Anyone else feel deserted by friends?

[ss79]

The friends of mine who live further away have been great, texting, calling etc to see me and bump are getting on, one of them has given us an amazing amount of baby stuff and I am so grateful for these friends.

But some my friends who live nearby (within 10 miles) seem to have forgotten I existed since I told them I was pregnant. I told most of them in April and today was the first day I've heard from one of them since and I know its only cause its her birthday this week. Just asking if I want to go for lunch, no mention of how is bump doing. I've texted over the last few months and never had replies so got to the point I'm not even making an effort with her now.

Other pals, reply when I text them saying oh yeah we must meet up for dinner, but nothing ever materialises. I was always the one to organise meals out and now think why should I bother if they can't even be bothered to text once in the last 3 months and ask how Im getting on.

Just really pissed off this morning. It does seem to be my friends with children who are keeping in touch and my "friends" who don't have children are the non interested ones. Still I just think its so rude and hurtful, after 10 years of friendship with most they have just vanished.

Sorry for the long rant. Anyone else feeling like this or have friends who couldn't seem to care less about this amazing new life you're bringing into the world? Hopefully I'll meet lots of new ppl once baby is here anyway so if they still keep their distance I might not care so much. xx

 

[Bexybun]

Hey hunni, just wanted to say I know how you feel from my first time being pregnant- a lot of my party girl friends disappeared over the nine months. It was upsetting at first, but I do understand now - it can often be really difficult for someone who has no experience of pregnancy or babies to understand, and they probably feel like they don't have much in common with you anymore. To you (and other mothers / mothers-to-be), you are bringing an amazing new life into the world. To them, you're no longer able to be their fun friend. I've been called a letdown by my childless friends more times than I can remember, but it's water off a duck's back now. It's sad to lose mates, but my real friendships have stayed and I have plenty of mum friends now, and you will too. Don't let them stress you out xx

 

[ss79]

Thanks Bexybun. Glad its not just me, still I know when my friends were pregnant (and I wasn't) I kept in touch, sent them things, called to see how they were doing etc and stayed in touch with them. It just really pisses me off that other people aren't as thoughtful. Especially the one that text this morning, I was actually her bridesmaid last year. I expect I will lose friends, but I'm gaining something a lot more important. If they can't be bothered to be part of my life anymore its their loss.

 

[Laura_C]

I must admit some of the girls I lost touch with are now having babies have got back in contact with me!! I was one of the first in out group to get married and have a child but they are now interested again as they are getting married and having babies! You wait, as soon as they are expecting they'll want to get back in touch!

 

[BevG]

from past experience when friends have been pregnant ive felt awkward and had nothing to talk to them about as they seem to chat non stop about their babies, i know how excited and happy they are but i just couldnt join in on that much not having had one. also my friends who were preg seemed to ditch me in favor of chatting with other mums to be. i even offered to babysit and stuff but just got told 'oh no i couldnt ask you to do that' like i had no clue how to look after a child lol. then again my single friends dont keep in touch any better. i think in general people only want to talk to you or hang out if u are either useful to them or u have something in common.
sad but in my experience true.

 

[pinkyprincess]

I can totally sympathise! I've been feeling like this for longer ad I moved in with OH last year and live no where near my mates now. The way I see it is that in a matter of months I'll be going to mother and baby groups and will hopefully make lots if new friends!

 

[ss79]

I must admit some of the girls I lost touch with are now having babies have got back in contact with me!! I was one of the first in out group to get married and have a child but they are now interested again as they are getting married and having babies! You wait, as soon as they are expecting they'll want to get back in touch!

Thats kinda cheeky isn't it? They drop you when you're pregnant then want you to be all excited for them when its their turn? Did you become friends with them all again, was there a big gap in between?