Calling all mums of two (or more!)

[5Element]

I am just really curious. My hubby and I are doing lots of taking about #2 or not. For a long time we have said no . But I would be interested to read your replies to my question. Our lo is in general so so good. Sleep never been a huge problem, teething, tantrums nothing extreme. I have heard stories that the second lo is often exactly the opposite!
Thanks ladies for your stories - the truth please - no holds barred!!!!!

 

[MrsT2011]

Everyone used to call my son the zen baby as he is so chilled and was such an easy baby.
My daughter on the other hand is much harder lol.
She's just a lot more emotional than my son although she's only 3 months so it could change!

 

[babybee]

My eldest, now 3 and a half, was an ok sleeper and has tantrums but nothing extreme. However my youngest was an absoloute horror when it came to sleeping - at one point up every 45 minutes. Now she's 21 months and is very tantrummy but has turned into an amazing sleeper.
However on the flip side, she's very interactive and is entertained by her big sister a lot so doesn't need as much of my attention. She copies everything her sister does so can talk very well and was potty trained from 18 months. She also has a very funny personality, not that her sister doesn't, but she's definitely the joker of the family.

I found the first 6 months hell on earth but since then its been lovely.x

 

[kumber]

We have found it really hard. DS1 was an easy baby, very chilled out and relaxed. I did the usual FTM panic of omg this is really hard, but from about 12 weeks onwards he was great. When he hit 9-10 months, there was a massive behavioural change which I think was likely the start of his ASD. He's now 2 and it's a challenge as he has no speech, very little understanding of basic instruction (pass me the wipes/sippy cup/etc) and as little to no association ability. He's the sweetest natured boy I have ever come across in my life but he's also a leggy ball of frustration that can be difficult to understand.

DS2 was a horrific baby. He had severe reflux, tongue tie, he breast fed 2 hourly day and night from the day he was born right up until a week shy of 10 months where he dropped pretty all boob feeds. He has only, in the last 8 weeks or so, started eating without screaming halfway through. He is also a little ball of frustration but that's because he isn't as caught up with things as his brother and he's also going through a lovely nasty leap!

DS2 is 1 on Sunday. It has been the hardest 12 months of my life. I don't think I have cried so much ever. BUT now it's completely worth it. Even with the ASD, they have a lovely bond and it's a relief to me that they will always have each other.

We are now trying for #3 so something must be going right!

 

[Tigger87]

Baby number 1 was such hard work: bad sleeper (still is), major tantrums, doesn't listen, total nightmare really. Number 2 is the absolute opposite so far. Sleeps well, feeds minimally, pretty content doing whatever. I couldn't have coped with another Jake, but just one of "that type" seems more than doable!!! Xx

 

[CARNAT22]

Eldest was a (relative) dream. Good feeder, slept through from 10w, generally an easy going and confident baby and toddler. Of course we had the tantrums and the day to day tribulations (we also have a few issues with food fussiness and constipation) but on the whole child 1 was a doddle.

Child 2. Nightmare. Sorry. I hate to compare my kids and rarely do so but in comparison second child was clingy, very needy, never slept (still doesn't and she is 19m). She showed signs of a milk allergy from weaning and was formally diagnosed at 13m, but she was breastfed and never showed any reactions to my milk? I cannot wholly say her being a difficult baby was down to her CMPA. Even as a toddler she is grumpy, doesn't sleep, is always on the go, has tantrums, still breastfeeds at night, won't sleep in her own cot, hates me leaving her.

I adore both of them and have no regrets but had my little Bee been baby 1 she would have been an only.

One thing to really bare is mind is with one child it's 2 versus 1.... when you change that dynamic your time and patience is split (not your love, your love never diminishes or splits)



X

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[T84]

2 is hard hard going but to be honest it's the toddler that's the hardest one, so if you can handle that then go for it

I figure I've got a few hard years until the get older and then having the 2 close together will be worth it - please lord! x

 

[BunnyN]

We were the opposite. Our 1st was very hard work as a baby and DS turned out to be a lot easier. Of course it is hard work with two but it was not as hard as I expected. On the whole the two of them have not been harder than DD was on her own as a baby. I get a lot of support from OH which helps. We have had small age gaps. Pregnancy with a toddler (and now two of them) has been hard at times. I had a very large bump and high bp twards the end with DS, a and terrible sickness in the beginning of this pregnancy and a MC that I was very poorly with before that. I couldn't have done the pregnancy part without lots of help from OH and some help from family.

