Take care
    Katrina
     
  10. Sarah W Baby Belly

    Sarah W Baby Belly Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 14, 2005
    Messages:
    1,924
    Likes Received:
    0
    My mum finally left somebody like this (my father) after 30 years. Controlling men rarely change. I realise that having a baby on the way makes it so much harder to leave, and I really don't know what I would do in your situation, but don't let this man ruin too many years of your life babe. My mum started again at 51 and she is a new woman, but I wish she had done it earlier. :cry: :cry: :cry: Better late than never I guess.
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice