our journey to conceive

[puds]

good luck, hope you get some answers soon. We have been trying 8 months and my cycles have been long and irregular and it already seems like forever. you've made the right decision to do something about it. sometimes the feeling that your doing something can kick your body in to working!!! you have made some very mature decisions and i just hope you get some positive news soon.
xx

 

[suzie1011]

Thanks puds and Lou. I went with OH to the doctors friday, and he was very good. he has to take a sample into the hospital on wednesday and wants me to go too. ive already got time off work for my bloodtests that day. he wants me to take the day off- what do i say to my boss?!! anyway, he's been great and we are feeling like a team again. His doctor said that we are not allowed to have sex for 5 days before hand. TRUST ME, abstinance does not make the heart grow fonder! lol before we went to the doctors he made me cry (in a good way) he said even if things dont work out he said, "you know i will stand by you no matter what- and im happy for us to start trying to adopt or any other way of getting a baby that you want to try" awww bless him. anyway he will get his results instantly so i will try and post again on wednesday

 

[Cyprus08]

Just wanted to wish you and your OH lots of luck on your brave journey.

My brother and his wife were in the same position as you just before christmas. They had been TTC for 18 months and finally went to see the GP. My sister in Law had just had all her bloods done and my brother had just had his sperm count (showing borderline low) and were waiting for their appointment with a fertility specialist. Anyway, as they were waiting for all these appointments, thinking they would need help, they went on holiday and for the first time in 18 months they stopped thinking about TTC naturally. She came back from that holiday pregnant

Ive read an awful lot of similar stories on here since joining and I sincerely hope that you will add to them. Stay positive hun.

xxxxxx

 

[suzie1011]

i hope so too.
went to the hospital yesterday so OH could do his thing. i then went and had my bloods done...again. they got it this time. we should get the results tomorrow afternoon.

 

[LouF]

Hi Suzie, good luck for tomorrows results. Keep us updated x x x

 

[suzie1011]

just a few hours to go to get the results. prob cant update til sunday though. i'm getting really nervous now, my chest is tight and im stressing myself out. just trying really hard to relax. willl let you know though

 

[suzie1011]

i've got my blood results back....all clear. just waiting for OH's results which we should get this afternoon.
in a way i kind of hoped my bloods would show something because then we could do something about it. OH pointed out that we may now be looking towards IVF...which neither of us feel ready for yet because we are still young. im not even sure if they do it on people our age. we're talked about adoption and decdied it is an option but we both have to be over 25, so thats at least 4 years away.

i'll just wait for rob's results. if they are clear then i need more tests done. they might do more for me anyway. I'm going to see my doctor this afternoon for a 'chat' about the results.

will update tomorrow xx

 

[LouF]

Hi Suzie, let us know how the chat goes this afternoon and it may be that OH gets good results too

Good luck hun x x x

 

[SpaceAngel]

Good Luck x

 

[suzie1011]

thanks for the good luck wishes guys. but it wasnt good news.

Rob has low fertility. its not impossible for us to concieve naturally, but not likely
we are both totally heartbroken. looks like we wont get our baby anytime soon, we've got 2 years at least until we qualify for IVF. i just cant stop crying, Rob feels really guilty and has even suggested a sperm donor, but i dont want a baby thats not ours. it just doesnt seem right to me. the docs are gonna do more tests on me to make sure its just him and not both of us with fertility problems.
our world seems empty at the moment. its clear our relationship is missing something and we both know what.

thanks for your support guys x

 

[emmab1150]

Aww thanks Lou, I'd love to. Theres only so much i can tell OH without upsetting him/getting on his nerves lol. I've got my doctors appointment for tomorrow afternoon after i finish work so i will let you all know how i get on.

I just want to say thank you to everybody who has posted on here. thank you so much for all your love and support, i sat here reading it with tears in my eyes nodding along to everything that was said.

Hannah- congratualtions. you're an inspiration, its good to know that happy endings exist

Space Angel- no money means no weekends away but its a nice thought. we started on this journey by just 'forgetting' to use contraception and see what happens, we did that for 6 months (and if im honest on and off in the 4 months before we officially started trying), but im sure once things get going we will both relax and nature can take its course.

Lou- i feel the same, most of my friends have kids and i love them so much, but sometimes wonder why can't it be me?

Donna- the reason i didnt go sooner is because if im honest im really scared. obviously i hope for the best, but there is still that worry i will hear the thing i really dont want to hear.

