The pain of Childbirth

[Kerry]

Hi Mirra,

Firstly, childbirth is nothing bad and cannot be compared to accidents, surgery etc but I see what you mean about trying to compare the pain thing.

Are you in the UK? I would recommend you get yourself some rescue remedy, available from any chemist in the UK or on Ebay if you are outside the UK, it's great to use during those panicky times during pregnancy and great for use during labour too.

If you are in the UK try not to watch too many American birth programmes as it is very different over here and not so surgical etc, they can seem quite scary and believe me it's not like that here.

I work as a Doula and have watched many women go through labour, it's never as bad in real life as it is on the TV, so don't let that worry you.

I too was very private before I had my children - now it all seems to have gone out of the window......this tends to happen during labour and you may find you feel less worried once you are in labour. Just make sure what ever staff are with you in labour know how you feel and they will do their best to make you feel comfortable. Put it in your birth plan that exposure worries you etc and that you are a private person.

I too am a size 16-18 and never had any problems with my first two and I think I was probably heavier then too, just makes sure you ignore the 'eating for two' thing as you actually need to eat more during breastfeeding than you do when pregnant and keep up a little excercise if you can as it will help with your labour if you keep your fitness up - you can be big and fit so don't let anyone let you feel bad about your weight - you'll be fine.

Take care - don't worry

Much love

 

[Mirra]

Thanks Kerry. I'm in the UK now but going back to the US next friday as I wanted togive birth near my family (I'm American, hubby is Scottish). Hospitals over there seem to different depending on the place. I was with my best friend when she had hers (though I left the room during the actualy delivery part), and it was a nice place. The equipment over there does look a little high tech at times but that stuff doesn't scare me. It's the women's faces and yelling that scare me.

I do worry about how they will be there though. When my friend had her second one they had checked and she was dilated at 3 or 4 or somewhere around there. Anyway, they sent her to walk up and down this long hallway. She kept doubling over saying this wasn't like her first pregnancy and she was in so much pain. The nurse treated her like she was a big baby and kind of ignored her. When the doctor came in, it turned out she was at the point where she should be pushing and they had her walking! The doctor gave the nurse some serious flack about it, lol. Turned out her labor was super fast with that one and nice and easy.

Butt it does make me worried about how they will treat me. Though that was just one person and I'm vocal enough, lol. I'm gonna discuss that concern ahead of time when I go back though so I'm sure they'll put me at ease. I really must compliment the hospital here in Aberdeen where I've had 2 scans so far. While the equipment doesn't seem quite so high tech....the midwifes and scanners there have been fantastic! Talking me through everything end explaining it all. I hope it will be like that back in the US as they really put me at ease (I had bled for my first scan and was so scared). If I have people like that during delivery it will really help.

So far I think my food intake has been okay. I'm just now in the second trimester and sickness is still not gone all the way (but going). I lost quite ab it of weight before getting pregnant so I was eating right then and eating a little less than that now due to being sick. I feel like I'm gaining a ton though and not sure why. Though, only in my tummy and no where else...it's wierd, I look bloated, lol. I'm starting to eat healthier again now that I can stomach and I'm def gonna excersize as soon as I can.

I'm sure I'll live through it I do find that uaually when I panic I find it's never as bad as I imagined. It's just scary seeing it. BTW, what is Rescue Remedy?

 

[Kerry]

http://www.rescueremedy.co.uk/2005/rr4.html

Check that out for details of rescue remedy. Its perfectly harmless during pregnancy and can even be used on newborn babies, it is however made with alcohol so don't drink the whole bottle!! A few drops every so often is fine though.

Maybe get yourself a few bottles before you go home - its great stuff!! As soon as you get that panicky feeling you just take a few drops on your tongue and you feel better.

Good luck, much love

 

[Tiny Sue]

hey all

I'm 13 and a half weeks in my first pregnancy. In some irrational situations, I'm a real worry wart - I am a sufferer of General Anxiety Disorder - but the funny thing is, apart from a couple of moments of worry when I first became pregnant, I haven't been worried about the birth at all. Perhaps it's because the pregnancy is only beginning to be "real" for me now - we had our first scan last week - that I haven't worried, or perhaps it's that the birth is so far away.
It has occurred to me that it will be painful, but my mother did it four times, one natural, the rest with epidurals. My great grandmother, by all accounts, did it 21 times - at home with no pain relief at all (I wonder about that woman's constitution - what on earth did she eat?)

I guess, I've said two things to myself...one, there is no other way barring a miscarriage, for the baby to leave your body. You don't want miscarriage, and you want the baby so much, you're going to hack it.
Two, women are designed for childbirth and have been doing it for millions of years. The body is an amazing thing.

I've had pretty severe period pain since I was 15, sometimes vomiting, sometimes rolling around in the bed. I thought I had endometriosis, I used to get so bad. And I fully expect labour to be worse - but as some of the other ladies have said, a pain with a very positive outcome. And if I need an epidural, I'll ask for one.

Dunno if that makes anyone feel better! I'll let you know if I start feeling nervous closer to the birth!

Sue

 

[Manda]

My friend is a wimp when it comes to pain and she has given birth twicw using just gas and air and is now pregnant again so it can't be that bad (i hope my siter in law also gave birth with just gas and air.

