Another bloody MIL rant

[tuck]

Think we should have a new forum for MIL's

My MIL works during the summer season, her hours are 1pm-9pm, fair enough she dosnt see much of Matilda during the summer but she expects my hubbie to pick her up every night (this is 7 days a week from May-beginning Oct), which fair enough he does, BUT she then gets him to bring her round here, she then sits here for an hour, hour and a half hoping that Matilda will wake up???????, she keeps going into bedroom to have a look and it's doing my fookin head in!
The evenings are the only time i get to catch up on my emails etc, browse the forum and i feel guilty if i dont sit and chat to her, she's here now, yawning her head off, it also means hubby has to go out again to take her to her house!!!!
she also INFORMED me yesterday that she wont be working next summer, she's going to look after Matilda while I work - WTF,
we havent even discussed between ourselves NEXT year and theres no way she's gonna have her as Matilda would be stuck indoors ALL day, would not be taken out, to the beach, etc etc, basically my daughter wouldnt have a summer, i'm not stressing bout that at mo as who knows what will happen then, I'm jus pissed off that she comes round EVERY fookin nite and DH sees nothing wrong with it
rant over

 

[Becky]

I'm not surprised you're pee'd off I would be too! You need some time to yourself! Is there anyway you can just get your OH to not bring her round every night??

As for the not working thing - what goes on in their heads?? My MIL has not been so direct (let her try) but she keeps dropping hints that she'll be retired and can "help out" with baby and Lucy and then goes on about how long a school day is for little ones if they're in all day (breakfast club and afterschool club) when OH and I haven't even thought about what's happening next year.

She seems to think I should either be going part time (why not her darling son I ask) or that she should become a regular carer for my children.

All I can say is to agree something with your OH and when she says something about when you go back to work just say "thanks but we've already planned to do x" and get your OH to back you up too.

MIL's seem to all go to the same "how to piss off your DIL" school!

 

[tuck]

dont get me started!!!!!! i think it's worse cause my family are all in UK, so i dont have any other 'back up', if you know what i mean, plus all her friends practically bring their grandkids up while the mothers are all swanning around having 'coffee' wiv their mates so I think she feels 'left out' , she also gets really weird and jealous when my family come for their 2 week hols in summer!!!!!
and as for Matilda's christening in August, she maoned cause she'll have to take a day off, why cant we have it in October??? - WELL for the simple reason that none of my family would be able to bloody come then

she's knackered after looking after Matilda for a couple of hours so there's NO WAY i will leave her there ALL day, trouble is there's only seasonal work and it's for 6 months working a 7 day week . I did tell her I may consider working part time, but if DH has enough work to keep us going then i wont work. she did not look amused - tough!, oh she's gone now, think she saw my face when she walked in

 

[dannii87]

Ah Lordy!! I'm so glad I have no MIL to put up with! My exes Mum was a horrid thing and would have played havoc in our lives! (Well, she tried to anyway but once her darling son left me I got rid of her from my life too which was a bonus! ).

Is there any way that once a fortnight you could pop over to hers with Matilda and spend the day over there or something to "save her coming to you"?

I think I would get to the point where I would burst and EVERYTHING would come pouring out! Don't let it get to that stage! I'd probably sit down with your OH and tell him it's draining for you and you won't have her round every evening from now on.

..Regarding your MIL "assuming" that she'll have your daughter next year I'd mention a few times to her that you're really looking forward to Matilda being in a nursery next summer (or whatever you're thinking of doing) and make it clear that she won't be having her etc because as much as she shouldn't assume these things, she might be really looking forward to it and it would be sad for her to get her hopes up if that makes sense?

Good luck though, you're probably having to entertain her as I type this xx

 

[Vickyleigh]

I know just how you feel

I hate my stupid MIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
She lives a 4 hour drive from us yet she still manages to take over!

When ever she comes over for a visit she rolls her sleeves
up and starts cleaning up the house when I have already done it!!!!!
Yesterday I found out that a month ago she and Damo (OH)
went to a bank to open Summers trust fund accound BEHIND MY BACK!
They couldn't do it as I had the voucher but she still went
behind my back!

I am in the middle of arranging Summers christening and she told
Damo that she was going to email me to ask if she could invite
Damos uncle to the christening.
That was 5 days ago and still no email but yesterday when he got off
the phone to her he told me that she has invited20 family members
with out asking me first!!!!!!!!
I didn't want loads of people there but once again she went behind my back and did it anyway!

 

[mamichuli]

oh, how I do sympathise...you need hugs I am afraid mediterranean mils are a plague..I know from ex - perience if you know what I mean - my ex was spanish. Bad pun, I know.
thing is you need to put your foot down, but hard to do with hubby without giving the distinct impression that you dislike his mum SO, explain that you feel that you need more privacy and that if HE doesnt speak to his mum about not coming around every evening YOU will - do this with a smile and suggest she comes around once a week - and maybe you could visit HER once a week at work? I Know that will be a chore, but it might be the way around the prob and better twice a week than every day

I told my ex to do just this as my MIL was doing this every day when my eldest was born. The tactic worked. She was allowed around on Saturday afternoons and i would visit her once a week, which I hated, but it was a solution...----hope this helps.

Lisa

 

[Strangeness]

God what a nightmare! I'd defo put my foot down about her turning up every night at 9pm! My mil is a nightmare too and burdens herself on people because she basically has no life! Me and and her don't get on and we haven't seen each other or spoken for abour 2 and half years. She said awful things about me and even slags off her own children including my husband. Her and my hubby are now talking and she basically told him a few weeks ago she was coming over on a friday night at 7pm. I put my foot down, I haven't spoken to this woman for years so why would I want her sat in my house? Aaron is in bed by 7.30 so at 7 I'm bathing and getting him ready for bed or washing up not making her cups of tea and talking crap with her because her husband is too busy at the pub to spend any time with her. Makes me so angry how they feel they can just turn up and interfer when they feel like it!

Seriously though, tell your dh not to bring her round every night after work when the baby is asleep and you're trying to wind down from a day's mummy duties.

 

[tuck]

she has now started coming round EVERY morning, only for 10 mins on her way to work (her husband drops her during the day to work), then the last couple of nights it has got to 9.30pm, no sign of her, no call for hubby to get her so thought - YAAAAAY , HUH - short lived she now gets her friend to drop her round here, which is about 10ish (she finishes work at 9) and then expects hubby to take her home - why dosnt she get her friggin friend to take her home????
last night, no phone call by 9pm so hubby popped out for an hour, Matilda didnt go down til 9.30, I'd jus sat down with a sarni and cuppa (it's 10.15pm) and she walks through the bloody door and then wonders and asks where hubby is????? - sorry but it's driving me friggin mad. If i say anyfin it's taken that I dont like her.
I'm going out tomorrow morning, even if it's just to hide up the road and see what reaction there is when I'm not in

 

[bobtheunfortunateone]

she needs to back off, I say!

Just say that you want your daughter to go to nursery to mix with other babies and help with socialising. And tell your partner that she should only come over maybe every othernight so you get time to relax.

Does your partner see nothing wrong with this? It would do my head in I take it she lives on her own?

 

[Fiona]

I can't imagine how you have put up with this for so long...

What does your OH think ? Does he undersand how the siutation is making you feel ? Would he be able to have a chat with his mum about it or would that be out of the question.

I think for your own sanity your MIL needs to know that evenings are for you and your OH to spend time together and that she can have her time with you all as a family but not every evening !!!

Good luck

 

[hennaly]

my monster in law is no exception to the MILS from hell forum