Depressed after Emergency C-Section...

[missye]

Hi Ladies


My little girl was born 3 months ago via emergency C-Section. It was the WORST experience I have ever gone through. The hospital, the staff, the way I was treated. To this day, I feel so upset and angry about it. I have tried to move on and forget about what happened, but have really struggled.

Here my story...

Arrived in hospital, everything going fine. Midwife comes and goes every 10/20 mins or so. Next thing doc comes in, tries to take blood from babies head, but no avail. Tells me he needs to operate. This shocks me alot as I never saw it coming. I ask the doc if there was any chance he could wait and see if baby's HR goes down, to which he snaps '"She is refusing to operate, what the hell do I do?!" I wasn't refusing, simply asking a question.


Next thing, being rushed down to theatre. Overhear someone say "Right she's being put to sleep now", as they try to put a needle in. Doc reassured me it would be done under a local. Being put to sleep is a great fear of mine. Nobody comforted me, just snapped at me "Do you want your baby to survive?!".

I wake up after op. Baby is now in care unit. I arrive back on the ward, where another doc comes over and wants to take some blood, apparantly wants to check my liver!! I ask the midwifes if I could see my baby. I was desperate to see her. "Maybe later". I ask again another 2 hours. "We'll take a picture for you". Another 4 hours later no picture. My mum got to see her before I did. This bitchy midwife finally decided it would be ok to wheel me up to see her. (Although she made out it was a total inconvience for her).

I finally got to see her for 2 minutes, but couldn't hold her. I felt at a loss...

After some rest...midwifes came every 2 hours, poked me with more needles, like some guinea pig. They wouldn't explain why they were taking blood, just did it anyway. Wouldn't give me any answers. I had nobody come down to explain to me why I needed an emergency C-Section, or why my baby was in distress. Just a bunch of rushed off their feet midwifes who choked me up with pills and poked needles in me.

What nobody could understand was, all I wanted... all I needed was to told my precious daughter in my arms, and be alone with her. If I couldn't be alone with her, I wanted to be alone to rest.

Over the next couple of days, the agony got worse. More needles, more pills, I was going crazy. I was also starting to have side effects from them. One day, my temperature was alittle high, the midwife handed me some paracetomol - I told her politely I'd be okay. I really needed to get some fresh air. She was really pissed that I had refused them.

Everything I tried to tell them, tried so hard to try and explain the way I was feeling. And how the trauma was affecting my blood pressure was really falling on dead ears. I gave up....

On top of this, I had the added pressure from the midwifes to breastfeed. I was having some difficulty with this, and decided giving my daughter the bottle would be okay, until I got home. The midwifes totally frowned on this, and told me I couldn't leave until I had her feeding sorted.

I felt trapped, like I was in prison. I pleaded with them to let me go home and get some rest. I had no choice but discharge myself in the end. I couldn't take any more....

(I apologise his post is very long- I didn't intend it to be). I guess writing all this down, has made me realise I'm most certainly haunted by my daughter's birth. I have struggled to bond with her as a result.

And now I'm far too scared to give birth again, decided not to have any more children.

Thanks for taking time to read this.

Thoughts and advice appreciated...

 

[Sam's Mum]

I can't believe how awfully you were treated by everyone!! I'm not surprised you are feeling so down about it all I'm actually horrified at the way they were towards you! I'd be tempted to make a formal complaint to the hospital. It might be worth speaking to your doctor about post-natal counselling - I'm sure there will be someone along soon who knows more about the options and the best people to speak to x

 

[pringle88]

Bloody hell that sounds horrific, you poor thing. What hospital were you at of you dont mind me asking? That's awful the way you were treated, i know yours and the babys health are most important but they should have told you what they were doing and why every step of the way, the last thing you needed was the extra stress of not having a clue what was going on. i agree with sams mum i would also be tempted to write a formal complaint. its so sad that this whole situation has put you off having any more children, every birth is completely different so its very very unlikely you would be put through that again but i can understand why you feel like that. congratulations on the birth of your little girl by the way xxx

 

[Bri]

Hi Missye
I'm sorry to here that you went through that with the hospital that delivered you daughter. The hospital staff could've been alittle more professional then that. Maybe you could've had your mother speak for you; just a suggestion for next time you have a baby. I hope you never have to experience anything like that again when you in delivery.

