Am I too young to want a baby so badly?

[KateDan]

Hi, my name's Kate and i'm 20. I've always thought of myself as someone who is ment to be a mother. My biggest dream is to one day have children. But I just can't wait for this to happen. My biological clock has been ticking for at least 2 years now. Everytime i see parents with their children or pregnant women, I tear up..I have a boyfriend..We've been together for a year now. Recently, after having sex, we noticed that the condom had a small hole in it.. Naturaly it was dripping..I was 5 days late and i secretly hoped i was pregnant, even though i knew that thought was insane..Turns out i'm not pregnant....Is there any one that has felt like this at such a young age? I don't know anyone my age that has the same dream as me.
I've expressed my thoughts to my bf, and thankfully i didn't scare him away. He calmly talked some sense into me. He explained why now isn't the time. "We need to get our lives sorted out. You need money to raise a child and we're still in Uni". He's obviously completely right.I understand that. But this desire i have for a baby just won't go away. I can't get over it. Any advise?

 

[Kayelle]

Sounds like me lol! I wanted to be a mother for forever! Like you it increased with a near accident, but I am glad I waited and oh is my perfect partner and we are both so excited . Was 24 last November. You sound sensible, and realise it might be easier a little into the future. I don't think I could have waited much longer though Hehe
Good luck for the future , I'm excited for you

 

[Kayelle]

Im Kate too btw

 

[claire671]

I was the same hun, I'm 23 at the moment and pregnant. I have always dreamed of having a family but I waited until I was married, settled in a nice house and had finished college. So glad I did. I don't think you are too young at all and you sound very level headed about it. Good luck for the future xx

 

[Rachel1509]

It's completely upto you when you choose to have a baby. I'm 20 now and gave birth to my first child 3 weeks ago and wouldn't change it for the world! Never planned to have children this young but definately don't regret it now I've done it.

I remember wanting a baby when I was in secondary school, but it was just hormones of course and the natural female instinct to want to be a mother.
It's completely normal to want to have children, but it sounds like you have a grown up partner who's thinking of the other side such as financial situation, relationship etc.

Whatever you choose to do, good luck with it

 

[Jayjay027]

I had a miscarriage when I was 18 and for a few months after that I desperately wanted a baby. But I got on with my life and waited til I got married to my soul mate.
I'm 25 and due my first baby in August and I'm glad I waited x

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[sammi7]

I don't think that you are too young, although I do understand about uni. I started working in a nursery 4 years ago and desperately wanted a child of my own since then. I then had 2 mc's and I was more desperate to have my own baby. I am only 20, and some people consider ne too young to be having a child but you yourself know when the time is right. I am due in 8 weeks and also look after my stepdaughter who lives with me but not everyone is going to have the same opinion. Good luck with what ever you decide xx

 

[corky]

Hi, my name's Kate and i'm 20. I've always thought of myself as someone who is ment to be a mother. My biggest dream is to one day have children. But I just can't wait for this to happen. My biological clock has been ticking for at least 2 years now. Everytime i see parents with their children or pregnant women, I tear up..I have a boyfriend..We've been together for a year now. Recently, after having sex, we noticed that the condom had a small hole in it.. Naturaly it was dripping..I was 5 days late and i secretly hoped i was pregnant, even though i knew that thought was insane..Turns out i'm not pregnant....Is there any one that has felt like this at such a young age? I don't know anyone my age that has the same dream as me.
I've expressed my thoughts to my bf, and thankfully i didn't scare him away. He calmly talked some sense into me. He explained why now isn't the time. "We need to get our lives sorted out. You need money to raise a child and we're still in Uni". He's obviously completely right.I understand that. But this desire i have for a baby just won't go away. I can't get over it. Any advise?

I'm in exactly the same position hun, it's a tricky one, personally i'm going with my gut and hoping it'll work out well! been trying for a year and a half now though and nothing so you never know how long you'll be waiting even if you do decide to try xxx

 

[TashaWink]

You sound just like my sister...it was her dream to be a mum and have children...and lots...at 18 she met her now husband at 19 she fell pregnant with her first and was 20 when she had him. She didn't seem to young at all...she's going to be 26 this year and is on her 5...she said this will be it for a while

 

[TORino]

I wanted to see a bit of the world and do a few things before we had a family. A kind of bucket list before children. These things included being married and having a big enough house and enough money to pay for things I wanted to get for baby and maternity leave. I have also travelled a fair bit which i am pleased about because the opportunity to do so with a child will be limited for a while.

