The pain of Childbirth

[whirleegirrl]

just to let you ladies know that while it isn't a walk in the park, it really isn't as bad as you are all imagining. the pain happens with the labour pains while the baby is moving out of the uterus into the birth canal. it feels exactly like very very strong menstral cramps. once you are able to start pushing it is actually a relief. actually pushing the baby out is not painfull. at least it wasn't for me. hope that puts your mind at ease.
ps--i went natural as it all happened so fast for me, but if you need pain killers, don't be afraid to ask for them. after all you wouldn't necessarily have your teeth pulled out without any medication!

 

[Lou]

lol god bless you whirleegirrl (whats your name mean ?!?) We need more people like you to post in here and make us all feel better.

I am hoping for an epidural as its the actual pushing out that i'm scared of. Since I had laser treatment years ago on my cervix I hate being messed with "down below" lol (well medically anyway if you know what I mean)

Now i'm embarrassed

lou

 

[Blossom]

Lou, I had that Laser treatment as well - they had to inject a local anasthetic into my cervix first before they did it and then lasered off the cells. I found it the most violating experience of my life and it really freaked me out for a few days....horrible!

My biggest fear about labour is tearing/episiotomy. I can cope with the idea of the contractions and stuff, I know it will hurt but I think I can deal with it in my head (and pain relief ) but it's the tearing that just terrifies the hell out of me. Som,etimes I get so worked up about it I consider asking for a caesarean - how crazy am I that I'm prepared to go through a caesarean but can't bear the thought of a small tear?

Oh well...not long now anyways...

 

[Lou]

Hi Blossom

I feel the same about a cesarean. Because I may not be able to have an epidural I would have to have a general anesthetic and I'm not sure how I feel about waking up with my baby but having no experience of giving birth. Would be really weird.
When I had my laser treatment it was done under general anesthetic because I was too distressed for them to do it under a local. Big baby I am!

Lou

 

[Rosebay]

Hi Ladies,

can I just say right now that I swear in front of you lovely ladies not to frighten women after I've given birth however difficult it was! I am SO fed up of having women I meet tell me horrible stories- often not even of their own birth experiences just to freak me out. Why do they do it? My sister-in-law was driving me potty yesterday as according to her I a) shouldn't have been eating lettuce at all (even washed- total rubbish- I've since looked it up) b) will not possibly be able to cope with a baby without a car due to the enormous amount of stuff you HAVE to have with you c)will not be able to go on holiday for several years (???) and d) will "never be the same again down there". (There was more but I will not repeat!)Great! Fabulous! What helpful non-advice! Grrr. My Mum said that she was quite alright "down there afterwards"- even after two babies so I won't let her get to me! It's bullying frankly and it gets me all angry! I'm going to do my very best to avoid her for the next four months!!

To counteract that the wife of a guy who works with me had her first a fortnight ago and he brought in photos to show me today- it's his first day back. His wife is fine- she was induced 9 days early as she had rare liver problems but the actual delivery lasted only 3 hours with no problems, all she had was gas and air and she's happily at home with her gorgeous little son and was apparently talking about having another one only 24 hours after having the first. Now that's the kind of story I WANT to be told!!

Solidarity my expectant sisters! We should resolve not to scare future Mums ourselves once we're done! My Nan who's 91 and had three kids pre-proper pain relief days said not to worry about the birth as once you've got the baby in your arms you forget about it and if not straight away then it certainly is worth it so you soon forget. Not one woman I've spoken to has said that it wasn't worth it and as you say people go on to have several so all in all I think we'll all be ok!

+++

 

[BubbleOne]

Hi Lou,
I watched a 'hospital programme some months back and I remember a man who was rushed in with a kidney infection and he was doubled over and screaming in agony. The doctor said that it is the only 'problem' that a man will ever get that will compare to giving birth. And I believe he said that in some cases it can be more painful than giving birth. So I'd say if you expect the same pain you had then, it will be much the same or even less painful. Except you get a beautiful bundle at the end!!

 

[Layla]

i cant relate laubor pain with anything coz i think its in a class of its own.

i had pethadine while in labor with my son.....it never touched me, did nothing atall, didnt make me feel weak didnt take an ounce of the pain away.

6 weeks after my son was born, i was rushed in with really bad tummy pains which at the time i tohught were worse than labour, but, the nurses gave me pethadine to ease my pain and it worked within seconds, and took every bit of pain away.

so i guess what im trying to say is, every labour pain is diffrent to everyone, pain refile works diffrent to everyone, i hate to be a kill joy but i dont think anything can prepaear for you child birth, its both the most painful and exciting expreiance you are ever likely to go through

xxxx

 

[Rosieroo]

My auntie gave birth last week on just gas and air. She was worried sick about the pain and said she'd have all the drugs going, it was her first and she was in labour for 10 hours.

