And then there were 2 :)

[misscrazycooki]

Thanks ladies, they have given us £200 to last us while 18th October, its better than a kick in the teeth and dad said he would help if i needed him to and also my mates said she would so at least we have people to fall back on in case its not enough, should be ok if we budget it well!

And yes Daisy, hopefully the bill will be paid for us fingers crossed, would be such a huge help atm! Dont think Lexi will sleep well again tonight as shes been asleep most of the day only waking for a feed, been walking from 8:30am until 1:30pm i ache in places i never thought possible haha!!

xx

Did you ring healthy start hun so you will get free milk tokens x

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[deedee84]

No not yet, i've been out most of the day sorting shiz out! aching like a bitch now, i'm aching in places i never thought possible haha! set off at 8:30am this morning for the school run and sat down for all of an hour between then and 1:30pm, proper trek up to mums and then dads, i was cream crackered lol!

xx

 

[deedee84]

Elexis slept away most of yesterday, she spent 3 1/2 hours awake in 11 hours, thats how much she slept not surprising really, we were out and about in the pram until nearly 2pm, that was from 8:30am! Very long day! So tbh i really didnt expect her to sleep very well last night, but she did ok!
She fell asleep at 8:50pm and once again come 9:30pm i took us up to bed, she was stirring as i carried her up and put her in her cot but i avoided feeding her this time! She woke for her first feed at 12:50am so had a nice long stint, she then woke at 3am and 4:25am and lastly 6:30am, wasnt the best night in the world but was a lot better than what i was expecting

OH's latest wage slip should be arriving recorded delivery today so we can finally send off one of the forms and get some extra pennies sorted out to help us! Just getting so frustrated as the girls are extremely short on winter clothes, Lexi is short on clothes full stop, OH said to get them some when he gets his next pay but its like i told him we have Christmas fast approaching and they need xmas presents and what not as well! Dont know how we will afford it this year, so much to do and not enough money to do it with, doesnt help that Elise is going through white school tops like theres no tomorrow, bought 4 for the start of term and 3 of them are stained already fedup.com!

xx

 

[misscrazycooki]

I know hun the shit has hit the fan for both of us lately. I hope your benefits gets sorted out quickly hun once they up you will soon catch up x

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[deedee84]

so flaming upset! Been down to the brothers earlier to drop his fiancee's birthday card in! He pipes up "how you affording to go out at the weekend?" so i explained that i have nice friends and they are paying me out and then said that i'm taking £20 with me just in case i need it for any reason! Then his gf pipes up "oh your mums been today, apparently tonys been kicking off about that £100 you owe him!" which pissed me off as he knows our situation! Then my brother pipes up "yeah i dont blame him, and i've had to lend mum £40 for shopping because you havent given her her money back !" seriously do they expect us to magic money up! get it outta thin air!!! So i had a do with my brother, got home and just cried as i feel like everyones just having a go and its funny how its those that have never been in this postition! Sent mum a message saying she can tell tony i will sell the laptop so he can have his chuffin money back! Then shes been going on about how he blames my OH for been on sick and that he should work through it blah blah blah, obviously he doesnt understand OH's mental illness neither does anyone else that has a fecking dig! Absolutely fed up of the money situation and then people just make matters worse, feel like i'm something on the bottom of their shoe, like an outcast, just wanna say FU to them all and hide away with my little family, not rely on no one no more and struggle t get by instead! Dont think people realise OH has tried to take his life on several occasions because of his illness yet people judge him without knowing everything making him feel a million times worse, we just dont need the friggin hassle! Sick of been upset and down all the time because of other people and money!

xx

 

[Daisy2011]

Your Brother sucks! So sorry that things are tough at the moment. Its so hard to cope as not only is there the money and the worries not having brings but thees other peoples uninvited opinions as well.
You cant pay money back if you havent got any.
Its like people really think that there are great and easy to find jobs out there with limitless childcare and time off and paid sick leave. I think only people who have been there can understand how difficult it can be.

The best thing you can do is just take care of your little family and stay sane yourself. Don't let anyone make you feel guilty about your night out especially since its being paid for by your lovely freinds.
You need to let off a vat full of steam.

