Mil...

[becks20]

Anyone got a MIL that plans to come round every day once baby is born??

When i first got pregnant i didnt really think that my OH`s mum would be the way she is planning to be. My SIL has just had a baby and she went round every day for about 3/4days. And shes told me that she wants to come round for cuddles with my baby when he`s born and she wants to change his nappy etc.
I like to be left to myself when i have a baby, i no my mum would love it if she could come round every day to see the baby as she was such a big part in my daughters life but living an hour away i no my mum will prob come round to see the baby but she wouldnt ask to change his nappy or anything unless i asked for her to.

I told my OH i dont want people coming round every day, (i breastfeed on demand and if my sons anything like my daughter he will be on my boob for most of the day!) and he said "yea but your mum would come round everyday if she could"

How am i gonna tell her that i dont want her to come round if she rings me everyday to come round?! Im prob just over reacting x

 

[karenandbump]

U just be honest hon. U want time to bond with new baby yourself and for your little one to get used to the changes. I let people visit with a new one but every day is a no - I think just tell her that you want her involved but you need some space at first which you are surte she'll understand....

 

[x_MrsE_x]

I had the same problem with my first, when i was in hospital my ex's mum and dad was always there and a few times i had to ask them to leave so some of my family could visit, then when i went home, i was living at my mums at the time so dont think it helped, but they were there everyday for 2 whole weeks, it drove me mad but i made sure they knew that they couldnt pick her up or see to her till i said it was ok, then when i had the 2nd i put my foot down before i had her and said i dont want them there everyday and they were ok with it, i think you just need to tell her that she can visit but everyday is to much.

 

[becks20]

Thanks! Ill try, i live in a flat that no1 can get in unless i let them in the door downstairs so if she comes round and iv said no then i wouldnt let her in. But my OH will want his mum round as he lost his dad a couple years ago so he trys to keep close to his mum. Just dont want it to end up that me and him argue because of it. x

 

[frankie707]

I'm worried that my MIL might be like this too. I think you just need to tell her early what limits you would like on her visiting so she has time to accept it before LO is here. I think everyday is definitely too much.

 

[MrsR]

Have you spoken to your OH about this? I think that you should both be on the same page so it's not a big shock to him when you speak to his mum x I think it's unacceptable for anyone to expect to come round to a new mum/baby's house every day! x I think you should go round with your OH to speak to her and maybe arrange specific days in the week she could come round x x good luck babe

 

[Piglet10]

both my mum and mil were like this and my dad is worse than both he thinks madison is his but i love it. she is my daughter and always will be so i love the fact that everyone loves her and wants their own bond with her. the way i look at it is she will have loads of people to turn to when she needs them.

i do think u need to be honest tho if ur not comfortable with it i wud take her for a coffee and pretend your mum wants to be there every day and explain to her that there is no way you would want someone there every day other than u and ur partner?? thatll make it sound not biased but because ur talking about someone else shellhopefully let u explain and not get offended. thats what i wud do anyway xx

 

[Rosie's Mummy]

When I had Rosie my MIL and FIL were in the recovery room with me; they came straight to the hospital!!!!! I had had an emergency C-section! They actually held her more than I did in the first few hours of her life; thinking back this was so wrong. This time I am not allowing any visitors in the hospital as last time I had BIL, SIL, niece and nephew aswell - I will also be putting a notice on my front door saying 'MOTHER AND NEW BABY SLEEPING - DO NOT DISTURB' phone will be unplugged too and visits under strict arrangement only! Its the only way!

 

[scaredmum2be]

the only reason my MIL has been coming round more often is because im pregnant. has never really bothered seeing there son which really annoys us, i dont mind them coming round say a week after babys home cos ive got the feeling i might have to stay in hospital with little man because with being my first. i dont want the babys nappy changing only by me and OH ive told other half im scared i wont be able to bond with this baby because of his MIL and he said no visitors can come round unless were ready. although My dads wife has said can she come to the hospital after ive had the baby like ie give them a ring its like wtf lol,!! i am terrifed that i cant bond with my own little man inside my tummy now let alone wen hes born.
I just hope my MIL will learn to back off cos i aint going to want ne other people coming round when ive only just got through the door. xx

 

[Zazu]

Definately be honest now, explain to your OH how you feel and get him to tell her. It is your time to bond with your baby and up to you who you want with you. I would go crazy if my MIL was round every day!

 

[CatBana]

I agree, nip it in the bud, don't feel bad about asserting yourself, this is YOUR child, you decide what the deal is and when people can come over. Love the sign idea, and if they chose not to repsect your decision and decide to pester you don't answer the phone or the door!

 

[Chellybaby88]

You have to tell her how you feel. Just tell her that you don't want to have visitors everyday and would like some time with baby on your own so you can rest and bond. I know when i had DD i had 12 people in the hospital to visit me and i was exhausted because of it. When i got home i put my foot down and i would only see OH's family twice a week (i lived with my family). I just explained that i thought it was quite selfish if they didnt listen to my needs because it was my body and my baby and i would need lost of rest and alone time. They seemed to understand and i only think its because i told them before hand and was honest with them that things ran so smoothly.

As for the comment from your OH, you could say that your mum wouldnt visit everyday if you told ehr not to so you expect the same from his mum.
x