Childbirth is a lottery - do you agree?

[claire23]

Thanks redbear just taken my comment off incase it causes trouble x

 

[fresh]

Sorry to hear Claire

 

[redbear]

Thanks redbear just taken my comment off incase it causes trouble x

I can see how it was misread hun, i don't think it would cause trouble-- no one would ever say the mum is at fault for a terrible labor experience. That would be insulting to any mums like yourself and idiotic x

 

[knopk@]

I think a lot of it is a lottery. Panicking and being a drama queen wont help but if you have to scream - its not necessarily bad.
I have seen so many women with many attitudes to labour have completely different experiences i doubt THAT much is in our hands.
Being fit will help in terms of coping but doesnt guarantee a good birth experience at all.

Tapatalking so cant see signatures

 

[SunnyGirl]

I was totally calm and did hypno and bounced on a ball and so on. But despite all this my baby was too big for me and got distressed trying to move down (I was in labour for days and days) so it was EMCS. I completely disagree with the view you can do much to affect what is physically possible and what isn't. Interesting thread!

 

[Samsgirl]

I also did hypnobirthing, bounced on a ball, read up on everything, felt very prepared and it all went pete tong. I was also in labour for days because my little lady was a big lady and she went back to back during labour and then went in a funny position down the birth canal....

So unfortunately, no matter how prepared you feel or how much positive thinking you do prior to the day, sometimes it just goes very different to how you expect/want.

My advice to anyone who has yet to deliver....just be completely open minded. completely. I had an awful labour and delivery and it took me 13 weeks to recover...but here I am 7 months on and cant wait to be pregnant again with baby number 2 and in a weird way, when it comes to labour am now thinking 'bring it on' I wont lie...for the first few weeks, I suffered with post traumatic stress because of what i went through...but time is a good healer and you will recover and get on with it no matter what you go through.

But i do agree...it is a bit of a lottery....no 2 births are the same from what i can gather xx

 

[kanga86]

I think it is a total lottery too, I ended up with an emergency c section cos Harry's heart rate dropped to around 50bpm for 5 mins! Not sure how me being calm, mobile etc could have changed that. It was harry that was in distress not me, it was extremely painful and I was coping with the pain, but his heart rate had been up and down for the 3 hours I laboured for. xx

 

[BunnyN]

I think there are so many things that effect a birth, some of them we have control over, some we don't. There is certainly plenty we can do to help ourselves, and it often will help, perhaps even making the difference between an easy labour and a string of complications but circumstances will always vary. Some people who do everything 'right' will still end up with everything going wrong. Someone who has an easy labour can not put it purely down to positive thinking, being relaxed, breathing techniques waterbirth or anything else, they were also fortunate. No one should feel like they failed to do it right when things don't go to plan but that shouldn't stop us from trying to do what we can to help ourselves.

 

[Nessicle]

I agree you can't control how your labour will go you can maybe help influence it but you can't control it.

My waters broke completely at 41+3 contractions came thick and fast within 30 mins. 12 hours labour I was only 2cm and was told I needed syntocinon to speed up my contractions as I wasn't dilating fast enough and baby was at risk of infection.

I was put on the drip and asked for an epidural as I was so exhausted from no sleep in 2 days.

In the end it took me 28 hours to dilate by which point she was stuck as she was too big for me. The doctors tried forceps which didn't work and i ended up with am emcs and a blood transfusion as I lost a lot of blood. I was very poorly afterwards

I don't believe I had any control over what happened that's just the labour card I was dealt and had to deal with it.

PND and PTSD is not fun though!

I've opted for an elcs this time I'm petrified of the same thing happening whereas when I was pregnant with my daughter I was looking forward to the experience.

 

[Samsgirl]

I agree you can't control how your labour will go you can maybe help influence it but you can't control it.

My waters broke completely at 41+3 contractions came thick and fast within 30 mins. 12 hours labour I was only 2cm and was told I needed syntocinon to speed up my contractions as I wasn't dilating fast enough and baby was at risk of infection.

I was put on the drip and asked for an epidural as I was so exhausted from no sleep in 2 days.