 

[NinjaKitty]

I believe you have a right to get a copy of your medical notes. I know others here have got theirs so hopefully someone can advise how you go about getting them. I think it'd help you with a complaint because you could see their side of the story and relate it back to your experience.

 

[ippa]

Oh my, I'm not surprised it's haunting you hun, that's a disgusting way to be treated!
I didn't get to see my son for 6 1/2 hours after my c-section as he was early, so I understand how traumatic that part is!
But I agree with the other girls you should put in a complaint, it's not right that they think they can treat people like that!
I'm sure there is a number you can call to find out exactially what happened at the birth, maybe that would help?
Take care of yourself and your beautiful lo!
XxX

 

[ange34]

omg!! that is absolutly appauling,dont they understand that a c section is truamatic enuf without being treat like that on top! i really really feel for u hun and i cant believe they took that long to finally let u meet your baby.they go on about how important bonding is in them first vital hours.no wonder u feel like u do.i had a section years ago and remember exactly how i was feelin.u need all the support and reasurance u can get after goin thru that.its a major operation and i totally understand what u mean about not feelin like u got your bond i felt the same,i really think its discustin how theyve treated u hun and my heart goes out 2 u xxxxx

 

[Dollie]

Thats terrible, im so sorry you had to go through all that. I definatley agree that you should seek some counselling, ask your gp or health visitor. I would also most definatley put in a complaint, it might also help you feel like you are getting some 'justice' for yourself and your daughter. Big hugs and take care xx

 

[leannesxb]

Hi honey I am so sorry you had to go through that. Thought I would share my emergency c-section with you. x

At 32 weeks I had stopped feeling my sons movements so being a little concerned I phoned the maternity unit. They told me to come straight up which I did (8pm Fri night) I was scanned and told that babe had no fluid around him and was very small. No clue when my waters went can only imagine it was in the bath. They allowed me home to get my bags but wanted me back within the hour as not knowing when my waters went they were worried about infection. They admitted me that night and told me iof I hadn't had any contractions over night then they would give me a pessary in the morning. Had the worst nights sleep worrying about baby. In the morning they gave me a pessary which was agony which didn't work, they gave me another which still didn't work so they tried some gel which made me cry in pain. My mum called and they told her it would be hours and not to bother coming till visiting time at 2pm even though she was my birth partner!! By 12pm I asked 5 times for some paracetomol as I had terrible back pains. By 1pm they said I could have some but they wanted me on the fetal monitor first. By 1:30pm I had some paracetomol and they kept coming in to monitor me. By 1:50pm the alarms on the monitor went nuts and babes hb dropped significantly. They began to wheel me into theatre as they were going to do a emergency c-section.

As I was wheeled through my mum came through the door and was faced with the horrible news I felt so sorry for her. As they were putting in my epidural the babes hb was dropping and even slowed a couple of times. Worst hour of mine and mums life. They then rushed mum to get her changed into scrubs and took me to theatre. They began cutting befor the epidural had told kicked in and I screamed with agony. Gave me another dose which kicked in thank god. Dylan was born at 5opm exactly weighing 5lb 5ozs. He was rushed to special care as he wasn't breathing great. I was stitched and mum was taking to give dylan his first cuddle. When she left that night I had still only seen a quick glance of him but she was assured I would see him soon. By the time she visited at 12pm on the saturday I still had not seen or cuddled my son. She went mad as you can imagine and made the midwives get dylan. At 12:30pm I first held my son 19 and a half hours after he was born.