My sisters friend was induced earlier this week and also had just gas and air. She was in labour for longer than my auntie (not sure of exact hours).

I know if both these women can get through it I have a fighting chance too

 

[~*Gemma*~]

Hiya Ladies ,
Im only 17 and this my first child ,and i am really really scared about giving birth .My mom yesterday said its compleat agony and that i wont be able to but up with it .My Dr said there is a big chance of me having a c-section ,so i went and asked my aunty what it was like (she had a c-section with both her children) ,she didnt give me much comfort either she told me she still has problems with her scars .Im so worried its like i cant win .What do you lot think ???
gemma xxx

 

[littlebump]

Hi Gemma

It's a shame you are getting such horror stories from your family. I am scared as I think most first time mums are, but just remember women have been doing this for thousands of years, and they coped with the pain of labour long before pain killers were around - if not, then we simply would not have survived as a species. As many have already said on this thread, in some ways you may be able to cope with it better than pain you may have experienced before because at least there will be an end in sight, and at least you'll get a beautiful baby at the end of it -there is a very positive outcome.

Don't worry too much - you will cope with whatever is thrown at you - it's what we were designed to do - it will be painful but we can rise to it there will be a fantastic outcome making it all worthwhile.

Lots of luck

LBxx

 

[-Cat-]

It really isn't worth worrying about, people deal with pain differently, okay so you may find it really painfull and it gets to much for you. If this happens dont be affraid to ask for an epidural. dont let the idea of a needle being stuck in your back scare you, a cold spray is put over yu back first and then a quick local anesthetic given so the area is numb for them to put the needle in. once in place the epidural will remove all pain, you can sit back and read a book its that effective, it stops the signals going to your brain so you feel nothing. you can even have a cesarian with just an epidural cause it really stops feeling!
Try not to let the birth work you up and ruin your pregnancy, it dosent have to be painfull and it will be one of the greatest experiences of your life when you are handed your newly born baby!

 

[Blossom]

The trouble is with phobias is that they are irrational.

Even though we all know that people have them every day and they are probably fine and so on, irrational fears are just that. I know I'm not supposed to worry about it, but I can't stop myself from worrying about something....there's no 'button' for me im afraid.

Cat, you're lucky you're such a level headed person.

 

[LouisecH]

Lou and Blossom

I had laser treatment 2 years ago (stage 2) and was told by the nasty woman who performed the treatment (very uncaringly I may add - without details) that I may need help when I got pregnant.

I didn't ask too much about it as I fainted 2 seconds later from pain but did you get told any of that? I didn't have a cone biopsy just laser so I don't understand why my cervix would be weaker

Does anyone know about having your cervix measured?

I thought about asking for a cervical cerlage but it seems that opinion is divided on whether or not it is more of a problem that the original problem itself, if you see what I mean.

Any help appreciated.

 

[hels]

Hi Girls...this too is my first baby and have heard all sorts of hellish stories. lets face it, its not gonna be a walk in the park, but like someone (sorry so many posts/quotes cant rememer names sorry.!) already mentioned, its one or one and a half days out of your life, surely we can cope and it'll all be worth every tiny bit off pain?????
This may sound so so so sad, but i think if i have my DF by my side, I can defo do it!!!!!
I am going to opt for an epidural, if mum is distressed with pain and severe uncomfortableness then surely so is baby?
If people start telling me hell stories from now on, they will be told in no uncertain terms to kindly keep their stories to them self. Yes it is always someone who knew someone.....never actually them is it, so most of it is bull!

any way, most of you are all due much sooner than me, so i hope all your birth stories will be fantastic,
wishing you all much luck.

 

[littlebump]

Well, this doesn't count as a horror story, but I met up with some friends last weekend and two of them have had babies. I asked what labour was like and both said that while it was painful, they were able to cope because the contractions would wear off just when the pain started to get intense. Therefore they were able to catch their breath between contractions. Both said they would have asked for an epidural if they felt like they needed it, and both said they managed to cope OK with just gas/air etc.

Everyone's experience is different, and of course copes differently with pain, but this certainly made me feel a lot better.

LBxx

 

[Emansmom2005]

As for having your cervix measured, I go in every 2 weeks now to have my cervix measured. They ck it via vaginal u/s. It's really no big deal. I had my first son 3 1/2 weeks early, which I didn't think was that early but my OB wants to keep a close ck on my cervix in case it begins to shorten we can take precautions ie bed rest, no intercouse. This sort of puts my mind at ease every 2 weeks. Hope this info helps.

