Coping with two losses

[Aprilxxx]

Hi ladies,

This year I have had to miscarriages. My first at 6 weeks and my second was a MMC at 13 and I had to get a d&c.

I feel emotionally awful about this. I’m so scared I’ll never to carry to term. I am also desperate to have a child so the thought of it never happening is heartbreaking.
Also, I KNOW the misscariages are not my fault but I FEEL like they are. I feel like it’s my fault my body couldn’t protect them. I feel like there is something wrong with me. I’ve tried explaining how I feel to my partner but he doesn’t understand. I feel like I’ll feel this way forever...until I carry to term. But I don’t think I’ll ever carry to term so I feel like I’m just stuck in a vicious cycle.

I want to try again starting in December but I’m so scared.
Can anyone relate ?

 

[Rainbow1234]

I’m sorry you’re going through this. I’ve been there and understand fully how you feel. My first pregnancy resulted in a mmc and d&c, my 2nd was a mc. But I then had a straightforward easy pregnancy with my daughter. I wasn’t on any medication or doing anything differently, it just stuck. It can happen, you need to try and stay positive. Mentally it’s very difficult and unfortunately (if you’re Anything like me) pregnancy will never be fun now but 3rd times a charm. I’ll keep my fingers crossed for you xx

 

[emcayo]

Can relate. I had two back to backs, both pretty early and have the same fear. I worry this will never be in the cards and I will turn into a bitter woman resentful of fertile friends. The only thing to do is take it day by day and do the best you can. Next time, if I'm lucky enough to get another BFP, I will not even tell my husband to shield him from the pain.

 

[miamia]

I am sorry you are going through this. Unfortunately up to 3 mcs might happen to anyone, so I would recommend staying positive and do not blame yourself. If you want, you might discuss with your doc whether karyotyping or PGS NGS might increase your chances of getting pregnant.

 

[SmithyBaby]

Hello lovely,
I'm so so sorry this happened to you, I know it's heartbreaking and really hard to believe it wasnt you but you must believe that. You did everything you could but for whatever reason those little ones weren't meant to make it to term. Don't think for one second that it means you can't or that you won't. I had a mc at 5.5 weeks and a mc at 10 weeks followed by a D&E. I really thought I would never carry a baby and I could feel myself changing as a person. I decided to give my body a little bit of time to recover. I waited til I had had 3 real cycles that I could track correctly and we got pregnant first time trying again. My 20 week scan is Wednesday. Anything could still go wrong and I am still terrified every day but I just keep trusting my body that it knows what to do. You did all you can and that's the most you can ask of yourself. Don't pressure yourself with it, take it slow and all the good luck and dust in the world for when you decide to try again xxx

 

[SmithyBaby]

I also forgot to mention all of mine happened in 2018 so it was all in the same year. It is possible xxx