Angry Mother (Rant!)

[MaybeAFlumpx]

and youve been on it since you were 17 and your 21 now how long you been smoking for sure if the 'medical' things that could happen would happen already.

Thanks Ladies .

Ive been smoking and drinking since i was 14, and thats even before i considered going on the pill, in a way i do resent my mother for making me start the damn thing but what can you do with a very paranoid mother?.

The only reason she made me start it is because i had a boyfriend at the time and she was worried since there was a load of teenage girls in my area at my age that would go out and get pregnant, and my mother thought id be one of those (Daft i know..Since at the time i hated kids).

I dunno, so much crap over something so trivial as a pill!

 

[emmaandamyleigh]

but its right though shes only protecting your mother is sensible and that you shouldnt knock her for. shes done things for your own good so you dont turn out like them in your area and its best really so if youve been drink since you were 14 and taking pill since 17 do you not think that blood clots would of happened if its what your read some people right stuff to scare other people or say stuff. you probably do have a good future ahead of you i think your mum is just looking out for whats best for you yeah maybe over protective but you do live in her house i assume and she probs thinks how can you both afford it and stuff

 

[emmaandamyleigh]

she also probs dont want you to make the same mistakes she made if she had you and your bro at a young age which you also need to see her points to

 

[MaybeAFlumpx]

she also probs dont want you to make the same mistakes she made if she had you and your bro at a young age which you also need to see her points to

Well, she was married by the time she was 23 and my dad was 21, had my brother 2 years later when she was 25 and then she had me when she was 28..And a miscarriage between my brother and me. ..So she was fairly young when she started out.

 

[Froslass]

and youve been on it since you were 17 and your 21 now how long you been smoking for sure if the 'medical' things that could happen would happen already.

Thanks Ladies .

Ive been smoking and drinking since i was 14, and thats even before i considered going on the pill, in a way i do resent my mother for making me start the damn thing but what can you do with a very paranoid mother?.

The only reason she made me start it is because i had a boyfriend at the time and she was worried since there was a load of teenage girls in my area at my age that would go out and get pregnant, and my mother thought id be one of those (Daft i know..Since at the time i hated kids).

I dunno, so much crap over something so trivial as a pill!

I do totally understand where you're coming from though chick

It's totally frustrating having your mum tell you what to do, but I think she's just trying to look out for you x

I'm not sure she's mad about the pill, probably about the consequences of coming off the pill.

I know you're trying for a baby, but why don't you talk to your OH and ask him if he thinks maybe you should try and get a place first? If you and your mum argue now, when your pregnant and all hormonal it's not really good for you or baby x

I really wish I had my own place right now, I'm desperate to buy stuff for baby but my room is too small and I'd have nowhere to put it! x Hope we get our wee house soon! x

 

[Froslass]

she also probs dont want you to make the same mistakes she made if she had you and your bro at a young age which you also need to see her points to

Well, she was married by the time she was 23 and my dad was 21, had my brother 2 years later when she was 25 and then she had me when she was 28..And a miscarriage between my brother and me. ..So she was fairly young when she started out.

I think what emmaandamyleigh was trying to say was that your mum probably just doesn't want you to struggle

Age doesn't really matter (I think) if you're ready to be a parent. Some women are ready younger, and some older. But "ready" doesn't just mean ready emotionally. If you're still living with your mum, it's not fair or yourself, your fiance, your mum or your child to get pregnant until you can support yourself x

I'm really not trying to be judgmental or anything, as I can only comment on the info you've given us. If you have the means and the finances to move out and support yourself I would strongly urge you do that chick x

 

[pinkymum]

If you're worried about the health implications wouldn't it make more sense to try quitting the drink and fags before coming off the pill? Once you give them up, you could come off the pill and try for baby? And also think about trying to live independently first. X

 

[leanne1b]

I don't know maybe it's just me, but it seems one of the big reasons for having a baby is u want to come off the pill because of health implications. And I get where ur coming from. My gp told me to come off the pill for the same reason, and I have breast cancer in my family.
But, y not just use other contraception? X

 

[MaybeAFlumpx]

I don't know maybe it's just me, but it seems one of the big reasons for having a baby is u want to come off the pill because of health implications. And I get where ur coming from. My gp told me to come off the pill for the same reason, and I have breast cancer in my family.
But, y not just use other contraception? X

Well, ive tried suggesting that to her but shes having none of it. Ive been on 2 different pills so far, i had Yasmin to start with but had to give that up because it made my periods irregular, then i moved onto Microgynon. Its hard for me to find pills to suit me because i have asthma!.