As for L&D I felt it was fairly an easy experience. I got an epidural which was a life savor!! I didn't even know that I was in labour. I went in for a ck up and my Bp was elevated and amniotic fluid was a little low so I was admitted for labs and monitoring. When my Ob got there he cked me and I was 3 cm dilated and 100% effaced. The nurse finally asked me after 2 hours on the monitor, "I have to ask you do you feel those contractions?? They are registering very high and 2 min apart." I didn't even know!! wow what luck cuz I can't deal with pain. Anyway, the Doc broke my water and at about 4+ cm I got my epidural as I was feeling some pain after he broke my water. The rest was a breeze. I hope this L&D goes as smooth. Not all are the same but I hope this also helps put your minds at ease. If you're not set on a natural birth epidural is definately the way to go!!

Good luck Ladies I'm sure you will all do well Shannon

 

[Sarah W Baby Belly]

Little bump

I heard the same thing as you mentioned from one of my best friends who recently attended her sisters birth.

She said the same, in that with labour, the pain does come in waves and you do get a chance to recover from each burst.

I think I will be talking to her a bit more about it, she made it sound a lot more positive than some people do.

 

[Kerry]

The pain of childbirth is such a hard thing for anyone to compare to anything.

I am on number three so have been there and done it twice already. We all like to think we will be ok in labour and to be honest most of you probably will be, it's a possitive pain, at the end of it all you will have your baby, each contraction is one more gone, never to come back ( I sound like I am at work now!! ). Find something to focus on, take your scan picture with you and look at that during contractions, don't watch the clock, time doesn't matter.

It's our biggest worry during pregnancy but don't doubt yourself - I was petrified before my first and ended up doing a 48 hour labour on just gas and air and had nothing with my second as she was too quick.

Just a word of advice to all those of you who are going to go in and hook up the epidural as soon as you get there.........give yourself a chance, have a go without it, such a high percentage of ladies who have an epidural end up with an emergency C-section or lots of other forms of intervention such as ventouse and forceps and episiotomy etc. You may surprise yourself and cope ok without it.

Also baby isn't necessarily destressed cause you are - some women are screaming banshee's during labour and their baby will still monitor as fine.

After I had my long 48 hour labour with my son I thought it was the best thing I had ever done in my life - so much so that I wrote an account of the whole thing - its very long and very real but if anyone wants me to email it to them then PM me your email address and I will.

Anyway, just wanted to give you all a bit of a confidence boost.

Much love

 

[Mirra]

Thanks for the uplifting stories ladies.

I am expecting my first and absolutely terrified. I'm not sqeemish about things like needles and having blood drawn. But my problem is, I've never been in any real pain before. No accidents, no broken bones, no surgeries, etc. I tend to do okay with sudden sharp pains like when you bonk your toe on something, lol. But I get very whiny and teary when I have prolonged pain, like when I have a migraine.

I'm also EXTREMELY modest and I get embarrassed SO easy, even around my poor hubby. I expected childbirth to be like what you see in the movies (like 9 months, or look who's talking) where the only person who sees what's going on is the doctor.

So now, I've watched several births on TV (because my book says if you are very nervous to read up and learn what happens so you know what to expect and that will relax you). I watch a lot on the living shows, shows like Babie's Room show birth a lot. Sorry, but that doesn't relax me one bit! It looks so scary to me. Even women who have epidurals are still crying and yelping out. And so much for modesty, the whole room can see it all!

C-Section terrifies me too. I've never had major surgery so I'm not sure what having stitches and a wound feels like when healing. I'm not a small girl either (size 16) and I carry ym weight normally in my belly anyway, so I worry about how that would effect things. The thought of the C-Section while awake is wierd to me. I've never been numbed other than at dentist office so it seems wierd to be awake knowing you're just wide open.

Honestly, at this point when I see a birth or read about them, my heart races and my breathing gets shallow and I actually feel panicky. Watching blood and stuff doesn't bother me, but watching someone in pain makes me feel sick and faint. I suppose I'm lucky I've never had anything bad happen to me, but at this point I wish I had because I have nothing to compare too.

 

[Sarah W Baby Belly]

Mirra

When I had a migraine a few weeks ago, some people just laughed at me. Their opinion was, how the hell are you going to cope in labour if you can't cope with a measly headache.

But when I mentioned it to my best mate she had a totally different opinion. She said that a migraine is a negative pain that doesn't give you any relief as it tends to just get worse and worse and you never think it is going to end.

But with labour, it is a positive pain, that comes in waves, that give you a break and at least you know it will end at some point, as it can't possibly go on forever, which I thought was a really good point as well.

I am really determined not to be scared of labour, for as long as possible.

Lets enjoy our bump growing and not think about labour. I intend to enjoy being pregnant!