Can I have a cuddle?

[LuW]

I was meant to have an amazing 8 days with my man on his R&R this past week and it was ruined.

That stupid cow is using her baby as a toy and is being more then rude and abusive and I can't take any more messages over whatever I'm meant to be today. I can't take my little Angels name being dragged through the mud anymore and I can't stand by and let her just walk all over people when L's brother has a beautiful video of her very drunkenly declaring the amount of men she drugged to get pregnant.

I can't do this. I'm on my 9th panic attack today already and it's been this way most of the time L was home. It's not F*CKING FAIR.

nobody knowns whose he is and I know shes claiming benefits she shouldn't be having because she says shes living on her own and isn't and I know she earns a DAMN site more then she claims she does.

WTF am I meant to do.

I keep having dreams that he comes back from tour, goes back to see friends for a week then I get a text saying he's staying with her they're going to make a go of it. He's all I have. I honestly believe I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for him. And it wouldn't have been intentionally, it's just when I'm upset I don't feel hungry and just after Billie left us I don't think I ate for about 4 days and still didn't feel hungry but he forced me to have something and checks that I eaten at least once a day whether he's home or not.


Sorry for the rant I'm just in pain physically and emotionally and I can't stand by anymore but I don't know what to do.

 

[kirstymichelle]

well i wanted to give you a big hug after reading this. I'm sure that he would never want to return to a woman so vindictive. x x x x

 

[nikki8092]

well i wanted to give you a big hug after reading this. I'm sure that he would never want to return to a woman so vindictive. x x x x

Totally agree she sounds like a complete mega b*tch. Im sure he knows he is better off without her and with you. Big hugs hunnie

 

[Kezzamunster]

xxxx

 

[MrsDraven]

*hugs you* She sounds like a psycho. Mega cuddles xxx

 

[LuW]

thank you girls!!

me and L's mum have had a fall out tonight because I phoned to see what his dad thought we should do was having a nice chat over how he thnks all ties should be cut because once the child's 18 if he comes looking for L then we can get the proof and we'll bend over backwards then, because shes told them theres no way she 'has to prove anything they should take her word' (they don't know her from adam before this!) and L's mum snatched the phone away and told me to stop lying over my boy and making him up and to back out of L's life so he can be a real dad. He can't stand to look at the child because he can just see everything we've missed out on with Billie. (theres about a month between them if Billie had been to term)

Fuming isn't the word right now.

 

[evie_smith]

Awe babes if that was my oh's family he would seriously put some space between them as well xxx isn't there a medical record you can get hold of? You might have to pay for it but then you can shove it in her face and tell her to fuck off xxx

 

[LuW]

I've nothing but a pregnancy test. My local hospital botched my care up well and truely and then covered their asses after I lodged a complaint.

Found that out when I went to my GP and he asked how baby was (about 3 weeks after my MC) and I broke down in tears. He'd no idea what had happened because there wasn't a record of if. My entire medical history had be cleared for RPH's systems up to an op I had on my shoulder 12 years ago! So all my wonderful work gaining weight again was wiped from my GP and everything. I was fuming and so was he because he knew there had been records because he'd filled them in personally.

Other wise I'd shove them down MIL and SIL's throats because they both say this is a 'stunt' to get attention because we've only just started talking about him and its nearly his first birthday.

FIL is lovely though and keeps BBM-ing/texting/emailing me to make sure I'm okay and he's asked ike full details over my boy and everything that went on (including if Billie was L's, which to L he is, not biologically but L still says he's his son.)

I just don't get how they think I could be such a disgusting person as to lie about my baby! It's so frustrating because I dropped everything and moved round to theirs over the summer because FIL had an op and needed a carer but they couldn't afford one so I said I'd go around and cover during the day and help him get about and keep some sort of normality before the op and then after while he got back on his face as MIL needed to pick up more hours at work to cover bills. I went WAY beyond what they asked me too and I know they paid for my food and gave me a place to stay there but I never asked for a single penny for something that I had been getting paid for and Now MIL and SIL (SIL who decided going and following gay pride around the UK was more important then her own dad's health) are making me out to be this god awful person!


Now if FIL asked me to come back and care for him again when he has the second part of his op I would but just because it's him and I can't ever say no to someone who needs the support. But I wouldn't be staying in their house. one of L's friends runs a hotel so I'd probs stay there and trade work for board and ateast 1 meal a day. I'd happily work evening and nights at the hotel and then go to FIL's for a day of support. It was 'nearly' what I did hours wise when I was working as a support worker anyway.

 

[BevG]

do what you need to do hun but dont put yourself out too much for the ungrateful ones. im sure your fella appreciates all you do for his family even when they dont. he loves you to absolute pieces. as for bitchface and her progeny if shes claiming things she shouldnt have you can always report her as i get hacked at ppl who lie to get more benefits as it takes away from the ppl that really need them and gives all ppl in the system a bad name and they dont deserve that.

hugs n stuffs xx

 

[LuW]

Thanks hun!!

Makes me so mad that while she wasn't able to go out drinking in public she was all holier then thou and now shes spending every wed, thurs, fri and sat drunk and thats where things are coming out of the wood work from.

Not being funny but I thought she was meant to be a mother? Not a bloody student. People scoff at my age when I tell them over Billie and I would move heaven and earth for him just like I know all of you would for your children and your angel babies, yet she's a 'wonderful' mother because she's a good age....... It makes me sick.

 

[BevG]

unfortunately age and maturity level arent the same thing. some ppl have a jaded view of young ppl being mums but in reality its more unusual to have kids older really. it was always young women that got married and had kids. after all at one time it was a special thing to get to 50 lol. its just modern society's current trend to be mature and have a career and life before having kids. age aint nothing but a number and its how you act and represent yourself that matters hun x

 

[LuW]

I've very traditional views on life too tbh, like I want to spend my entire ife looking after my children, man and home and take on a part time job just for something to do while they're all at school. I'm not carer driven in the slightest and when people brag over promotions to me I'm just like.... oh great...so that means you get paid like £3 more an hour for CRAP loads more pointless responsibility....
My mum doesn't understand me but shes very feminist and a busy body. She's glad that I don't have ANY liking in the current way of drinking though - drinking to get drunk- that others my age do. I think its a waste of time money and lives tbh.

like 150 years ago I would have been nearly a spinster and I'm not even 20! If this 2ww comes of then I'll be 19 when my baby gets here and I spend most of my time worrying if I'll ever get to be a mummy, if I'll be a good mummy, if L's safe, all while planning out the cleaning, cooking (I might have cheated and gotton me and the brother dominos tonight but I'm allowed one night off right! haha) and and washing and ironing of all the clothes because I've little else to do tbh!! So Yeh I definately like a damn site more mature then my age!