 

[Rooster30]

I had the opposite fortune. My son was just horrendous, bad colic, bad sleeper, bad at weaning, fussy, hated baths in the early days, rubbish at potty training etc etc Nothing came easily. Ruddy nightmare.

My daughter, brilliant, has always slept like a dream - she has never woken more than twice as a newborn and after two months no wake ups at all and that's been the way for the past year. She eats anything and everything. However she is very strong willed and will tantrum more easily than my son did. She won't hold my hand either whereas my son is and was a very very good hand holder and very safety conscious which made that aspect of my life easier, my daughter needs a lot more of my attention in that respect. Still waiting for her to respond to me and my instructions and not sure when I need to worry about that.

I loved having my second and it took a lot of courage to brave going through it all over again. But, she really has been so good - she eats and she sleeps so I'm happy!

 

[MummyBee]

They always say you never get 2 the same lol. Our first was an angel. Always slept well. Ate well. No tantrums. No teething. Literally the perfect baby. Only now at nearly 5 hes turned into a demon lol. Number 2 is a horror child! Up and down a fair few nights. Like a leech. Terrible tantrums. Just seens to hate life in general lol everythings an issue! We thought itd get easier... a year on still no better :'(

 

[jenni16]

My almost two year old was an easy baby, at least we thought he was until number two came along - she is SO easy so far (she's only 14 weeks so plenty of time to change yet.....!).
Looking back, Oscar was much more hard work than we thought, but at the time we had nothing to compare him to, apart from a friends baby who suffered really bad reflux, so in comparison he WAS easy. He's a very feisty and independent boy which makes life much easier but also so much harder when he is determined to do absolutely everything his own way and refuses help of any kind! He's so loud....so, so loud! I actually feel sorry for our poor neighbours some days. It's not necessarily crying, just constant noise, talking, singing, pretending to be a hoover is his latest thing. He's always been a fab night time sleeper, sleeping through from 10 weeks. But day time naps have always been a battle.
Belle on the other hand, is a dream. She's suffered from reflux and constipation but a lot of people don't believe me because she is so chilled 90% of the time. She will sleep anywhere (bed, pram, floor, swimming pool changing rooms.....lol) and is so happy and smiley. She rarely cries for anything either. Total opposite to her brother! Thank goodness! I love him, but he is definitely hard work the older he is getting.
Everyone said I was mad having two under two, but seeing the two of them together is absolutely worth it all tho, I wouldn't change it for the world. Pregnancy was hard with a demanding toddler, mainly because I suffered with SPD so found it hard to get down on the floor and play with him as much as he needed.
Xxx

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[Pumpkin9]

My eldest (son) was generally a very good baby, had a few weight gain and sick issues with him to start but otherwise he's always slept well, weaned well, teethed ok and we are now going through potty training and he seems to be taking to it well.

My daughter is 6 months (so 2 year age gap) and she so far has been an equally good baby if not slightly better. Generally her sleeping a good, although she's still waking once in the nights fore milk, but straight back down, and we've just started weaning her and that is going well.

So far I can't complain - this first year has been tough just because we're still doing firsts with my eldest and now we have a whole new lot of firsts with my youngest, but i always knew it would be more difficult.

Having a newborn second time round is a breeze, it's the toddler that's the challenge

 

[mrswoody]

I rarely poat on the forum now but I thought I'd army penies worth.

DD1 was a great baby, fed well, slept well, chilled out, look everything in her stride and still does now.

DD2 was a very sicky baby in comparison but very similar to her sister. However as she has grown up and is now in full o toddler mode she is very different from her sister and has a fiery temper and will often tantrum over silly things. I pander to her all of the time and she is a mummy girl without a doubt. DD1 is a daddy girl but loves cuddles with mummy.

The are learning to get along and play together. It is the best thing watching them entertain each other.

The first 6-8 weeks were the worst then it settled but once DD2 could crawl life got a little harder. They now often argue but are fun of nothing but love.

I am hoping for a third so it can't be all bad x