ANY TIPS ON KEEPING OUR DH or OH INTERESTED

Discussion in 'Trying to Conceive' started by hayley, Oct 21, 2005.

  1. hayley

    hayley Well-Known Member

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    Hi Ladies....

    For those of us that have been trying for quite a while now... are you finding it hard keeping the DH or OH interested in BDing?....

    I like to give myself a good chance every month which means BDing every other day leading upto ovulation and then for the 3 days during ovulation - every day... Which can get tiring and well.... a little boring! we start off with lots of enthusiasm.... but after BDing and BDing and BDing and more BDing it becomes routine!!!!! We've tried different rooms,,,, different times of the day (even getting off work early and rushing home - that one was fun!)... but it's becoming a chore to both of us... especially DH.... this is not good! After getting home from work.. cooking tea.. taking a bath.. and basically getting stuff ready for work the next day we are both knackered! Once we've passed the ovulation stage we don't touch each other for over a week!!! too tired.. which again is not good!

    I am going underwear shopping this weekend.... maybe a bit of visual stimulation may help! but if anyone else has any more good ideas to get us both in the mood day after day... i'd appreciate it.... we have no problem at the weekend as we tend to spend more time together... we'll go out for a drive, walk or a few drinks! which seems to add a touch of romance!!!!

    desperate woman

    x
     
  2. Anna Marie

    Anna Marie Well-Known Member

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    Hi Hayley,

    Funny you write about this cos OH and I were discussing this last night.. he says he feels like he is just the "sperm donor" :cry: but to be honest it is hard work keeping both of us interested especially the second half of cycle - like you said it is not so easy to be so keen then especially as my libido is much less after OV and I am more tired and irritable as AF gets ready to pay me a visit :twisted:

    I have no real ideas but what has worked for us is just relaxing after dinner instead of being busy with chores or preparing for work etc, watching nice stuff on TV instead of gritty stuff.. something funny or romantic with a glass of wine helps but of course every night this would become boring too. The problem is as soon as you both become aware that every time you BD it is for a purpose the interest changes.. I know my OH feels cheated the second half of cycle so I have to try to be more aware of his feelings as I don't want him to lose interest in ttc either.

    What about doing those things together.. cook tea together, bathe together, listen to music while doing all this.. that works for us sometimes as it relaxes us and makes us a bit more cheerful so we have more fun!
    The underwear shopping sounds like it should work a treat... not many men cannot get in the mood with some sexy stuff on view!!!!!!! good luck and let us know how you get on...

    When I got my BFP in June we were in Italy when I concieved.. it was a lovely weekend break for a friend's wedding.. we were relaxed, had lots of lovely food and wine and were not stressed at all so we BD'd all the time [for romantic reasons as we were NOT ttc...] and hey presto.. BFP!!
    So weekends away from our normal routines may help.. I think we will be trying that soon.. not to Italy but just a weekend or two away by ourselves... even a B&B down the road is a change!!!!
     
  3. hayley

    hayley Well-Known Member

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    Hi Anne Marie

    I agree a weekend away is a real help when it comes to BDing! DH said he is going to take me away for a little break before christmas as he has been working real hard latel... even bring it home with him.... he said he wants to spoil me for being patient with him... i don't mind a bit of TLC....

    I'll have to plan the wekend away with ovulation.... I always seem ovulate around tue/wed thou... typical.


    1. sexy underwear
    2. weekend away
    3. bubble bath together

    any more idea welcome

    x
     
  4. Amanda

    Amanda Well-Known Member

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    Marry someone 11 years younger than you. They want to BD 24/7 !!!!!!!!!!!!! :lol: :lol: :lol:
     
  5. Anna Marie

    Anna Marie Well-Known Member

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    :lol: :lol: :lol:

    most people I talk to about ttc tell me they conceived in a drunken stupour... hhmm I know alcohol is not recommended but the odd night of passion whilst under the influence does seem to produce quite a few "unplanned" sproglets...

    I think I will have to try that again - I miss my wine hangovers!!! And it did work for me in Italy.. all that lovely pinot grigio!!! :wink:
     
  6. Anna Marie

    Anna Marie Well-Known Member

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    Hayley - even a romantic dinner out somewhere should set the scene... could do that on a school night if you ovulate during the week....

    Especially with all that sexy lingerie on - playing footsie under the table.. just as a teaser... :wink:
     
  7. Bagpuss17

    Bagpuss17 Well-Known Member

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    Girls, I know we're you're coming from.

    My DH is interested but it does become a bit stressful when you've got to perform on the fertile days.