Hope that things get better soon honey.
x Daisy

 

[misscrazycooki]

Hugs hun i have felt the same way as we are a family on benefits and you all get branded the same even though if a job came up that would cover everything and give us just a little extra we would take it. Just shame people all see the bad that others have took x

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[deedee84]

thanks ladies! so glad i have you to let off steam to as i just feel that no one cares anymore here, they probably do, but having a go at me isnt the way to go about it, God if i could click my fingers and change things i would, but i cant! just said to OH not long since that sometimes i just feel like moving far away from everyone and everything, concentrating on us four and our gorgeous little animals and stuff the world, at least i wouldnt get hurt so much!

xx

 

[deedee84]

After been upset most of the day thanks to my stupid family i really did need a decent nights sleep! By tea time i felt soooo tired! Lexi had been a good girl all day, she had napped like normal and had time awake too so i was hoping she would have a good night for me...and she did
She fell asleep on the sofa at 8:40pm, due to me being super tired i took us to bed at 9:25pm and little miss woke for her first feed at 1:35am, she then woke at 4:25am, had an oz, so i climbed back in bed but then she started stirring for more so ended up getting back up and she took the rest of the bottle, but at least i hadnt got comfy or fallen to sleep so that was ok! And lastly she woke at 6:25am which again is fine as i'm up at 6:30 anyway! She seemed a bit whingy and bunged up when she woke, didnt know whether this was due to not having the heating on last night, hope shes not coming down with anything!

Super excited that its Saturday tomorrow my friends doing my nails for me this afternoon, my clothes are all ironed out, i got me some hair gems to bling me up a bit really cant wait eeeeek!!!! Thats when i'm gonna block every chuffer outta my head (apart from my gorge little family obviously) and just have a fab night, could be the last one for a while!

xx

 

[deedee84]

Saturday and i've been up since 5:45am seen as though my little lady woke and was screeching and babbling to herself in her cot for aaaages! Shes currently sat in her swing watching 64 zoo lane and screaming at the tv, shes full of cold and still so happy and crazy bless her

We had a decent night with her too, she was asleep from around 8 and had the odd small feed! She had a proper feed at 9:10pm and we went up to bed at 9:50pm, gave her chance to get into a nice deep sleep again before moving her! She woke for her first feed at 12:55am, so a tad earlier than normal! Then woke again at 3:50am and lastly 5:45am when she woke but didnt want a feed so i left her in her cot with the mobile on but she wasnt having none of it she just laid thre babbling away etc and thats why i'm up so early lol!

Oh also forgot to mention, i got my smear results back midweek, come back borderline wouldnt mind but with elise i had a smear done 6wks after birth and had borderline changes so had to have them done every 6 months for a while! This time, i wasnt allowed to have my smear until Lexi was 12 weeks to ensure that the cells had returned to normal so that the results would come back ok and still they havent, so i have to go back in March for another doing! Fab!

On a good note...its Saturday...night out day! I have come away unscathed from all the bugs and germs floating around in my house, Lexi has a cold, Jamie complained of a sore throat yesterday and Elise has had the odd moan about a sore throat and head ache! So fingers crossed i make it through the day really looking forward to it, its been aaaaages!

xx

 

[misscrazycooki]

Sounds like she is getting better with her feeding have you put her on blue Hungary baby now x

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[deedee84]

Yep shes on it and off colic drops...for now haha, tbh i think if she still had colic she would have been whingy by now but she seems ok, well apart from the teething and having a cold bless her!

xx

 

[Daisy2011]

Deedee thats a real pain about your smear results, borderline's usually followed by a second negative and as much as its a pain to have to go back it at least you know that they are not missing anything that might be important. Pain though bet you thought all that prodding up there would be over for a while after Elexis was born!