When the doc came round they explained that they had cut my bladder when they did the c-section and apologised for the fact that the epidural hadn't kicked in before they started cutting.

I struggled to bond with dylan terribly even having dreams he wasn't really mine as I had never cuddled my baby straight away. But one night we were on our own and he looked straight at me and grasped my finger as if to say I understand mum but I am yours. I had a hour long cry picked up my baby and loved him from that day onwards.

It takes time but you will get over it. I am actually having a elective c-section this time, I know I must be mad. lol

Don't punish yourself for feeling this way it will be ok. You have a amazing little life to look after and you are a amazing mummy to go through that trauma. In time you will find this baby and you will have a huge bond because of the horrible birth that only you two could possibly comprehend. Much love to you honey. xxx

 

[ippa]

Leannesxb your story made me cry! I'm sorry you went through that! It is so scary having an emergency c-section!
XxX

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[Coolbeans2010]

Missye, what an awful experience you have had. My friend had bad experience and the way she managed to come to terms with it so to speak was to raise the issues with the hospital concerned.

She felt very strongly that by telling her story and understanding what had happened to her during this time getting her questions answered she could 1. Bond better with her child 2. Avoid anyone else going through a similar situation.

If this is something you feel you would benefit from advise you to call an organisation called the Independent Complaints Advocacy Service (ICAS) and they support you in raising such issues with NHS trusts. They will come and visit or talk over the phone and the will facilitate the whole process for you. My friend ended up having a meeting with the head of midwifery to talk through her questions and a lot of learning came out for the staff involved and she came away feeling she could move on with her life.

http://www.pohwer.net/how_we_can_help/independent.html

I am not sure what hospital you were at so the link will help you choose the right area.

I'm so sorry to hear your story and I hope this may help you xxx

 

[Maria1977]

OMG I am shocked at reading your experience. I had to have an emergency section after a long labour, but I was in no treated how you were and everything was explained throughout (not that I could remember because I was shattered and out of it to be honest), but the level of respect that was shown for me and my partner was immense.

I have just been to a referral at the gynae clinic at the same hospital to find out exactly what happened and why it ended up in emergency section and again the doctors were fantastic.

I would recommened speaking to a health visitor about your experience and letting them know that you need to know exactly what happened and what was gonig on, that you need some closure to move on.

I totally understand why you are feeling so low over it all, you really need to get some answers hun

 

[Geminiblue]

OMG COMPLAIN COMPLAIN COMPLAIN seek legal advice whether you pay for it or Citizens Advice...get a copy of your notes as has already been suggested. I had an emergency C section and at no point did I feel that I wasnt consulted or informed...yes I understand there would have been a sense of urgency BUT all the way through you were treated appaulingly. Go to your docs and get counselling too get it out in the open my lovely and I havent heard many a terrible story like yours so honestly dont let that put you off x am thinking of you and look after yourself xxx

 

[lewisca]

I would complain hun cant believe no one took the couple on mins to explain things to u !! someone could have surely basicially explained thing and then found the time to go more in depth !! I also agree and would ask to see your medical notes know u have to do this in writing though. hope u get some answers and closure to the whole thing hun xxxx

 

[cosmicgirl]