In the end it took me 28 hours to dilate by which point she was stuck as she was too big for me. The doctors tried forceps which didn't work and i ended up with am emcs and a blood transfusion as I lost a lot of blood. I was very poorly afterwards

I don't believe I had any control over what happened that's just the labour card I was dealt and had to deal with it.

PND and PTSD is not fun though!

I've opted for an elcs this time I'm petrified of the same thing happening whereas when I was pregnant with my daughter I was looking forward to the experience.

while i am not pregnant, I am thinking i will give labour another go. But i have been offered an elective c sec and so will just see how i feel once i am pregnant. I just dont want to panic or have it ruin my whole pregnancy woth me being a nervous wreck....xx

 

[Nessicle]

Good for you hun I'm just too traumatised to try again but I think hats great if you want to try again. Likelihood is the same thing wouldn't happen again but I'm too scared to take that risk especially with having a 2 year old to take care of this time. I hope when it happens it goes swimmingly for you

 

[Samsgirl]

If I am showing big again, then that may make my decision for me...xx

 

[Nessicle]

If I am showing big again, then that may make my decision for me...xx

I'm even bigger this time, I measured behind with DD and went to 42 weeks and she was 9lb. I'm measuring 2 weeks ahead at the moment and while fundal isn't accurate I'm expected a big baby again it kinda made the decision for me too x

 

[kaytee11]

i think its a lottery but then again i cant really make a full blown decision on it until i have baby no. 2 and see if thats different cause then il have something to compare it to.

I do believe that all the walking and reflexology helped me go into labour on my due date and i do think the fact Aila changed to back to back in the space of two day was down to the fact i slept on my back. I also think that had i been able to move around more during labour things might have gone quicker but then again i went home from hospital at 1 cm, went to sleep came back 6 hours later and was at 6cm and had slept for 5 of those 6 hours so hat wasnt much movement really.

To be honest i did yoga and raspberry leaf tea and walking but i never went to ante natal classes or looked up birthing techniques or pain relief. I went in completeley blind in the pure fact that ignorance was bliss & id love to have the chance to do it again because the memories of the back to back have terrified me for labour again.

 

[frankie247]

I think you can do a lot to influence your pregnancy, and you can help yourself a lot during childbirth but I think some factors are our of your hands. Xanthe turned breech at 37 weeks, until then she'd been head down and I was doing everything I could to turn her back head down but it didn't work and so she was born by c-section, something I didn't expect at all throughout my pregnancy. Then there is morning sickness, I was really sick - I tried everything to stop feeling sick, but nothing worked, I tried to prevent stretch marks - nothing worked! If something is going to happen, then it's going to happen.

 

[MaybeImAmazed]

Its good to see such a lot of different experiences yet all of them relatively 'good'. Reminds us that labour isn't always the drama it's made out to be on TV and some of the more horrific ones are exception rather than norm. Really good to hear women who had a tough time, prepared to do it again. This thread whilst varied has def helped me get my head around how you do just have to go with the flow, and whilst you can help yourself, it may not always work and that's not your fault. Thanks so much ladies.

 

[titch]

While I do think that there are steps you can take to try and prepare yourself for labour I do think that ultimately what happens during labour is out of your hands.
I had a very calm and relaxed approach to labour, never ever feared it and have some experience with meditation so planned to put some of that to use. I am a calm person by nature and when my labour started neither me nor my OH were panicked or scared. Despite our positive and calm outlooks things didn't go according to plan and I ended up with a very long and traumatic birth.
I do not feel as if there is anything I could have done differently that would have meant any of this could be avoided. My lo juts had a very hard time.
Hopefully this time will be different but I haven't done anything differently preparation wise as I feel that what will be will be. No point in stressing.
Some ladies are just lucky i guess?

totally agree with this, I was totally relaxed about the whole thing, totally excited to go into labour. Then servere gestational hypertension, induction before body was ready, days of labour on a 6 bedder with no support, moved to labour ward, pumped full of hormones, rushed for emergency section, allergic reaction to drugs given during surgery.... couldnt have been more opposite to what I had spent months visualising, at one point I had 9 tubes/wires coming from various parts of my body. It was horrendous, but I totally believed that because I had done all this preparation I was going to have a lovely birth, so I found it very difficult to come to terms with afterwards, I was in counselling 6 months later, because I couldnt stop trying to work out what I did wrong. So whilst I dont think women should sit back and let it all pan out helplessly, it does need to be acknowledged that sometimes, theres nothing can be done.