    I've bought lots of nice lingerie and my DH has bought me some. I think I might book us a couple of nights in lovely hotel nearby to help us relax next month (if we haven't got a BFP by then!).

    Some how we've got to try and keep the romance. We always light some candles and get the romantic music on as well which helps.
     
  8. Helen

    Helen Well-Known Member

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    Ditto, I know exactly what you all mean, especially that post ovulation slump! :lol:

    No magic solution really, but underwear is good, although I am the Imelda Marcos of underwear anyway!! Make it the first thing you do rather than the last at night though I have a little trouble convincing the OH that it should happen before he eats!

    Send him rude texts whilst he's at work about what you want to do to him when he gets home so that he's raring to go when he gets there! :oops:
     
  9. Dippy

    Dippy Well-Known Member

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    Thanks for the tips, it's coming up to that important week again, so need to be on my best vamp like behaviour. Are your DH/OH aware of your fertile times or do you just jump on them?! My OH is totally involved now, although took a bit of convincing, he checks my ovulation stick when I have weed on it to see if it's positive or not - how about that for dedication? Bizarre foreplay though??!!
     
  10. Bagpuss17

    Bagpuss17 Well-Known Member

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    Hi,

    Yeah, my DH is aware of my fertile times, he's as keen as me that we make most of the fertile times. He sometimes checks my test if I ask him too but he always asks what the result was.

    He's really looking forward to becoming a father....I really hope we get a BFP soon.

    Good luck for your fertile week, happy BD'ing.
     
  11. Anna Marie

    Anna Marie Well-Known Member

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    like the ideas girls..

    I too have so much lingerie but I never get to show it.. I used to sell lingerie when I lived in NY so became an addict and thankfully 10 years on I can still fit into most of it but getting him to see it is tough.... he never sees me in the am as I am out dog walking / jogging immediately and by time I get back he has gone to work.. and I get home before him in eve and am out in my dog-walking clothes again before he even gets inside the door to say hello... mmm I think if I suddenly came downstairs in full lacy regalia he would have a heart attack.. !! But on a weekend away in B&B / hotel.. away from the animals and the daily routine I love to wear it all and parade around hotel rooms leaving it all over the place...hhmm definitely need to book that w/e away again soon!!

    My OH is getting the hang of the charts but as he is beginning to feel like the "sperm donor" I am trying to uninvolve him again so he doesn't think there is always an alterior motive to my seduction. Its not as if I don't want to BD but when its that time of the month I have other reasons too.. is that so wrong??? He wants it to be about us wanting each other but reality is that there is an underlying reason as well... why is that wrong.. I think he is being a bit oversensitive but maybe cos we haven't really been trying like this for long.. only second cycle of charting and paying attention to details.. the other night over dinner he suddenly asked me what CM meant and when I told him he freaked out and spat out his dinner.. ho hum.. he said he wish he hadn't asked..!!

    I think I will have to go back to pretending I am not trying and hide all my charts etc.. that way at least he will be more relaxed!
     
  12. Dippy

    Dippy Well-Known Member

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    I am one for wearing my pjs and dressing gown - definitely NOT sexy, so it's as well oh fancies me regardless!!

    Your post definitely struck home with me Anna Marie - last month we really struggled with the spontineity of bd, I kept thinking "I wonder if this will be it" whist holding my legs in the air and it doesn't do much for the post love-making cuddle does it?! OH hasn't said anything about being a sperm donor yet, but I can see it in his face sometimes, he doesn't want to upset me (which he would in saying that) so he keeps quiet, but he does admit that he feels under pressure to perform. If you think keeping your charts and cycles for yourself would take the pressure off him do that, you will probably find he wants to know when you don't tell him!! Anyway marathon session starts tonight, could be a tiring week, hope it's worth it?!
     
  13. hayley

    hayley Well-Known Member

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    Hi Ladies

    Well i went underwear shopping on sunday. Had a little look in ann summers but couldn't afford anything! after buying a new car, putting the deposit down on my insurance and paying for a whole new hair style with a full head of foils.. i was pretty skint! I went to TK Max.... i always find something when i go in there.... wheither it's shoes, PJ's, smellies or something for the house! anyway.. i got a lovely black lace baby doll.. not tacky or cheap looking... it's lace, see thru, has black rose buds all over the cups and comes with black lace knickers... again with little black rose buds across the bum! only £10... what a bargain.... it was well worth the ten pounds...... say no more!

    Unfortunately it's not my fertile time but practice makes perfect.....

    Tankett your reply made me laugh....

    Good luck ladies turning your blokes on!!!!!

    x
     

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