Am I the most selfish person on Earth?

[CARNAT22]

S-I-L (brother's Fiancee) today announced she is pregnant with their second. She is due 3 weeks after me.

I love my S-I-L, she has been with my brother for over 15 years and I consider her a friend.

Sadly my first feeling was one of utter selfishness.

I was sad as I realised that my little one won't be the new baby for very long at all. Oddly my S-I-L had her first just 5 weeks after my sister had her baby [2nd] last year !!!

Am I a complete cow to feel like this?

I know my baby will be loved and cherished just like the other grandkids but I just had visions of bub being spoilt rotten on Crimbo day as they'lll be the "baby" and now this won't happen. My baby will be the "bub" for just a few weeks, if that!!

OH said I am being silly and I feel like such a bitch!

 

[kedi376]

No I don't think you are a complete cow. I'd probably feel the same, like your bubble will be burst.

I take it you haven't told your family yet either?

 

[Emily0505]

I understand how you feel hun and I think I would feel the same too tbh.

Do any of your family know you are expecting yet? I know you mentioned previously that you weren't going to tell anyone until after your 12 week scan.

XX

 

[CARNAT22]

I told them all two weeks ago and they all got their scan piccies after our scan on 10th April.

Bro and S-I-L knew then but "waited" to announce it.....

S-I-L had her first almost two weeks early so if I am late then we could end up being in labour at the same time!!

I feel so petty and selfish, all I ever wanted was this bub to be sticky so how can I be so bogged down by something that is actually a good thing?

As I say I love my S-I-L... I can't help how I feel though I guess?

xxxxxxxxx

 

[Cherry.Glitter]

No way, Id feel the same - its never nice when someone steals your (or in this case your baby's) thunder.

 

[pinkyprincess]

I felt EXACTLY the same as my aunt got preggo when I was, she miscarried in the end but since having Tyler here I don't think there would've been a problem in fact it could've been a blessing as we all live quite fat apart and have BIG family get togethers that Tyler finds too much, would be nice to have another baby to take the edge off iykwim?

 

[Hope81]

Ok i typed a huge message and then the tapatalk crushed

I was telling you there that hormones right now make everything feel weird
And tried to give you some positive thoughts and experiences.

Me and my cousin (1 month younger) grew up together. She was and is my best friend and soon the godmother of my baby. I never felt jealously towards her and our grandparents gave us the exact same present at our birthdays that we always had together I have the best memories ever with her.

Also I wish there was a baby born in the family at the same time us I hope we will have some private and personal time to build a routine and get used to our new family before everyone comes to live with us for a month to visit the baby ( both sets of grandparents live abroad... And both planning to come for like 1 month visit and stay in our house....)
I hope Christmas will be only me oh and LO too as I the first Christmas to be special and only us ifykwim.

 

[Hope81]

Shitty tapatalk
Anyway I think once bubs is here you will be so overwhelmed happy and relieved that got here safe that you will not even think about it again

 

[CARNAT22]

Thanks Hope (and everyone)

OH keeps telling me how good it will be that as cousins they will be so close in age and I will have my S-I-L for company and support...

I just wanted my baby to have a little time of being the "baby" before the next one comes along....

I am of course pleased but I just wish there was a little more time between us

xxxxxxxx

 

[cosmicgirl]

I would feel exactly the same! I'm sure you will get used to the idea but I'd be feeling exactly the same x

 

[x_larlybelle_x]

I know exactly how u feel. My SIL announced her pg te day after me. They were due 3 weeks after I was too! It was horrible whilst I was pg but it ended up with my niece being born first and Henry a week later. Throughout the beginning of my pg I was hopin that we would have different flavour babies and we did. It's quite nice now they are both here as they keep each other company and will grow up together.

I really hated it when I was pg and felt exactly the same as u, and resented them for stealing my thunder so to speak.

It will all come good in the end hunny, I've been there and done that! Lol. Xxxxxx

 

[CARNAT22]

I know exactly how u feel. My SIL announced her pg te day after me. They were due 3 weeks after I was too! It was horrible whilst I was pg but it ended up with my niece being born first and Henry a week later. Throughout the beginning of my pg I was hopin that we would have different flavour babies and we did. It's quite nice now they are both here as they keep each other company and will grow up together.

I really hated it when I was pg and felt exactly the same as u, and resented them for stealing my thunder so to speak.

It will all come good in the end hunny, I've been there and done that! Lol. Xxxxxx

That's good to hear hun,

Did you get on quite well with S-I-L beforehand?

I know it will end up being a good thing, I guess I'd just set myself up with "visions" of bringing a new baby into the family and I feel a little hard done by that my first will be the the baby for such a short amount of space.

It's all my issues I know, my S-I-L has never been anything but a sweetheart to me in all the years I've known her!

We're both team yellow and I am secretly hoping I get a girl (first girl grandchild) and she has another buy! I am such a bitch!

A few weeks ago I was just praying for this to be my sticky bean and now look at what I am moaning about??

xxxxxx

 

[charliebear]

Your not selfish.

We all want our babies to be the 'baby'. It will be nice that they are close in age, there is 9 months between AJ and my sisters LO and its lovely how close they are.

When I was pregnant with AJ, my cousin was pregnant too and everything to her was a competition. It really angered me to the point where I kept my mouth shut and never told her anything.
Though her baby was due first she is an attention seeker and she drove me nuts. x

 

[Little_angel]

I don't think you're selfish, it's human nature to want to come first for a while (or want it for our little one).

As they get older it will be lovely though, to be cousins so close in age. My cousin's wife is pregnant with twins and will give birth pretty soon. I'm happy that there will be other children in the family of a similar age to my little one, although this isn't the same as our situation, because they won't share a grandparent.

xxx

 

[Little_angel]

LOL I started that post and went to eat dinner. Now I see loads of people have beaten me to it! xxx

 

[Lolly85x]

Hey, I just wanted to say that I really don't think you are being selfish at all!!!! I'd hate this situation, it's your 1st baby and you want it to be special for everyone and make such a big fuss... And they will defo would put a bit of a dampner on it I it was for me, but look at the good stuff. Mat leave together, playdates! Try and enjoy your special time xxx

 

[Olive]

My SIL had a baby last week. My lo was born in January. It's actually a nice thing. We've both got boys so it's a cousin close in age, they can play with each other at family get togethers and we're both off on maternity leave together. I totally get how you feel. My SIL fell pregnant really quickly and we had been trying for quite a long time, but try to think of the positives. Plus you get to be an aunt again x

 

[katey123]

Is not like having a family bond with your bump buddy ? surely that makes it more special ! it sounds lovely and supportive to me , maybe I'm alone with that thought . xx

 

[tinselcat]

Hi Carnat

I think it's a natural feeling - I'm the oldest of all my cousins and was really keen to have the first great-grandchild.

It's your precious moment and you don't want anyone stealing your 'thunder'.

May not be any comfort, but as they'll both be teeny at Christmas, I imagine they'll both be cooed over. How could anyone resist two newborns?

xx

 

[willowwisp]

I don't think your selfish, I think it's a natural initial reaction. After the obvious massive fears like loosing bubba, problem with bubba, problem with me, loosing husband whilst pregnant etc, a relation being pregnant would be my worst nightmare on the more normal scale of things. If your the less pregnant one it looks like you've copied or wanted some of the limelight (even though this clearly isn't the intention) and if your the more pregnant one then your bubbas thunder is stolen.

In my family I'd also get the 'oh your doing that are you? Person X is doing it more like this....' comments and I'd end up throwing punches!