Discrimination at Work

[Dizzyden]

Hi Ladies,
Hope you don't mind me sounding off but i'm after a little support. I am currently 21 weeks pregnant and thank my lucky stars everyday. I finally got pregnant after 3 years of trying, 1 miscarriage and 2 cycles of IVF.

I'm actually loving being pregnant and can handle everything the world of pregnancy throws at me.

However, I was never prepared for the crappy attitude from my boss. It all started back in October when my second cycle of IVF started and to be truthful i was under a lot of pressure and the surge of hormones defiantly had an effect on me which my female boss (aged 54, with no children and never been married) felt compiled to tell me everytime i opened my mouth.

Now I am 21 weeks pregnant i feel that my hormones and mood swings have settled she still mentions it daily

Normally she makes comments about keeping my hormones in check and tells me to calm down. What I find hard to handle is that these things are said while in important meetings in front of colleagues that don't really know me at all.

My question is: Am i being over sensitive? I've ask close work colleague if i am highly strung or being difficult and they feel i haven't changed at all.

My worry is that if i approach my boss or the HR manager i feel and my close colleagues feel that she will make my life hell. I wouldn't mind if i didn't plan to go back after my maternity leave.

Any ideas or suggestions?

Thanks

Denise

 

[tinselcat]

How horrible for you to have this woman making such snipey comments - and how unprofessional of her.

I don't know if this would work given what you've said but perhaps you could ask her calmly for specific examples of times in recent weeks where she thinks your behaviour has been inappropriate in a work context? Usually these generalists fall over when asked to be explicit. Perhaps it might be worth saying to her also that if she truly believes that hormones are affecting your performance in meetings, that you appreciate if she'd deal with it professionally and raise it with you privately, not in front of work colleagues?

I hope she doesn't get away with this!

Xx

 

[beckyboo1]

I would suggest sue is bang out of order and discriminating against you. I would report your comcerns to your HR dept as this should not be allowed at any time. Imagine if you had a male boss and he said those things to you, no one would stand for it and certainly not in front of other people

I wouldn't say you were being over sensitive at all. Xx

 

[Jayjay027]

I would stop this before it goes any further.

I had a male boss who always made snide remarks about how I must be stupid because of being blonde - this stopped once I approached him about it!

I would go to her privately and ask her how exactly she feels you've changed, as no one else seems to have noticed. I'd also tell her that you do not appreciate this being brought up at meetings and if she has a problem with your attitude, this is something she needs to deal with privately instead of calling you out in front of colleagues.

She sounds like a bitter bitch! I wouldn't allow that to continue xx

Sent from my BlackBerry 9800 using Tapatalk

 

[Karate Kid]

That's such a horrible situation to be in hun, I'm so glad you got your sticky bean and the fact is she should be more understanding.

She sounds a bit jealous.... It definitely needs to be dealt with. Can you seek advice from your HR department, without lodging a formal complaint? Or is there another manager you can talk to?

Hope you get this situation resolved soon because you don't need any extra stress xx

 

[FirstBabyEek]

I agree with the others. I've had some outrageous comments from my boss since being pregnant and I've raised them all in a letter that I'll submit with my MATB1 form next week.

I too think there is a little bit of jealousy. She's clearly never had a problem with your work or the way you work before you fell pregnant and therefore to start making comments now definately consitutes discrimination. She's the one on tricky ground, not you.

If you are able to speak to her alone then do, but make sure you follow it up in writing to your HR dept when you send in your MATB1 form, that way if there is any funny business again, or when you leave or when you try to return that there is a clear record of what has gone on.

Either that or a few of us here will come and have a word with her

Good luck, I really hope it resolves itself soon xx

 

[becciboo26]

WSS /\

Dont leave this lie hun - its not fair xx

 

[calphurnia7]

This is unacceptable. I would advise an informal chat or raising a grievance if your manager does not stop the discriminatory comments about your pregnancy. If you still feel upset I would contact Maternity Action for further advice as they can advise on these type of issues. google maternity action

 

[GoldenDragon]

I wouldn't stand for this. Ask for a private meeting with her and discuss it with her, tell her to leave you alone x

 

[netty]

hey i am not pregnant but i WAS and my boss was the same a ''career woman'' and she used to say insesitive things to me after MC and durin gpregnancy like ''you have baby brain, you need to calm down''

then when i mc and i had gained weight and popped a button of my trousers she said to me '' well you cant blame the baby anymore for the weight can you ''

so i lodged a grievance with my HR department and said she was being a total twat ( in better words ) she had to spologise to me and is not my boss anymore thanks god

 

[Little_angel]

That's outrageous!

I agree with the others. I would request a meeting alone with your boss to discuss it. Personally, I would start by discussing the time when you were having your IVF. Having just gone through an IVF cycle, I know I found it very difficult emotionally. I would say that you agree that you were having a difficult time during this period, but you would really like to draw a line under that now. As others have said, it is inappropriate for her to talk about this disparagingly in front of others, and if she has any performance issues she should be bringing them up with you in private.

Good luck - if you don't get a positive response, you may need to discuss this with HR.