Confused/Disgusted/Scared

[KellyLS]

Ive been in a relationship with my bf for a little over 3 years. He has a long past of steroid use and we were unable to conceive for a long time. After discussing this for two years he got completely off of them and went to a fertility specialist to get his sperm count to normal levels. This past December we finally conceived. Now he is saying he never expected to get pregnant and we can't have it because its not the way his family does things. We need to get married first and then have kids. Somedays he says he wants and other days he doesn't because he is scared of his family.

Last night, i was cleaning and what do i find...steriods. So not only am i hit with the fact he wants me to get an abortion...but, i also find out he has been lying to me and he is back on them. Im disgusted and in all honesty have no idea what to do.

 

[Sarah13]

I don't really know what to say as i know nothing about steroids and its effects but could he be saying these nasty things because he's on them? Surely he wouldn't have gone to all the effort to get off them and have fertility treatment if the timing was wrong and he didn't expect it to work? Is there a rehab place he can go back to that helped before?

Whatever you do, do what is right for you even if it looks like you will be a single mum, you don't want your baby brought up round drugs if he isn't willing to get off them. You don't need to be hearing that kind of thing now your pregnant and he obviously cares more about drugs than you or the baby. Do you have any close friends or family you can talk to for support?

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[Jayjay027]

My ex was on steroids for the last leg of our relationship, and the man who took the steroids, was not the same man I knew!
He was so mean and nasty while taking them, so it could be the steroids that are making him say these nasty things.

You need to tell him that its not on, that u both discussed it and if his family don't like it - stuff them!!

If need be, leave him for a while. I wouldn't put up with my DH changing his mind like that. I'd leave him and let him see life without me in it and it should be the slap in the face he needs to grow up and stop putting drugs before u and ur LO.

I really hope u get things sorted xx

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[KellyLS]

Thank you for your replies....i agree. He went to the length to correct the problem. And now that its fixed it should be the happiest time ever and thats why i don't get it. I want to be happy and feel happy and be doing the things that come along with it. Im 36 and not getting any younger.

And my best friend said same thing regarding his family. She also thinks that i need to stand my ground and he will come around. The unknowing is what is so hard at this point....its not suppose to be like this.

 

[tabbi]

dont have the abortion hunni if you have done all this to have a baby then keep it, even if it means his family look down on him at the end of the day its a life you made together and no man can make you choose its your body and your baby atm your choice i would leave him for a while and say if he didnt get off the drugs he'd never see baby until he is sorted i did it with my ex and it took 3 months but he finally got off them and sorted himself just so he could see our daugher now even though we have split he doesnt bother seeing her now x

 

[littlemuffin]

I can understand why you are confused.

But he knew what he was doing when you dtd, and made the baby. It is your decision, as it is your body. Please don't rush this as it is important. But you do need to talk to him.

I hope it all works out ok.