Am I being silly??

[Lanesje77]

Ok, so I'm not too sure where to post this, but I'm sure you guys are the perfect 'Dear Miriam'! My partner is 8 years younger than me(I'm 34, he's 26) and gosh I do love him, but as most of them do from time to time, he gets right on my nerves!! He's always wanted to be a dad, and after 2 years of trying we had thought it may never happen, but when it did we were ecstatic, but I think the novelty has worn off for him already. He's the kind of guy who needs entertaining, he's in to remote controlled aircraft, buggies, and last night he went around to his friends for a boys night, it was supposed to be 3 of them, I don't mind him going, I like my own company, but he came in just before 1, and then he says one of his mates didn't go, do it was the 2 of them, plus his mates new 18 year old girlfriend(who he doesn't even like, she is a bit of an idiot), which I think is just weird!! Then to top it all off, yesterday, he took my son out on his quad bike and as usual, it broke down, so I had to ask my dad to put the trailer on my car and off we went to rescue them, embarrassing but not my issue. It was more when my dad got in my car and said it needed cleaning on the inside, I just said I didn't have time at the min, and he said that he didn't think I should be the one cleaning it. I said this to my partner this morning and he flipped out, cursing my dad, that it's nothing to do with him, but as I said he's my dad and looking out for me and I think he has a valid point. Ladies what do I do, he doesn't do house work, leaves things all over and quite honestly suits himself, I'm just a bit tired of it, we have had countless arguments about it, but it always falls on def ears:'-(


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[Mummy2be_01]

Hi, sounds like your in a bit of a situation here lol. I think your ad is right when he says it shouldn't be you that's doing it. Your partner really should be helping you out. I'm not. Sure how far along you are? But I think that maybe just sit him down and tell him how much you need his help and that maybe he could do the Hoovering if you do the dishes, kinda thing? As for his friends house with the young girlfriend, I do find that strange lol. If my husband were to do that I don't really think I would be happy. X

 

[Lanesje77]

Thanks for replying xx I'm 28 weeks, just dropped back in to the tired out stage!! I'm a mobile hairdresser, I work 4 days a week, look after my 6 year old, I'm the house keeper, I do the shopping and cooking, he will do the washing up though! I think I want him to magically realise on his own that I need his help, and not to argue with me. I could talk to him, but it seems a little pointless?!!


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[mrswarner87]

tell him to grow up or go live back with his mother! i cant stand men who act like kids, ive luckily trained my hubz fairly well lol.. xx

 

[cosmicgirl]

Agree, he needs to grow up x

 

[Mummy2be_01]

You do too much! He should be doing his own share, I'm 23 and my husband is 24, he's a soldier and is away a lot in training for Afghanistan at the beginning of next year but he does so much for me just now! I hardly have to do anything, and when i have a really tired day or dont feel so great he makes sure i dont luft a finger! Your partner should be thinking about u and the baby and not himself! You need to tell him he needs to do more, you can't carry on like this, imagine what it's going to be like when baby actually arrives! x

 

[Lanesje77]

Thanks guys, and I know everything your saying is absolutely right, it's just how to put it to him?! We are both very stubborn and I know I can be moody at times, but that is generally because I bottle everything up as I know trying to tell him what I'm feeling ends with him reversing it all!! His main problems are as you pointed out, he needs to grow up and stop being do selfish xx


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[leesey]

Me and dh do argue a lot about little things like this, but I have to give him his dues, he does A LOT around the house now. He only ever used to do the dished before I was pg, but now he does everything. Not that he doesn't remind me all the time, but he really doesn't complain about it, he's realised I just plain can't do it. There have been a few times I've felt guilty and tried to do things around the house and he's got really cross with me for doing too much.
My point is, even my hubby who never used to do much now realises that he has a pregnant wife who can do very little in the way of house work, and he's stepped up.
Your OH needs to step up too, and it's got to be soon before you strain yourself or the baby xx

 

[Lanesje77]

Well we had a good old chat and I basically told him he needs to grow up, I'm not his mum and will not be treated as such, so from this point on I'm hoping for a changed man!! X


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[Mummy2be_01]

Fx for you! I really hope your chat makes a difference xx