The thought of an epidural scares me more than labour itself, having read a book on all different options of pain relief an epidural has the most things against it, so i've decided to try with just gas and air and i'm hoping for a water birth. I also read the best thing to do is think positive and with every contraction just go with it and think i'm another one close to my having my baby (probably easier said than done but anything is worth a go).

Good luck when the time comes.

 

[kelly_chunn]

Of course child birth is painful, but look i have done it twice now and will b goiing through it again. Wiv my 2nd boy i had him at at home, just using gas and air, so planning on doing the same this time.

But just remember all that pain is so worth it, u soon forget it. Take care

Kelly

 

Despite what I've said before, I am actually now looking forward to going into labour! Before you all think I've gone totally mad, I'm looking forward to it as the temporary pain I'll feel is so positive and I know that I will get to meet my beautiful baby at the end of it. Plus, I've never done it before so how can I be scared of what I don't know? At this point in time I'm not scared at all and very ready for it (albeit still 6 months away).

Saying that - ask me again in 5 and a half months - I might not be saying the same thing then

 

[Lisa J]

i cant wait i am more scared of staying in the hospital overnight than actually giving birth.
the thought of actualy being the hospital all night scares the crap out of me. WEIRD I KNOW!!!

 

[Lou]

Hi girls

Do you know its really weird but the last few days or so I have honestly lost all my fears when it comes to giving birth! I'm not saying I won't be scared nearer my due date but for some reason (hormones maybe) I am feeling so excited and positive that it now actually feels likes I have nothing to be afraid of! And it was only a few weeks ago I was at my doctors crying my eyes out because I was scared lol

I hope this feeling lasts!

Lou

 

[Manda]

I've always said to my mum the day i find out i'm pregnant i will s**t myself at the thought of giving birth, but my pregnancy has had that many problems and i've been in loads of pain that i'm actually looking forward to the birth (you never know after a rough pregnancy i might have a short easy labour ok thats wishful thinking lol)

 

[Sarah W Baby Belly]

Actually I feel very positive about labour. : : : :!:

Wierd I know.

I am just trying to focus on the fact that it is the one pain that you experience in your life that is actually positive and will have a definite end to it, with the most amazing gift afterwards!

I read in my NCT magazine (bumps and babies) that it is actually panic that makes it hurt for most women. Apparently the body has a natural way of coping with the pain, but we always ruin it by going into a state of panic and killing off the natural painkillers.

I really don't know how I am going to react when it happens but I really really hope that I can avoid panicking. Probably being a bit hopeful here but anything is worth a try.

 

[Kerry]

Well done Sarah, that is totally the right attitude!! The more relaxed and happy you are during labour the easier it will be for you - its very important to laugh and smile (if you can) during labour!!

 

[Sarah W Baby Belly]

Well i am normally a very upbeat person and can normally laugh most things off. I really hope that I can find something to laugh at during labour. I can put money on me bursting out laughing at least once. I'll let you know if I actually do!

 

[Mirra]

It's funny, like a few others have posted, I seemed to have relaxed at the idea of giving birth over the last few days. I'm still scared of doing it, but I'm not so worried anymore (though I'm early on and will bet that changes when I get closer, lol). I think I've relaxed for a few reasons....

One, this thread. That has really helped a lot. Two, all the birthing programs I've watched. A week ago, they turned my stomach and made me feel panicky...but I guess because I've seen so many, I've gotten used to them and it doesn't really bother me now.

And three, I had a long talk with hubby about it. I've always wanted him in there, but there was a part of me that didn't. I have this thing about anyone seeing e in pain or sick. My hubby knows that if I throw up he has to stay far away and turn up the TV so he can't hear....I dunno why I'm so paranoid, I just don't like people to see me in pain. Also, there is nothing pretty in childbirth! Sounds dumb I know, but after what I've seen on the shows....if I were a guy, I don't think I'd EVER wanna sleep with my wife again after that! lol But at the same time I want him there (which of course he will be) because he is so good at keeping my mind off of things when I feel bad. He is the opposite, when he has pains he prefers to be alone so he can concentrate on controlling his thoughts away from pain. When I am alone, it's all I think about...so I do better with him there to take my mind off of it. So anyway, we had a very long talk and I told him how I feel and he really put me at ease (especially about the "You'll never wanna sleep with me again!" thing, lol.

I've no doubt I'll be afraid, but like anything in life... I will deal with it and move on. Besides, I get a baby after! I've decided I'll just not worry about it or freak out....at least until it's time, hehe.



P.S. I go back to the U.S. on friday...I've never seen gas/air being used in their programs and don't remember my best friend having it when she had her baby (but that was 11 years ago)....does anyone know if they use the gas over there? Or the TENS machines??

 

[Kerry]

I keep a childs book in my birth bag about a mole who pops up out of his hole and someone pooh's on his head!! The rest of the story is his mission to find out which animal it was..........sounds stupid but makes my ladies smile and relax, that was a recommendation from Ina May Gaskin (you may of heard of her). Try taking a funny CD or DVD to watch / listen to or find something on the hospital TV......with one of my ladies we found a programme about house cleaning that was soooooo naff it made us laugh out loud!!

 

[Mirra]

LOL wth....where did you get it? I wanna read that story!