CSA

[baby1201]

My ex doesn't see nor pay for my son, he was very abusive towards me so I left for the sake of my son and went into a refuge. Bit of a complicated situation but basically as he is on the birth certificate he has shared responsibility so if he found us he could just take him off me. I'm thinking of going for a residency order aswell as a non molestation order to protect us for the future. That might make him seek contact but I've been advised its likely he would only get contact centre visits for a long time and I really can't see him sticking to them anyway. It does annoy he though how I have to struggle financially yet he lives the life of riley on his 50k a year wages. If I took him to the csa for maintenance how would it work? And would my benefits be affected? Any advise would be much appreciated, thanks x

 

[wifeywifey]

Csa mmoney doesnt affect your benefits. It might take a while if he is uncoperative but you apply to them and if they can they contact him. Have a look at csa website hun x

 

[mylullaby]

Call the CSA as soon as you can - even if it takes them a while to comply, they'll back date his payments to when you first got in touch with them. The payments come straight out of his wages as a percentage of his NET income - the CSA will be able to give you more information.

He can't just come and take your child even though he's on the birth certificate honey - your son knows you and is used to being around you. Get something official in place through the courts though - that way you can be seen to be doing everything by the book and he'll have to stick to his side.

Maintenance payments and contact are two entirely separate issues - so just because he makes payments, doesn't automatically entitle him to a certain amount of contact. They will sort out the two separately. Why don't you book an appointment with the Citizens Advice Bureau and see if they can help you to get things in order? xx

 

[baby1201]

Thank you, I've looked on the website and got the number so I'm going to ring them this afternoon and discuss my options. I went to the citizens advice bureau when I first went into the women's refuge and I didn't find them very helpful, every question I asked them they did an internet search which I could of done and in the end told me to go and see a solicitor as they didn't know ny rights. I am going to have to go and see a solicitor to get some orders in place anyway now, but does anyone know how I stand with getting legal aid? From what I can gather because I've recently been in a refuge (although not anymore) I may be able to get it but I'm still a little unsure. I do know that they have cut all legal aid and you can only get it in certain circumstances now. I have been on income support since going into the refuge and I have no savings as such.x

 

[wifeywifey]

You should be alowed legal aid because of your circumstances. Call q solicitor they usually offer a free inital consultation

 

[baby1201]

Yes I will do. I rang cms today which has apparently taken over csa from what I can gather. I gave all my ex partners details and explained everything to me. I choose the collect and pay option so I don't have to have any contact with him given the circumstances and she said if his awkward about things it might take a couple of months before I receive any money. I'm glad he doesn't know where I live he will be furious when he gets that letter x

 

[mylullaby]

Well he can just fucking well be furious then can't he? The prick. Even if it takes a few months though honey, they'll back date it so you'll get those few months worth in a lump sum. Hopefully that'll help to make things a bit easier for you when it eventually comes through. Hopefully you'll find out more about the legal aid situation when you've had your free consultation with the solicitor. I'd be very surprised if you weren't entitled to it. Best of luck getting everything sorted xx

 

[baby1201]

Thanks. Ideally I don't want him having any contact with my son but paying maintenance might inspire him to try to get at me so if I get everything set up then all he is likely to get is contact centres and I can't see him travelling 3 hours each way for very long when he has no bond with my son and they don't even know each other. He has another daughter who is 4 who he has choose to never see so his clearly not bothered about his kids.x

 

[mylullaby]

Yeah, he might try it on with the contact, which for you could mean going along with it, but it sounds unlikely that he'll stick to it if he's shown no interest before. It'll purely be a tactic to get to you and as long as you show him it's not (even if on the inside it's doing your head in) he'll get bored.