Bad news/stress in pregnancy

[tania]

Hi all

Sorry in advance for a bit of a depressing thread...

Have just found out my mum has been diagnosed with breast cancer. They think they have found it in early stages but won't know for sure until she has an op the week after next and they take out some lymph nodes from under her arm to see if its spread. Shes also booked in for 6 weeks of radiotherapy in March.

I just can't stop crying since I found out - I would be upset anyway, but I think with pregnancy hormones and lack of sleep its just making it much worse. Am worried about me being so upset and stressed being bad for the baby (and of course should be trying to be positive for mum)

Anyone got any suggestions on ways to cope, reduce stress? Trying but its so hard!

T x

 

[flexilexi394]

Oh honey that's tough. Unfortunately it harder to just tell someone to cheer up when they are genuinely worrying, but I'd suggest just positive thinking and trying to remember that it will turn out ok. It takes a lot of strength but your mum would rather see you happy and strong rather than fall apart. Take time to close your eyes and do some deep breathing to relax your body from becoming stressed. Really hope it's caught in time and all will be well xxx

 

[rainbow dancer]

im so sorry and feel very sad for you. i have no strategys for you and coping as i think you will naturally be upset whatever you try. big hugs and sorry i havnt got any advice for you xxx

 

[midnight]

oh so sorry hun i have no advice on how to cope other than dont bottle up your emotions if you need to cry cry , its really good that they have caught it early and knowing you are pregnant will give your mum strength its suprising what a new baby can do for people that are ill and im sure when the baby is here it will really help take your mums mind off the radiotherapy

my sister was late in her pregnancy when we lost our dad but my neice came out perfectly healthy and wasnt effected by the emotions and stress that my sister was under

 

[Rheych]

sorry to hear your sad news hun, my Mum recovered from a massive kidney tumor lweighng 5lbs last year so sort of know the feeling (although I wasn't pregnany at the time) the girls are right stay positive, try and smile through it and be strong for your Mum, I honestly think the baby will help to keep her going too so tey and include her in any appointments you can if she wants to come and keep her mind occupied with other stuff.

x

 

[emma_85]

Hi all

Sorry in advance for a bit of a depressing thread...

Have just found out my mum has been diagnosed with breast cancer. They think they have found it in early stages but won't know for sure until she has an op the week after next and they take out some lymph nodes from under her arm to see if its spread. Shes also booked in for 6 weeks of radiotherapy in March.

I just can't stop crying since I found out - I would be upset anyway, but I think with pregnancy hormones and lack of sleep its just making it much worse. Am worried about me being so upset and stressed being bad for the baby (and of course should be trying to be positive for mum)

Anyone got any suggestions on ways to cope, reduce stress? Trying but its so hard!

T x

So sorry to hear about your mum sweetie.

I had a similar ordeal when I was in my second trimester. My Grandad was diagnosed with bowel cancer and was in hospital for many weeks having his bowel removed. During that time, much like you I was very tearful and completely stressed out. Normally I am miss cool, calm and collective in such situations but my hormones definately had a part to play in the buckets of water I was filling!

I visited my Dr and spilled the beans, and managed to get some sick leave from work. Also my blood pressure was a little low so I was told I must rest.

If you are not on maternity leave now, I would suggest a trip to the Dr to have some much needed time off work. I think now is the time to concentrate on you, the baby and your Mum. Just 'being there' with your Mum will be support enough and I think you will benefit from some Mother/Daughter time.

I visited my Grandad in hospital and just listening to his normal humour, his interest in the football scores and his moans about missing the daily politics show was enough to keep me sane knowing that, although unwell he was still my Grandad with the same old wise cracks, interests and personality that I have always known and loved. It may be a comfort to you also, to be around your Mum and her 'ways' that you have, i don't doubt, come to know and love.

Take Care chick x x x

 

[xx emma xx]

My mum had breast cancer 10 years ago. I know how it feels to be so worried about her. She had radiotherapy and also had to have months of chemotherapy too. But she recovered, dont get me wrong im a worrier and worry that it will come back.
It sounds like its been caught early. Try be as positive as you can for her. I was only 15 and i was a mess.
If you need someone to talk to send me a private mail xxx

 

[purpleisa]

Sorry to hear your news!

Just wanted to say good luck really. Hopefully the baby will give your mum something to focus on and keep her mind off things.

I had a bereavement in the family just three days before my daughter was born and the pregnancy and postnatal hormones made it all so much harder. I ended up going for some counselling (refered by midwife) which really helped just having a neutral person to talk to and help you to see things differently. I thought it would be awful but it did really help.

Just be good to yourself and tell the midwife what's going on - they may offer some useful advice.

Best wishes xx

 

[mikid]

Sorry to hear your news i agree with the other ladies though, your baby will do wonders for your mom's positivity and strength and will help her focus on getting better.

You need to make sure that you let out your feelings though as bottling them up is never good for anyone.

Loads of love and positive healthy thoughts to you all xx

 

[Cantstop]

So sorry to hear your terrible news. I don't think there is anything you can do to stop or ease the worrying, just spend as much time with your mam as possible. My mam was really ill and recently died so I've been obviously going through a lot and everyone keeps saying to me "look after yourself and your little one" but really there's just nothing you can do, just make sure you eat properly and try to rest - also don't be shy of getting time off work either. For me, spending time with her and my dad when she was here helped a lot. Thinking of you x

 

[lealea85]

If they have caught it in early stages fingers crossed mum will be a trooper n fight it like a gooden.
Thought I was the only one on a bad start to the year.
4 deaths n my uncle has pancreatic cancer (found out last night) but at 89 they think chemo will not be affective as he is weak.
I hope they nab it in the bud for mum.
Hormones dont help as it helps ur mind play tricks on u.
*massive hug*

 

[tania]

Thanks all, helps just having all the support.

Trying to be strong for mum, but feel I am making things worse by being so teary all the time - almost don't want to go and see her cos know I will just cry and make her feel worse. Wish I was stronger through these things!

 

[Mrs_B]

Oh hun, so sorry to hear that. Thank goodness things are being. I would say if you feel upset and want to cry, cry bottling it up wont be any good. I know it is easier said than done, but keep thinking positive thoughts. Your mum will get better!

 

[JJ Mum]

Tania, I'm so sorry about your mums news and wish her all the best for her lymph node op in two weeks.

Don't be worried to have a good cry with your mum and a cuddle, she will probably want to have a good cry with you too and afterwards it willhave done you both the world of good sharign your fears like that and letting go. She is prob trying to be strong for you , like your trying to be strong for her, and it's all too much pressure for yourselves. She will also fully understand about your hormones as she is a mum herself.

They can do amazing things with medicine nowadays so take a day at a time with your mum, and wow new baby in 6 weeks time, that's gotta be the best reason to fight as I have ever seen!! That will def put some spring into her step when she maybee going through treatment or a low point.

Sending you a hug X

 

[lealea85]

Just try to be strong n be there for mum hunny. I know it must be extremely hard for you at this time but try n be strong.
Ur crying bcos u care n it's ur mum. U both understand how each other is feeling.

I wish all the best n a speedy recovery for ur mum xx