laetitia85
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I suppose it depends on what the child has done but what do you think is genereally the best option?
discipline - spanking etc.
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laetitia85
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lol even I am finding it hard to vote because i don't know yet! will have to think about it... 
I bet this sets off a good debate!! 
I didn't vote, because with the exception of 'hard beating' I've tried them all at some point or another. Sometimes with results, sometimes without! It depends upon the circumstances, the offense commited, and the individual child!
We have a naughty room (time out) and a behaviour chart (rewards for good behaviour) which seem quite effective.
I didn't vote, because with the exception of 'hard beating' I've tried them all at some point or another. Sometimes with results, sometimes without! It depends upon the circumstances, the offense commited, and the individual child!
We have a naughty room (time out) and a behaviour chart (rewards for good behaviour) which seem quite effective.
laetitia85
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Sammystar said:I bet this sets off a good debate!!
I didn't vote, because with the exception of 'hard beating' I've tried them all at some point or another. Sometimes with results, sometimes without! It depends upon the circumstances, the offense commited, and the individual child!
We have a naughty room (time out) and a behaviour chart (rewards for good behaviour) which seem quite effective.
I like the time out idea because that gives the child the time to think about what he's done and it doesn't require violence.
krystal&jack
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I haven't voted cos I'm not sure...
Jack only a baby so couldn't ever imagine smacking him. I hopefully won't ever need to.
I was never smacked as a child, i knew I'd pushed my mam to far just by tone of her voice and would soon stop playing up so hopefully can just use mummy voice with Jack
Jack only a baby so couldn't ever imagine smacking him. I hopefully won't ever need to.
I was never smacked as a child, i knew I'd pushed my mam to far just by tone of her voice and would soon stop playing up so hopefully can just use mummy voice with Jack
laetitia85
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krystalmair said:
I was smacked a a child
lol and so were my brothers and sisters but to this day i'm still not sure it contributed to our good behaviour, i think it was more to do with family morals and values!Josephine_Beth
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When ever we were naughty (as a todddler) and old enough to know right from wrong, my mum would slap our bums and shout, not hard enough to leave a mark but the sting was still there for a good few mins after 
My grandma would get a wet t-towel and wack us round the back of the legs as we got older too, not that I would ever do this but it scared the living **** outta us lol
I don't think there is anything wrong with 'tickling' your child but at an older age, maybe when the child reaches 5 but not beating them. I mean a little slap round the bum or back of legs, just to show the child what's right from wrong. All this stuff now is silly, you shout at a child and social services are at your door. No wonder there is a problem with the younger generation these days!
My grandma would get a wet t-towel and wack us round the back of the legs as we got older too, not that I would ever do this but it scared the living **** outta us lol
I don't think there is anything wrong with 'tickling' your child but at an older age, maybe when the child reaches 5 but not beating them. I mean a little slap round the bum or back of legs, just to show the child what's right from wrong. All this stuff now is silly, you shout at a child and social services are at your door. No wonder there is a problem with the younger generation these days!
laetitia85
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My DH also believes in spanking, I'm still trying to make up my mind on it! I suppose it's got its benefits but I think it will have to be used as a last resource. And I won't be the one doing it!! I'm too soft! I will leave it to my husband! But I wouldn't want it to get to a stage where we'd have to spank. I hope our little one will understand our message from the beginning, but kids will be kids !
i found sitting my children on a bean bag and not letting them move till they've calmed down the best way to control them.
depends on the situation and where you are as to how you can deal with things.
Most of the time just a glare or a growl stops my kids in their tracks. Im very strict.
depends on the situation and where you are as to how you can deal with things.
Most of the time just a glare or a growl stops my kids in their tracks. Im very strict.
I strongly believe that spanking or any other kind of physical or psychological abuse against a child is absolutely wrong. My sister used to be very naughty (as children are supposed/expected to be) and my father used to spank/beat her. Today he is remarried and has a 5 year old son and does exactly the same thing to him which I think is unacceptable. It's unacceptable because I can now see (as an adult and not as a child) that he resorts to beating because he is not patient enough to deal with the child and because he "lets it out" this way. So to me, it's more like a way for the parent to let it out - same way we shout to OHs when in an argument; you don't shout because you expect to get heard that way, you are just losing your temper/patience - than as a form of discipline.