Ive tried quitting smoking but its just so hard as i cant have the nicotine patches, i break out in a massive rash so i think im allergic to them and the gum tastes like crap..But the drinkings not a problem i can give that up or cut down at least..Life would be hell without barcardi and coke!

 

[emmaandamyleigh]

theres not just patches and gums out there there is a device they have made its got nicotine and you smoke it like a real tab not lighting it lol you suck its like a nicotine inhaler you hold it as if you were having a tab and they last for hours didnt know the pill can affect asthma my sister has it on shes on the pill in fact she tryed most of them as he docs only allow them to be on them for a certin amout of months then change them and none of them have bothered her she has really bad asthma too shes also had the implant in while having a break from pills and also injections too even thou shes doing all this he still uses condoms plus there is also the morning after pill. i know some people still live with the parents and be pregnant but i also think its best if you got your slef somewhere to live then you have the room to buy the stuff for baby if you did get pregnant and and have your own space too im sure your mum would of been like this with your bro to warning him to wear protection or check is GF is on the pill you really need to talk to your mum bout it the thing is you sed youd move out to your bf mums house but do you think it would be really fair on his mum as i read in your ttc jornal that she has atzeimers do you think a new born would very good in her home as shes not a well woman baby crying could stress her out and make her worse it wouldnt be fair on her i dunno if you were joking about her having it but atzeimers is a serious you wouldnt be able to leave baby with her as its dementia and shell not always remember things either can you afford to live independantly with you OH?

 

[cosmicgirl]

I'd be more worried about what smoking with asthma is doing to my health, rather than the pill.

 

[MrsR]

I'm sorry but you sound very immature. I don't mean to be nasty but that's the way you come across. I'd be much much more worried about the smoking and drinking than the pill. So what if the gum 'tastes like crap'? It's better than smoking. Especially with asthma. And if life is 'hell' without a Bacardi and coke then what would you do for 9 months whilst if you fell pg. It sounds like you have an awful lot to sort out before you even consider having a baby.

 

[leanne1b]

Also there are many ways to quit, patches, inhalator, nasal spray, tablets etc x

 

[HeppiBean]

I would definietely say that quitting smoking and at least cutting down on the drink should be your top priority right now! But I know what you mean about your mum. I went through pretty much the same thing when I told my Mum I was pregnant, only I don't live at home, I have a flat with my fiance and we weren't planning on a baby... It just happened, but we are over the moon

Anyway... Unless you can honestly, hand on heart(!), say that if you found out you were pregnant tomorrow you could stop smoking and stop drinking and start thinking as a parent rather than the way you are now... Then I personally don't think you should be trying... I'm only 18 but am honestly slightly concerned about your immature attitude towards s&d... Much bigger health concerns, especially with asthma(!), than the pill! I was smoking heavily when I found out I was pregnant, and within 1 week I had given up and I haven't touched one since... I'm proud of myself for that but do you think you could do the same??

As for drinking, I was never much of a drinker anyway... I'd go out once in a blue moon and even then would be on cokes most of the time, I just HATE being drunk... But I confess that in the (almost) 22 weeks I've been pregnant I've had 3 glasses of wine. No more, no less...

Just think about it... Your health is very important, especially when you have to think for a baby aswell!!

And I agree with the other girls about your living situation... You should definitely try living independantly before trying for a baby, cause if you find you can't quite cope independantly with just you and OH yet, how will you cope with a baby on the scene? And I know my Mum would have flipped and forced an abortion on me if I'd have fallen pregnant under her roof! As it is now I think the only reason she has just left us alone is because we have our own place so she doesn't actually have to have anything to do with it... She's still ashamed of me and is overly opinionated in my opinion but at least she isn't in the middle of it...

