Bad News......Please read

[BabyLover]

Hello Everyone

Me and my partner went to see my consultant for the first time today, I was going in to think I was going to be started on having tests that us women have before that start treatment, but that was a different ball game

I am totally devastated! We have been told that we are not able to have any treatment on the NHS due to the fact that we are both overweight and that there is a high risk of me dying in any treatment if it was offered and basically the consultant does not want to risk it. He has told us to go and lose weight and then come back in like 3 years time, when we are slim and have a less chance of complications. We was also told that the NHS only funds 1 go at IVF in my area and majority of areas now.

I started crying in the room and said to him, so I have been trying nearly 5 years now, lost nearly 7 stones of weight and no fault of our own we can't have the treatment we want, is answer was well I cannot risk it and also you need to have a healthy BMI and I can see his point of view, but to be knocked down like that is awful I think........

I am devastated knowing that we will not have the chance of having a baby! He did suggest to go for adopting, as this would be a good chance of getting a baby or a child. He was a nice consultant, don't get me wrong, very understanding.

We cannot afford private and also the risk of me dying with the treatment, is not what me and my o/h wants, so we have decided after tears and discussions that we are going to go for adoption after we get married and the house is sorted out. So maybe we get a child we have always wanted even though it is not ours naturally!

I am also wanting to let you all know I am no longer wanting to be on this forum, as I feel this will take it's toll on my depression and it is for the best! I have made some brilliant friends and do hope you all stay in contact (you know who you are) and would like to thank everyone for their support....

Donna x

 

[Princess81]

So sorry Donna I know you'll make a wonderful mummy to the lucky baby/child that you adopt. All the very best for the future - and never give up hope of conceiving naturally one day, it does happen xx

 

[Kezzamunster]

I haven't got much more to say then what princess has

I wish you all the best for the future

Take care of yourself



xxxxxx

 

[positivity :)]

heartbreaking. take care of yourself sweetheart. all the very best xxxxxxxxxxx

 

[Emma26]

Oh Donna. I am so sorry hun.
However, if your looking for a little ray of hope - my consultant told me that she has seen so many couples go through the process of fertility treatment etc, to no avail and to eventually give up and put themselves on an adoption list and then to find out that they are pregnant!!!

Never stop trying hun as you just never know!
Whatever happens though, any child will be sooo lucky to have a wonderful Mummy like you!!!

Much Love to you both

xxx

 

[Esperanza84]

Wish you all the best in the future!

xx

 

[LoopyLouize]

I'm so sorry - I hope everything works out for you

Best of luck x

 

[ZMD]

Im so sorry Hun! take care xx

 

[Me, My Girls & I]

I'm so sorry to hear this Hun! lots of luck for the future xxx

 

[Kerrieanne]

The system is wrong, wrong, wrong, so wrong. The government really need to tackle this area. Not only is it devistating to experience month after month of disappointment, year after year, only to be told there is little or no option for you to recive help, is completely wrong.

Know one takes into consideration the mental impact this horrible journey produces, there is just no support anywhere.

I do hope couples receive the help they deserve one day because at the moment the whole system makes me sick!!

Sorry stories like this piss me off.

Babylover i am so sorry darling and i hope you find your happiness eventually and never give up even though there are times like this when all the walls feel like they are closing in on you.

Take care of yourself ((((hugs)))))

 

[BabyLover]

Thank you so much for the support and kind words!

We really appreciate it and we would like to say a big THANK YOU to you all, this is a wonderful forum and very supported, so don't stop being like that....

I will keep my account open, so maybe you may catch me online someday, but I will not be an active member from now on.

X

 

[Mamafy]

you know where we are hun xxxx

 

[Vickyxx]

I am so sorry Donna it just isn't fair.

I wish you and your husband lots of happiness and I know in the future you will have a family.

Take care xxxxxxx

 

[Olive]

I'm sorry Donna.

The baby you adopt will be a very lucky baby indeed

xxx

 

[LouiseB]

Hiya Donna

Lets try and get a handle on this...

The problem is your weight and they are saying 3 years away because that is how long they anticipate it to take to lose however much weight.

If you lost it in a year, then i'm sure they would refer you then.

If you lost it in less, they'd refer you then.

I know losing weight isn't easy, but if you have something to aim for it might just be the motivation that you need. I lost 2 stone in 3 month and i didn't exercise at all and i wasn't that heavy - it was just a kick ass frame of mind i was in.

My dad is very overweight and he lost 5 stone in 3 month - it can be done.

Do you qualify for a gastic band?

I just don't feel like your situation is all that hopeless...

I know that whatever options you have, it is going to take longer than you'd hoped for but adoption is really last option stuff and you're 25 and have plenty of time to turn this whole situation around and still get your free IVF.

I know Nikki lives around the corner from you and she is into her exercise stuff and i'll even come around your way and we can do some classes together if it helps - we can chat about it more when we meet up.

Please don't feel defeated

 

[cosmicgirl]

Don't give up, like Louise said, it can be done xx

 

[Bead]

Please please please don't give up hope Donna. If weight loss is the option, I know you can do it! Other than that, adoption is such a magical gift to give to children who desperately need the love that you have to offer.
DH and I were looking on one of our local adoption agency websites last night, and I cried so much reading the stories of the children needing a loving home.
Please do message me if you're feeling down. I really do know how you feel, and we're all here for you.
xxxx

 

[BabyLover]

it's not just my weight, I can lose weight as I lost 7 stones in a year and half and still losing this weight...I only weigh 16 stones lol I can do it but it's not just the weight they mentioned they found something in my bloods (In which I have to go back and have further tests done) when they took them and also with 1 try on IVF, is it worth it going through the risk of IVF and only getting one chance? it is and it ain't in a sense if you understand.

I do not qualify for a gastric band, I am only 16 stones lol

We can discuss things more when we meet up!

Thanks for the advice

Hiya Donna

Lets try and get a handle on this...

The problem is your weight and they are saying 3 years away because that is how long they anticipate it to take to lose however much weight.

If you lost it in a year, then i'm sure they would refer you then.

If you lost it in less, they'd refer you then.

I know losing weight isn't easy, but if you have something to aim for it might just be the motivation that you need. I lost 2 stone in 3 month and i didn't exercise at all and i wasn't that heavy - it was just a kick ass frame of mind i was in.

My dad is very overweight and he lost 5 stone in 3 month - it can be done.

Do you qualify for a gastic band?

I just don't feel like your situation is all that hopeless...

I know that whatever options you have, it is going to take longer than you'd hoped for but adoption is really last option stuff and you're 25 and have plenty of time to turn this whole situation around and still get your free IVF.

I know Nikki lives around the corner from you and she is into her exercise stuff and i'll even come around your way and we can do some classes together if it helps - we can chat about it more when we meet up.

Please don't feel defeated

 

[LouiseB]

Oh, well you'll have to let us know what they say about your bloods

Hopefully it will be something that can be fixed.

Lots of people only get one shot of IVF

I didn't know how much you weighed so i didn't mean to cause offence - just offering suggestions based on what you told us

 

[hardtolove]

i was told i am overweight i am a size 12, my best friend is a size 22 and is 33 wk pregnant no complications got preg naturally!!! so difficult , my oh was adopted too there are so many children need good homes, but it is so difficult,when u want to see what your baby would look like,good look and if u do manage ur weight loss request refferal !!! good luck fx for u xxxx