I think beating/smacking whatever you prefer calling it, is not a way to discipline a child, not a way to show what's right or wrong, just a way to cause fear to the child and "let it out" the easy way. Parents beat their children simply because they can, they are physically stronger than them.
I'm not a parent yet, so to some this may sound like "big words", but I have seen parents smacking their children (my half-brother and other kids) with very negative results (causing sadness, loneliness, rage, anger to the child) and I've seen children (now adults - my husband one of them) still feeling traumatised from their parents' behaviour (beating) - and I guess husband's father felt he was doing the right thing "disciplining" his children that way. And I really think that it's not up to the person that does the beating to say how much is too much and how hard is too hard - it is as much and as hard as the child itself feels it is. On the other hand, I have also seen parents that talk things through with their children with very good results. So, to me it's pretty obvious what I should do with my children. I think that if you are patient with children, if you yourself know what is right or wrong (because some things kids do are not "convenient" for a parent but are not necessarily "wrong"), then you can achieve good communication levels with your children. If not, it's you who is wrong, not your child.
I think beating/smacking whatever you prefer calling it, is not a way to discipline a child, not a way to show what's right or wrong, just a way to cause fear to the child and "let it out" the easy way. Parents beat their children simply because they can, they are physically stronger than them.
I'm not a parent yet, so to some this may sound like "big words", but I have seen parents smacking their children (my half-brother and other kids) with very negative results (causing sadness, loneliness, rage, anger to the child) and I've seen children (now adults - my husband one of them) still feeling traumatised from their parents' behaviour (beating) - and I guess husband's father felt he was doing the right thing "disciplining" his children that way. And I really think that it's not up to the person that does the beating to say how much is too much and how hard is too hard - it is as much and as hard as the child itself feels it is. On the other hand, I have also seen parents that talk things through with their children with very good results. So, to me it's pretty obvious what I should do with my children. I think that if you are patient with children, if you yourself know what is right or wrong (because some things kids do are not "convenient" for a parent but are not necessarily "wrong"), then you can achieve good communication levels with your children. If not, it's you who is wrong, not your child.
trixipaws
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hmm probably the confiscating toys, no tv and the sitting in corner ones. (not all of them for one naughty thing tho lol) also maybe no sweets but i wouldnt say no food at all that would be starving her which would be neglect!
I think i'll do the naughty step thing
I think spanking them will make them learn to hit ppl too?
haha
but when they are older groundage and take away tvs extra will be more suitable as u cant have a 13 yr old sitting in the naughty area lmfao
I think spanking them will make them learn to hit ppl too?
haha
but when they are older groundage and take away tvs extra will be more suitable as u cant have a 13 yr old sitting in the naughty area lmfao
trixipaws said:
I thought the 'no food until further notice' specifically refers to when kids play up over food.
Mine do this, and I have a very clear policy. They are given a meal, if they don't want it, they can leave it, but they don't get any other food at all until the next mealtime. ie. no pudding, snacks or other nibbles.
It works quite well when you're struggling to get them to eat those five portions a day!
laetitia85
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interesting thoughtslaetitia85
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budge said:the word spanking really bothers me. seems a bit kinky.
ok - think 'smacking'.
yeah i was.
what i always say is that to achieve a well balanced behaved child you have to use some sort of discipline to control them. But you also have to give equal amounts of love and attention to them. Too much or too little of either will result in a vile out of control child.
I have always been very strict with my kids as soon as they began ''pushing' their boiunderies. Kids love being controlled and told what to do. Thry feel safe like that.
If you discipline your child and set firm bounderies in the early years (2- 5) then by the age of 5 onwards you will have no problem with them becasue you have set your standards of them and they know whats expected of them .
what i always say is that to achieve a well balanced behaved child you have to use some sort of discipline to control them. But you also have to give equal amounts of love and attention to them. Too much or too little of either will result in a vile out of control child.
I have always been very strict with my kids as soon as they began ''pushing' their boiunderies. Kids love being controlled and told what to do. Thry feel safe like that.
If you discipline your child and set firm bounderies in the early years (2- 5) then by the age of 5 onwards you will have no problem with them becasue you have set your standards of them and they know whats expected of them .