 

[emmaandamyleigh]

i just dunno what to make of this thread really dont really want to upset you if you deffo are a real person but in some ways you wrote replies back you really sound like attetion seeking you drink and smoke but yet you have asthma yet your trying for a baby. your tempted to move in to your OH mum who is ill if your mum carries on they way she is. like the other girls say it best to try and live as a couple together or you on your own if OH is looking after his mum to see how you will cope looking after yourself be able to manage money and bills before you actually get pregnant. you really need to sort yourself out b4 you think of having a baby there is alot of responsibilties with babies yeah you might be ready for one now but when it happens itll be a different story you cant drink well you can but very small amounts on the odd occasion smoking you could try cutting down each week from now then when baby is here you wont have time to go out, itll be harder to see friends your responsibiltys go from one to 2 youll have make sure you have everything for baby each week then theres the lack of sleep if baby doesnt sleep through out the night getting up and feeding it, the amount of washing baby generates. theres alot of things you need to change and think about b4 you have a child. and for ever tidying when baby gets older to lol even getting pregnant now and getting a place will be hard especially off the council it could take a while and going private most ask for bond and rent in advance and then some also ask for admin fees

 

[Kezzamunster]

To be completely honest, I think your being totally selfish. I just get the impression you don't seem prepared to change anything & expect everyone else to change things because you want a baby

I've been with my fiancé for 13 years, been living together for 2 years & we still struggle within our relationship now. We put TTC on hold for a few years so we can get sorted financially, as he is getting promoted in June, paying debts off this year, paying for our wedding next year & then spend 2/3 years saving so I don't have to go back to work & we can survive on one wage for a few years. We've already set up a savings account, like a trust fund for future baby Jennings & I've prepared numerous lists of things we will need

As much as I would love & want to have a baby now, it just wouldn't be fair in any way

Sorry if I'm sounding harsh but you really need to do some proper thinking first

 

[MrsR]

I have to agree with the selfish thing. Everything we've suggested to help you out you've had a pathetic 'reason' why you can't do it. If you actually wanted a child then you'd do everything you could, no matter what, to sort things out before having one-not make excuses.

 

[pinkymum]

I have to agree with the selfish thing. Everything we've suggested to help you out you've had a pathetic 'reason' why you can't do it. If you actually wanted a child then you'd do everything you could, no matter what, to sort things out before having one-not make excuses.

Also have to agree with this! If you are actually planning on having a baby you do need to change your lifestyle, or be willing to make some changes. There is never a perfect time and accidents happen. But actually consciously planning but not being willing to make some changed is selfish. I'm far from perfect, but I had to wait to try for a baby because of my mental health. I had to make huge lifestyle changes. I understand that real desire to want a baby, I remember when I was 25 and all I wanted was a baby but it would have been very selfish of me and I'm so glad I didn't start trying. Why don't you start making plans and try to change somethings, learn to live independently before trying for a baby. I guarantee it'll he better in the long run!

 

[Froslass]

To be completely honest, I think your being totally selfish. I just get the impression you don't seem prepared to change anything & expect everyone else to change things because you want a baby

I've been with my fiancé for 13 years, been living together for 2 years & we still struggle within our relationship now. We put TTC on hold for a few years so we can get sorted financially, as he is getting promoted in June, paying debts off this year, paying for our wedding next year & then spend 2/3 years saving so I don't have to go back to work & we can survive on one wage for a few years. We've already set up a savings account, like a trust fund for future baby Jennings & I've prepared numerous lists of things we will need

As much as I would love & want to have a baby now, it just wouldn't be fair in any way

Sorry if I'm sounding harsh but you really need to do some proper thinking first

This is very VERY good advice.

This is exactly what I was trying to say, but I'm not very good at it!

OH and I have been together 5 years, and the thought or a baby is still very scary! I wish we were prepared, because It's NOT NICE knowing you're bringing a child into the world knowing that you might not be able to give it everything it needs/wants.
If you love your OH, and your future baby, please PLEASE think about what you're doing!! It's very hard living apart from the person you love (no matter the situation) when you're pregnant. You want to get things sorted and get things ready to start your life together.
It's not really fair on your OH either.

 

[leanne1b]

I don't think this is a real person x