I took legal action against the hospital where I gave birth to my twins.
When I went into labour at 37wks they scanned me and found that twin 1 was head down but twin 2 was transverse (sideways). They said they wanted to try for a normal delivery as twin 2 might turn once twin 1 has been delivered. I was really concerned, it was too many mights and maybes for me, this was my babies lives here!
So as I was delivering twin 1, twin 2 started to get distressed, they needed twin 1 out asap, the consultant was getting loud, the room was already full of people as it was twins. They got the forceps, made a massive episiotomy from front to back diagonally reaching my bum cheek and pulled twin 1 out rapidly, the dr had his foot on the bed for leverage. The consultant then started screaming to the other dr's, I mean screaming, loudly. Twin 2 was now arm presentation, (still transverse but an arm in the birth canal) and his cord had prolapsed. I was also now losing too much blood and going into shock, we were both in danger.
Lights started flashing on the ceiling and right down the corridor, alarms were blurring. They raced to theatre with a midwife with her hand up my birth canal pushing Babys arm back in the whole time. The GA had to be administered so quickly that the dr had to put pressure on my throat like he was strangling me (I found out later that this is a technique used in emergency procedures to stop reflux of stomach contents when putting someone under quickly).
I woke up an hour later (during a blood transfusion, 2 pints were needed) not knowing if twin 2 was alive or not.
Luckily we all made it through alive.
I was in agony from the vaginal birth, the episiotomy, the forceps and the Caesarian that I had experienced all within an hour.
I researched twin delivery heavily after my mis-managed delivery and every piece of literature I have read states that if twin 2 is transverse, a c section should be planned to prevent the situation I went through.
I still to this day suffer pain and numbness from the massive, poorly stitched episiotomy and because the c section cut was made so quickly it is a lot higher than it should be and on a slope (the top of it can be seen above my jeans!)
This has destroyed my self confidence, I don't allow my oh to see the scar and even find myself with my hand over it in the bath so I don't have to look at it. I'm sure that this and the episiotomy pain has contributed to my lack of a sex life since the birth.
I still have flashbacks every now and again although they are fading with time.
My precious twins are here and well and I thank god for that every day xx


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[Geminiblue]

oh dear christ cosmic girl, I dont know what to say...what happened with the legal side of things ?

 

[cosmicgirl]

I had a taped interview at the hospital with the head of obstetrics, the lead consultant and lead midwife. They all closed ranks and stood by the fact that they still think they did the right thing and as I had had two previous normal delivered that it was just an unfortunate incident and they had every reason to believe they had managed me correctly. It's notoriously difficult to bring a case against the nhs, they apologised and offered me plastic surgery for my scar x


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[Jayceesmumma]

What horrific stories!! I am speechless!! I'd definitely complain to the highest people and get some form of councilling hun what a traumatic experience!!!

 

[reillybaby1987]

Oh i'm speechless, what a horrific experience to go through, i would definetely complain against everyone involved!!! ((((((hugs)))) xx

 

[Momma`Kat]

Im still depressed about my section 10 months on. There was meconium in my waters which put a pool birth out of my options, But when I got into labour ward (After 4 days of labour at home!) They put me on a bed, hooked me up to moniters and wouldnt let me move! I put that as the reason I had to have a section, Baby was laid on my back making things more painful and longer, and she wouldnt move down. When I got into labour ward i gave the midwife my birth plan, How I didnt want an epidural, and how I wanted to atleast be up and walking, and have a ball to use. And about an hour later, she yelled at me for wanting to goto the bathroom on my own! Their fucking moniters werent working properly. I said you can moniter me, fine, but can you do it intermittently so I can move and they just said No. Even though they had a portable monitering system! It was sat right there and they refused to use it. And then then the midwife came in when I was mid contraction and asked my MOTHER if they cold give me an epidural!! She agreed despite me shaking my head while trying to get through the contraction, next thing I know they are back , and SHE signed the consent form!!!! I was too frustrated and tired to fight and ended up with an epidural, which FAILED, they had to do it 3 times! And it still didnt work, but now i was definately bed bo und and then a doctor came in, said he wanted to do a section, (For no reason except I had been there for 24 horus! thats fine time for a first labour!) and didnt even get a consent form, they just wheeled me off!!!!! After it was all said and done they made me stay in hospital for a week, and because of that, i got swineflu.

I am so annoyed at the way things went. The baby was absolutely fine! There was no reason for their actions. And i regualrly think about it, and how i WANTED it to go! I hated it and I cant wait for my next one, just to prove to myself that i can actually do it! I feel cheated from the birth i wanted and was entitled to.