 

[BunnyN]

totally agree with this, I was totally relaxed about the whole thing, totally excited to go into labour. Then servere gestational hypertension, induction before body was ready, days of labour on a 6 bedder with no support, moved to labour ward, pumped full of hormones, rushed for emergency section, allergic reaction to drugs given during surgery.... couldnt have been more opposite to what I had spent months visualising, at one point I had 9 tubes/wires coming from various parts of my body. It was horrendous, but I totally believed that because I had done all this preparation I was going to have a lovely birth, so I found it very difficult to come to terms with afterwards, I was in counselling 6 months later, because I couldnt stop trying to work out what I did wrong. So whilst I dont think women should sit back and let it all pan out helplessly, it does need to be acknowledged that sometimes, theres nothing can be done.

I think this is a good example of someone who did everything 'right' but things went wrong, sometimes it just happens

Can I ask titch, what caused your allergy? This is one of my biggest fears for labour. I don't mind doing it all natural without drugs but I'm worried about it if I need interventions because I am a very allergic person and have had allergic reactions to various medications in the past. Unfortunately it's something that doctors don't tend to take seriously until after the fact.

 

[titch]

totally agree with this, I was totally relaxed about the whole thing, totally excited to go into labour. Then servere gestational hypertension, induction before body was ready, days of labour on a 6 bedder with no support, moved to labour ward, pumped full of hormones, rushed for emergency section, allergic reaction to drugs given during surgery.... couldnt have been more opposite to what I had spent months visualising, at one point I had 9 tubes/wires coming from various parts of my body. It was horrendous, but I totally believed that because I had done all this preparation I was going to have a lovely birth, so I found it very difficult to come to terms with afterwards, I was in counselling 6 months later, because I couldnt stop trying to work out what I did wrong. So whilst I dont think women should sit back and let it all pan out helplessly, it does need to be acknowledged that sometimes, theres nothing can be done.

I think this is a good example of someone who did everything 'right' but things went wrong, sometimes it just happens

Can I ask titch, what caused your allergy? This is one of my biggest fears for labour. I don't mind doing it all natural without drugs but I'm worried about it if I need interventions because I am a very allergic person and have had allergic reactions to various medications in the past. Unfortunately it's something that doctors don't tend to take seriously until after the fact.

I didnt know until my counselling sessions 6 months later! My counsellor got my notes out and we found out in one of the sessions thankfully!
I had a reaction to syntocinin which is a synthetic hormone, supposed to mimic labour hormones. They give you a massive dose after they get the baby out in a c section to get the placenta out. It made all the muscles in my body shake and my rib cage contracted so much I couldnt breathe and my jaw clamped shut. It was very frightening, it was literally squeezing the breath out of me. They stopped the drug then did it again, to see and it happened again! I suppose they had to know it wasnt caused by something else but FFS!! I lost a lot of blood cos they were ages trying to sort this out with the placenta still attached.
If I get pregnant again Im going to tattooo "give me syntocinin and Ill sue you" accross my forehead, just incase

 

[BunnyN]

It's kind of bad that they didn't explain to you what happened so that you don't give it to you again in the future. Doctors don't tend to like to admit that a drug they gave you can cause an allergy. I am allergic to budesonide which is a synthetic hormone used to treat asthma. The doctor said it is impossible to be allergic to it because it exactly the same as the hormone that occurs naturally. Finally he believed me when I took it in front of him and he thought I was going to stop breathing. Actually he was pretty nice about it after, I think it scared him, but he could have just believed me. Soo anyway I tend to cringe when I hear the words 'synthetic hormone' I'm sure the chances of me being allergic to it are still pretty slim but the idea of syntocinin was already making me nervous. In some hospitals they give it routinely after birth to speed up the last part of labour so I'm going to say I don't want it unless of an emergency and I'm just hoping I can avoid a c section!