Anyone know anything about family law

[cosmicgirl]

So to cut a very long story short -
8 years ago my ex won a court case allowing him contact with my son, 2 Sunday's each month, he had to email me a list of the dates (chosen by him) meaning I'd have to drop off J 10-4 on these two Sundays each month.
We went through contact centres, CAFCAS and court, very long and expensive process. I said he wouldn't maintain it and would let J down, court said a bad dad is better than no dad (they actually said that).
We all felt that the ex just wanted this to have contact with me, he always said we would get back together, didn't move on etc etc.
The court said my oh could drop and collect J, meaning I had no contact with the ex, ex wasn't happy.

Anyway, last I heard from ex was October last year, he saw J 6 times last year (should be twice per month).
No Christmas present, no birthday present, nothing, since October.

I still have to check this email address daily to see if he's sent dates.

So my question is, at what point legally can I give this up as a bad job and tell him he's fucked his chances, he's not interested and he can't pick up and drop J when it suits?
Do I have to put up with this til he is 18?
Do I have to return to court? xx

 

[Emmamb]

I think u have to return to court,sorry cant help much more but my sil is always in and out of court with her ex cos he doesn't stick to arrangements xx

 

[cosmicgirl]

Arrhhhh nightmare!
I think I will leave it and see if he actually does ever get in contact again (it's been 6 months now) and see what happens from there.
Makes me laugh (or cry) the number of chances these waste of space "parents" are given x

 

[daniph1]

Cosmic - you can email me - I am a family law solicitor (non practicing atm) and I specialise in children law xxxx

 

[cosmicgirl]

Cheers hun, I'm so sick of this situation, feel like a doormat and he calls all the shots! x

 

[tabbi]

Return to court hunni, i am having this with my daughters dad when we split he didnt want anything do with her then when i got with my OH he changed his tune. i have since moved house 150 miles away and had 2 court orders in place first one was that he would have contact once a fortnight i'd pay for him to come see her for 8 hours and my in laws wud collect him and drop him at mk station. the second lot of contact his parents were meant to bring him down )he's 39 enxt month) after he failed to turn up 4 times i took him back to court and now he can only see her once a month on a day that suits me. and now its in a contact centre. try it through the court you never know it usually goes our way and even better since he aint seen him since october good luck hunni x xx

 

[cosmicgirl]

Thanks hun, sorry to hear you've have trouble too x

 

[tabbi]

well this is it but you'd be best to go to court and they can't agree with him otherwise you'll just get messed around again and with you been pregnant the judge will go more in your favour x x x if you want any adivce hun you know where find me x xx

 

[cosmicgirl]

Thanks love xx

 

[tabbi]

your mum than welcome just do whats best for you and your family x x x

 

[cosmicgirl]

It's hard isn't it, but he's just messing my son about. Who doesn't bother with a Christmas or birthday present??? x

 

[Princess81]

I don't have a clue cossie but that's horrible what's worse is if he was using your son to maintain contact with you - that's such a sad and awful thing. I hope he doesn't bother his arse getting in contact cos it sounds like he's better off without xxx

 

[tabbi]

my daughter's dad. he hasn't bothered since we broke up which was back in sep 10. she knows no different as long as your son knows YOU love him, YOU do everything for him, thats all that matters and if when he is older he asks 'mummy why did daddy never get me any presents' or something similar you tell him the truth you love him more than his daddy did. i dunno honestly what i am going to tell my daughter at the moment she calls my OH daddy he reads to her, gives her hugs and kisses he is her daddy her father does nothing she knows no different, i love my OH for everything he does for us and even though he isnt her dad he still gets presents off him or the cute 'i love you daddy' at night. remember your doing the best thing her and so is your ex by not been there just dont tell him that x x x

 

[cosmicgirl]

I don't have a clue cossie but that's horrible what's worse is if he was using your son to maintain contact with you - that's such a sad and awful thing. I hope he doesn't bother his arse getting in contact cos it sounds like he's better off without xxx

That's exactly what he was doing and what's worse, it was soooo obvious to everyone! I wonder if he's lost interest because he's got a new girlfriend??? Either way it's beyond sad xx

 

[titch]

thats really sad!

Ive seen OHs contact order and it says very clearly that if either of them breach it they are in contempt of court. You could have him arrested surely? am I wrong?

Daniph1 Im messaging you now, I didnt realise you working in family law!

 

[cosmicgirl]

my daughter's dad. he hasn't bothered since we broke up which was back in sep 10. she knows no different as long as your son knows YOU love him, YOU do everything for him, thats all that matters and if when he is older he asks 'mummy why did daddy never get me any presents' or something similar you tell him the truth you love him more than his daddy did. i dunno honestly what i am going to tell my daughter at the moment she calls my OH daddy he reads to her, gives her hugs and kisses he is her daddy her father does nothing she knows no different, i love my OH for everything he does for us and even though he isnt her dad he still gets presents off him or the cute 'i love you daddy' at night. remember your doing the best thing her and so is your ex by not been there just dont tell him that x x x

And the thing is he's never been interested, my son knows that and at the moment would rather be playing out with his mates than seeing his "dad". Whenever he took him he never did anything nice with him, just sat in his sisters drinking tea until it was time to drop him off again x

 

[tabbi]

then it goes to show your both better off without him in your lives, just concentrate on your son and baby and family i hope he got some gf and leaves you alone and for it to stay that way. x x x

 

[cosmicgirl]

Oh god, so do I, that would be amazing x

 

[tabbi]

if it happens for you wish it on me too, wudnt mind losing her dad as hes in it for same reason but the chances of him seeing someone else are 1 in a million he a stalker gross. after a month i think it is from what i can tell on the court papers if he hasnt had contact he has broken his court order therefore even if he were to arrange contact you have no oblgation to take him as he broke the order himself. so your in the clear anyway hun am waiting for my mate who a sol to let me know for sure x x x

 

[cosmicgirl]

I hope you can get some closure on this, for your and your little girls sake. How these kids are picked up and dropped on a whim disgusts me xx