It's a very personal choice when to start a family and there is no right or wrong. People manage in many different circumstances. I guess it depends how easy you want to make it for yourself.

 

[GoldenDragon]

I don't think you're too young, at all. I'm going to be 17 in two days and as you can see I'm pregnant. I didn't plan it, like you the condom me and my OH used broke. But I wouldn't change things for the world. I know I'm young, but I can't wait to be a mummy. I've got loads of support from my family as well as school, so I'm ok. I do think you should wait until you at least finish uni and get a bit more settled though x

 

[Karate Kid]

I am pretty much the same, I have wanted children for as long as I can remember.... the only thing is I wanted to be married and settled before having LO's.... I am 24 now and I cannot wait to be a mother, I am glad we waited long enough to have a home and be financially stable for our children. xx

 

[cosmicgirl]

I had my first at 18 and missed out on so much. Finish uni, see the world, go out and have fun. Loads of time to have a baby hun x

 

[Amyrose]

I had my kiddies young and while o don't regret them I do regret not seeing the world and getting some qualifications behind me. If I had my time over I would had gone to uni got my dream job traveled and lived a little more. X

 

[Hunnie]

I had my first at 18 and missed out on so much. Finish uni, see the world, go out and have fun. Loads of time to have a baby hun x

Agree! Im 19 now and was 18 when I got pregnant with my first and it's much easier to think about being pregnant than what caring for the baby is and trying to get on with normal everyday life as well. I don't regret having Sophie at all l, I just regret the timing of the situation. I was exactly the same as you and was so so desperate to get pregnant.


Finish Uni and have some fun first!

 

[winnie89]

Hey hun as many of the ladies have said on here there is no right or wrong time for you. I do agree with your OH, finish uni and settle down first, I've always wanted a child ever since my brother was born (I was 16) then I had a miscaridge at 19, and since then I got married and have my own house with my husband and finally august last year we got pregnant! You'll know when the time is right, I spent way to many years wishing I was pregnant and being depressed over it, do what's right for you hun x

 

[mrswarner87]

im 24 and pregnant with my 3rd lol, ( i need to get a hobbie lol) i think that as long as you are settled in a home and at least one of you has a steady income thats enough. i dont believe there is any good time to have a baby, being a mother at any age is a culture shock but like you i felt i was born to be a mother, as it turns out im a great mum with 2 amazingly intelligent children and a great husband. i do however have to go to uni when this baby is 3 meaning ill be 28 when i can finally go to uni to become a midwife, i will feel a tad old with all them 18/19 year olds lol... do whatever feels right to you sweetheart, one day you will be a mother wether it be sooner or later xx

 

[GoldenDragon]

If you really want a baby and feel like you can cope, go for it xxx

 

[hellywelly]

There will never be a right or wrong answer to this dilemma, BUT... I was extremely broody at 21 but was fresh out of uni, not got a decent job or a steady boyfriend (lots of blokes I thought COULD be steady but I got easily bored!!) lol I had almost overwhelming feelings about getting pregnant 'by accident' but deep down for me I knew it wouldn't be a fair or sensible decision. I worked for a couple of years, went travelling round the world for a few months, then trained as a teacher, and slowly moved on to the housing ladder before meeting the man of my dreams who is now my hubby.
Now I'm due in a few weeks I am soooooo excited. It's the right daddy, in the best house I could provide, with much better financial opportunities. I'm in no way saying that having a baby young is a bad thing or that you can't provide properly - that's crap as I know lots of great young mums, but for me personally, this feels like the best possible time in my life to have a baby and I can't wait. Good luck with whatever you choose.

 

[Loula]

Im with the others its totally your choice and your decision well yours and partners.
I was around the same age as you and wanted a baby but i was in a crappy relationship and needed out.
I went travelling for 4 years and had a brilliant time. Id defo recommend to have a bit of a life befre hand and enjoy yourselves even if it is just for a year. I thought i found mr right and we tried and tried and tried for a baby and nothing happened. Stress caught up with us about it and we ended up splitting up. I met someone else and bang got pregnant within 3 months and we both knew what we were doing but unfortunately the stress of a baby for him was too much and im left to bringing this little one into the world on my own. I dont regret it but wouldnt recommend it especially as i was supposed to start uni in april. Id say its defo a choice between you and your partner and just weigh up the pros and cons x