Anyone else feeling the same? Or am I a freak?

Discussion in 'Second Trimester' started by -, Jul 31, 2005.

  1. Guest

    I know I am so lucky to have got this far at all after all the scares I've had, but sometimes I really wonder - am I doing the right thing? Can I be a mum? I really doubt the person I am and don't think I want a baby sometimes. :oops:

    Am I being totally irrational or am I normal? Is it 'normal' in pregnancy to feel resentment for the life in your belly as it takes up my wardrobe, my body, and my life? Sometimes I really don't know what I am doing. And then I feel guilty for feeling like this. Is it my depression coming back?

    Sorry guys, I don't know who else to ask. One minute I am so so happy but the next I'm so scared and don't know what I'm doing.
  2. littlebump

    littlebump Well-Known Member

    Mar 16, 2005
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    Hi Sami

    Don't get too worried - I desperately wanted to start a family, but have still had 'selfish' thoughts from time to time, about how the pregnancy is affecting my body now, and how different our lives will be - I think it's natural as we try and cope with the massive changes we're going through and what we'll have to face when our babies are born.

    It only happens when I've been a bit down, and I put it down to hormones - I know deep down I'm happy to be pregnant and am looking forward to baby's arrival. But I know my life will never be the same again. But for all the good things I'll be giving up, the rewards will be even greater.

    If you find you're feeling down a lot, or feeling stressed then I would speak to your midwife about it - they will want to know if there is any chance you are depressed and can do stuff to help. But having the occasional negative thought, I think is perfectly natural.

    Lots of hugs

  3. Lisa J

    Lisa J Well-Known Member

    May 7, 2005
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    hi sami

    i know exatly how you fel i suffred with depression this time last year.
    this pregnancy wasnt planned so was a shock to me and DH. i cant wait till the baby comes but i have been finding myself thinking i wont be able to do what ever i want when i want (i know its soo selfish) and that i will be tired all the time but then othre days i just cant wait to hold my little girl!

    I hope you feel better.

  4. Lou

    Lou Well-Known Member

    Mar 28, 2005
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    Hi Sami

    Sorry to hear you are not feeling so good. I felt all the things you are feeling now right up until a couple of weeks ago, but now I feel really great so I'm sure alot of it is down to hormones and just generally adapting to what is a huge life changing experience!

    What we are going through is something that you cannot prepare for emotionally because you can't possibly know how you are going to feel until it happens and then, to be frank, its feels like its too late to have doubts and that can make you feel out of control and guilty.

    This last week especially I feel as though I have turned a corner in my pregnancy, I have energy, I laugh all the time (even in my sleep) and I absolutely love being pregnant! But it was only a few weeks ago I was at the doctors crying because I felt scared and I was constantly asking my bf for reassurance that we are doing the right thing. I also wanted my body back! Sounds really selfish to me now but at the time I couldn't come to terms with the fact that something was living inside me and making me feel crap. My last scan helped me bond with baby and finding out the sex has made a massive difference aswell. (I'm having a boy) We have even been out and bought a cot bed and loads of other stuff.

    To say this forum has been a god send for me would be an understatement. It really helps me to chat about stuff and share experiences, good and bad.

    It won't hurt to talk to your midwife or doctor about whats on your mind, I felt tons better once I'd got things off my chest and there are always people in the forum to speak to.

    I hope you feel better soon :) I'm sure you will.

  5. boo boo

    boo boo Well-Known Member

    Jun 22, 2005
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    Het sami, i to suffered with very bad depression, and doubt myself sometimes, and keep tryin to fight off the bad thought so i do not get depressed again. My doctor warned me tho that at this period i am so vulnerable to depression. But i feel as if i must keep goin as there is no way i want to harm my child, and by puttin myself thro stress i am puttin my little bean at risk.

    I hope u feel well, and if u eva wanna chat bout stuff pm me, i can give ya my msn add if ya wan. Im always happy to help, and feel that as we may have gone thro some of the same experiences it may be a relief to know someone eles who is as bonkers as u, lol :lol: :lol: :lol:

    bec x x
  6. Guest

    Thanks Boo Boo - I'll take it as a compliment haha :lol: :lol: :lol:

    Thanks for your messages guys - I think I am going to have to speak to my doc or midwife about this just to take the pressure off a bit. I don't know if it's also as I can't work at the mo so I have too much time on my hands! I have been off work since I ws 5 wks PG and I do get bored and guess I have too much time to think.

    Thanks peeps, I don't feel so alone now. These hormones do run you ragged eh.

    Oh guess what! - We could be moved into a place of our very own within the next 2 weeks! Stressful but so exciting and I can't wait! :D
  7. Tiny Sue

    Tiny Sue Well-Known Member

    May 26, 2005
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    hey Sami...

    I actually felt all that very early on when I discovered that I was pregnant. We were trying but I didn't expect to fall pregnant so quickly and only after about 2 months of trying suddenly we had three to think about!
    We haven't been married very long yet (only 9 months) and the whole thing gave me the screaming heebie jeebies for about a fortnight. I felt that I was pregnant, this was an amazing but very new thing, and I wasn't sure I was ready. I felt - can you believe it? I felt jealous of the attention that my husband would give the baby, that it wouldn't be just us any more, was worried that our relationship could hack it, was wondering if I could be a mum, or if I'd make the same "mistakes" I, in my wisdom, think that my parents made with me and my siblings...
    However, this all passed. A few conversations with hubby, and just getting on with the pregnancy have helped. When I started bleeding at 9 weeks, a couple of irrational questions popped into my head as well, like if I miscarried would I be relieved deep down instead of devastated...we all test our consciences this way and anyone who says otherwise is probably lying. I cried my eyes out when at the doctor's office making an appointment for the EPU...I realised then that I loved our baby already.

    And at 14 weeks I love our baby even more. I'm sure that I'll make mistakes like any new mum, but hey, I wouldn't say I'll be the first. I'm sure that you will be fine and that you'll make a much better mum than you think you will. It's instinct.

    I don't have instant messenger but we can swap e mail addresses somehow I'm sure.



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