Suzie- Thank you hun, i will bear that in mind. we will have to catch up for a natter again soon. it really does mean alot to me that you would be there for me. we are still young which is why we want to get the ball rolling now (ideally we want 3 or 4 )

and thank you to everyone else who wished me luck. i will update tomorrow

love to you all
xxxxxxx

Hi there I am new to the site. Have just read your story and all ny best wishes go out to you......stay safe and know that there are lots of people here to talk to.

 

[shellbham]

Hi suzie

I have just seen your update and want to give you a . Are the doctors going to arrange another sperm test? You should not rely on just one result as sperm quality and quantity can change all the time and there are a lot of factors that can affect the result. Even something like a cold a few months before the test can affect the quality. Unfortunately, that wasn't the case with us, but you never know and while there is still hope i think you should definitely ask for another sperm test. You need to leave it at least 3 months as that is how long it takes for the new sperm to be produced and to mature.

I really hope that the test was just a one off, done on a bad day and you get some better news soon.

I'm here to talk if you need to.....i've been through all this myself and know exactly how heartbreaking it is to get this kind of news.

Michelle x

 

[SpaceAngel]

I am really sorry to hear your sad news. I hope that you don't have to wait too long for IVF. Is there a possibility that you could go private and reduce the cost by egg sharing?

 

[LouF]

Hi Suzie ,

sorry about the results hun, how bad is it ? Have they given any advice about about improving his count? When my OH had his first low count I got him on vits and mins that our local pharmacy man recomended would help and when he had second test the result was normal. Also the drs said his first test got too cold as we didn't read the leaflet about doing the test properly and I put it in my hand bag not pocket with body heat etc.

2yrs is a long wait hun and I am so sorry if you have to wait that long x x x x We go on the 12th for our 1st app with fertility clinic and I am feeling a bit the same hun, I don't want to go down this route thought we could have a baby on our own but it seems not.

We are in this with you Suzie if you know what I mean so if you need to talk I'm always about x x x
You can PM me if you want x x x x x

 

[suzie1011]

oh my god, you guys are the sweetest people! im in tears again..but they're happier ones. its pretty bad because its low sperm count, low mobility and they are dying quickly. it's gonna take a hell of alot to persuade him to do that again, not only did he nearly back out god knows how many times but he was in a foul mood with me for days after for 'making' him do it.
i also put it in my handbag rather than my pocket...we didnt get a leaflet. in fact we got barely any info at all

 

[suzie1011]

I am really sorry to hear your sad news. I hope that you don't have to wait too long for IVF. Is there a possibility that you could go private and reduce the cost by egg sharing?

i hadnt really thought about the cost. i know we are entitled to one free round of IVF on the NHS, and i naively thought it would work first time for us. i dont know what egg sharing is, i heard something about it on the radio but dont understand it. do the same age restrictions apply when you go private. my OH is 22, he'll be 23 in december, and i'll be 21 in just over a week. if the age limit is 23 then thats still 2 years to wait

 

[Jaded Diamond]

hey hun.
i just wanted to say when DH did his first sperm sample the results that came back weren't brilliant, so he started taking iron tablets and folic acid and they did a repeat test about 6 months later, and that time after he'd done his "thing" he kept it under his armpit until he could hand it in (i have no idea where i read that but i heard it can help) and the results that time were significantly better.
Never let go of your hope.
xx

 

[LouF]

Pm'ed you hun x x

 

[shellbham]

Hi Suzie

If you put the sample in your bag then this could definitely have affected the result. Sperm needs to be kept at body temperature otherwise it starts to die. We were also told we had to get it to the hospital in half an hour. I think he definitely needs to have another test done. My DH hated it at first but he's had to do it that many times now it doesn't bother him. Plus, you may find out there isn't a problem after all.

Egg sharing means you split the amount of eggs they collect when you have IVF with someone who needs an egg donor. In return you get cheaper IVF. Some places only charge you the cost of your drugs and then the extra charge for ICSI. I wanted to do this at my clinic, but couldn't because of the way i responded to the drugs on my 1st cycle. It is certainly a consideration if you want to try to go private.

Michelle x

 

[SpaceAngel]

If you put the sample in your handbag, then no wonder it was a bad result I can't believe they didn't give you a leaflet. It may be that his sperm count is fine, but it will be worthwhile getting him on some vits and minerals. Also, is he a smoker? Or drinker? Those can all affect sperm count. Do you think you could persuade him to do another?