Hope you have a lovely night tonight and that lexi is settling down into longer sleeps at last.
x Daisy

 

[misscrazycooki]

Glad to hear hun. Yeah think they both brewing some teeth but then again Leo was teething about now and still only got his first tooth at ten months old x he now has eight bless x

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[deedee84]

Well i cant really report on Lexi's sleeping last night as i didntget in while gone 3am but OH said she was fine, he said she was whingy for about an hour after i went, but that doesnt surprise me as she had been awake a while! I edid hear her wake once after i had got in and then woke at 6:30am babbling and laughing away to herself hehe! OH got up and dealt with the kids and i had a lie in until 8:30am...not a massive one thaks to OH so now i'm up and have a beast of a hangover but Lexi is being awesome and is fast asleep bless good job as OH has gone up to bed for an hour...part timer cant hack it

Had an awesome night though last night, plently of laughs and daft behaviour especially as my friend decided to buy an inflatable penis and carried it around all night Wilf really did get lots of attention, funnily enough from men hehe!!

little moo with daddy just before i went out:



xx

 

[Daisy2011]

Sounds brilliant, glad you had a fab time, you needed a blow out and some fun !
Gosh how big shes getting lovely, that what are you doing mummy look!

Must be lovely to hear her babbling away to herself a content girl
Hope the hangover wears off soon
x Daisy

 

[deedee84]

thanks Daisy and yes the blow out was well needed, well seemed a good idea at the time, but this hangover is telling me otherwise so yeah, i hope it wears off soon especially as i have school uniform to wash and iron oh dear!!

And yeah, its lovely listening to her babble away contently :') could sit n listen for hours if she'd babble for that long lol!

xx

 

[misscrazycooki]

Glad to hear you had a nice time hun x

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[deedee84]

I was absolutely shattered all day yesterday, deffo not used to hitting the town, getting in at 3am and getting up early still So Elexis fell asleep roughly round about 7 which was early for her, i was hopinh she would wake before 9pm so that our usual routine was carried out, but she didnt so come 9:30pm we went to bed anyway! I was really hoping that she would have a good night, after all, i really needed the sleep...the last time i felt that tired was after the birth!! Anyway, she woke at 11:30pm so hadnt done bad up to that point to say she went to sleep at 7pm, after this she woke at 12:50am, 2:50am, 4;05am, 5:30am and 6am i have never felt so shattered in all my life as i did getting up every hour to feed her! Shes currently asleep in my bed with Jamie! So i've told Jamie he can do the school run this morning and then when he gets back i'm having a couple of hours sleep...hopefully!

Forgot to take my bloody pill yesterday too and since its changed to cerezette i think i'm supposed to take it like clock work...so looks like OH aint getting no sexy time for a week haha!

xx

 

[deedee84]

our Lexi has had me in stitches for the past couple of days, shes certainly found her voice and keeps doing a high pitched squeal...as funny as it is, its extremely hard to hear the tv when shes having a squealy moment, last night she was going for it for a good hour and a half, just laid on the sofa making her new sound

I've noticed lately too thats shes not falling to sleep on the bottle any more, shes been chewing her hand and dropping off without any help...so proud of her :') this really did help last night, it got to 9:30pm...which is usually bedtime but the little monkey woke up, so i fed her but she was still awake after her feed, so i took her up to bed at 10pm still awake, popped her in the cot and went in my bedroom to get my jammies on, she was fine for 20 minutes and then wanted some more bottle, so i fed her again popped her back in awake and she nodded off all on her own she woke at 1:40am for a feed and then at 3:50am, 5:50am and lastly 6;05am...after this feed she was fidgety and ready to get up so we got up, didnt mind as i get up at 6:30 anyway with Elise!

Bit miffed with OH this morning too, all day yesterday he played on his poker and he did actually win some money by last night so he took the code down to take £60 off as that would help us out massively as we have zero money left and were gonna have to skip the rent this week just to live! He comes to bed and says "i've f****d up, just nearly taken loadsa tablets!" so i asked why and he said he had put the money back onto his account as he wanted to try and win more but had lost it all, now i'm not so bothered about the money, we didnt have it to begin with, it was won and if he hadnt of won it we would have managed, its the fact hes tried using the guilt trip "feel sorry for me" shite so that i'd be more sympathetic than annoyed...well he has another thing coming as i wont stand for him using that old line on me!!! Words shall be had this morning thats for sure!

xx