All over the place...

[lisey27]

I am an emotional wreck, I am ok one minute, in tears the next then completely silent and wanting to hide away in a dark room away from everyone and everything.

It is taking me hours to get to sleep at night through crying and thinking about everything...

This is my second miscarrige in 7 months and all I can think is that we will never get our baby, I feel like there MUST be something wrong in order for us to have 2 in a row. I can't continue to go through the pain and heartache of it, I feel totally broken

 

[deedee84]

aww Lisey i am so sorry its happened again, what a cruel world we live in, i cant begin to imagine how you feel, sending you lots of hugs and strength xxxxx

 

[CARNAT22]

Hi Lisey,

You poor, poor thing.

I know this doesn't really help but I do know how you feel at the moment and I do understand the horrible crush of having a second loss.

It puts a whole new spin on things and you sadly enter that scary world of thinking "this is not normal and something must be wrong"

As I suggested yesterday maybe you want to look into some preliminary tests privately just to rule out certain things? I have no idea of cost but the tests are mainly blood tests? They look at youe blood, your antibodies, your and OH's chromosomes and they will check your womb as well.

It may be an idea to look into this?

Your loss is very raw and new hun so you are bound to be all over the place. It is totally normal and you need to go with it. If you feel sad then let it all out.

The second loss is harder in many ways but I promise that in time you will start to come to terms with it.

Keep yourself fed and watered and get some rest.

I know you have your son so you probbaly cannot take to your bed but sometimes forcing yourself to pretend to be OK will make you actually start to feel a little better.

Yell if you need anything sweetie

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[laurat]

Oh honey! Im so sorry to read this! Xxxx

 

[mishi]

I'm so sorry to read this hon, so hard for you and I'm really sorry you're going through this.xx

 

[Sunbeam638]

Hey lisey, I'm so sorry to read this. I don't know what to say because it's such an emotional wave to ride.

Lots of hugs xxxx

 

[kedi376]

Hey hun sorry to hear what you are going through. I found the second loss much worse, you will feel better in time I promise. You'll always feel a little sad about it but time will move on.

Do whatever you need to do to make yourself feel better at the moment. Have you been to the docs? My doc did some initial blood tests after my 2nd loss. Normally they don't do anything until the 3rd loss, but I asked and he said ok. So it's certainly worth a try.

Everyone is here for you when you need to rant or just talk x

 

[daniph1]

Darling I am so sorry you have to go through this. its a cruel cruel place to be. Just know that from someone who has been exactly where you are, the pain does ease and things do get a bit better! iam hear to talk to if you need me xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[Corrinne37]

Awwwwwww Lisey,
So so sorry to read this, my heart sank for you.
1 MC is heartbreaking and heart wrenching enough,
2 MC in a row is emotionally devastating
the 2nd one for me was so much harder to deal with, because it affected OH so much.
i felt stronger to deal with all the emotions as i had been through it before, all though they hit so much deeper, and so
much more anger and emotion attached.
OH also got really depressed after our 2nd one, he refused to ttc again until we had answers.
so i pushed my GP for testing and luckily he was understanding and referred us to the fertility clinic,
It took 6 mths to get all the tests done, my tubes checked, swabs, sperm tests etc etc
For them to tell me nothing really was wrong (apart from OH lowish sperm count and me lowish hormones levels)
but no reason for the 2 x MC's
They did prescribe me Clomid which I took for the 1st time last month.
But really I just feel that we wasted 6 months valuable ttc time to get these tests done to really be none the wiser.
But we did the break from it all.
Actually me and OH very nearly split up from it all, you may remember my threads he started smoking , things got really bad.
Anyway, so sorry I am waffling.
Just wanted to share with you my story as I have been through it and although things got so bad, we are back on track now.
There is light at the end of the tunnel.
But I have to say it is the hardest thing I have ever been through.
Here if you ever need to vent Lisey, thinking of you at this awful tough time xxxxxxx

 

[dyscochick]

Hun I'm so sorry you are going through this. Having been through one, like you had, I'm dreading the possibility of a second.
Do anything you can to take control and do something, push the docs for some tests, tell them how much it is affecting you. Its an awful place to be for you hun, but remember that like last time, with time, the hurt does fade a little. Be patient with yourself and oh

 

[jojo3972]

i am so sorry u have had to go through this not once but twice bless ya justw anting to give ((((hugs)))) xxxx

 

[lisey27]

Thanks so much to all of you for your lovely words and thoughts, its amazing how comforting it is. This really is a wonderful forum xx


This loss is definately harder as there is the worry that something could be wrong, first time feels like it could be bad luck but twice scares the life out of me...

Kedi376; hope you dont mind me asking but did you find anything from the blood tests or did you just continue to TTC? We are unsure what to do, we are going to have at least 4-5 months to try again but even then we are not sure what route to take..I am going to ask the doctor for bloods but not sure what my chances are of getting them, no harm in asking though.

I have read some info on low dose aspirin and high dose folic acid that they sometimes advise after 2 MC's...is this something anyone has been given? and what is the reason for high dose folic acid?

I am finding it so hard to sleep but constantly tired, I wish I could wish this time away and just feel better xx

 

[lisey27]

Awwwwwww Lisey,
So so sorry to read this, my heart sank for you.
1 MC is heartbreaking and heart wrenching enough,
2 MC in a row is emotionally devastating
the 2nd one for me was so much harder to deal with, because it affected OH so much.
i felt stronger to deal with all the emotions as i had been through it before, all though they hit so much deeper, and so
much more anger and emotion attached.
OH also got really depressed after our 2nd one, he refused to ttc again until we had answers.
so i pushed my GP for testing and luckily he was understanding and referred us to the fertility clinic,
It took 6 mths to get all the tests done, my tubes checked, swabs, sperm tests etc etc
For them to tell me nothing really was wrong (apart from OH lowish sperm count and me lowish hormones levels)
but no reason for the 2 x MC's
They did prescribe me Clomid which I took for the 1st time last month.
But really I just feel that we wasted 6 months valuable ttc time to get these tests done to really be none the wiser.
But we did the break from it all.
Actually me and OH very nearly split up from it all, you may remember my threads he started smoking , things got really bad.
Anyway, so sorry I am waffling.
Just wanted to share with you my story as I have been through it and although things got so bad, we are back on track now.
There is light at the end of the tunnel.
But I have to say it is the hardest thing I have ever been through.
Here if you ever need to vent Lisey, thinking of you at this awful tough time xxxxxxx

Thanks for sharing hun,

I was just saying to my OH today that this is one of the hardest things I have ever had to go through, people dont get it...they seem to think an early loss doesnt matter and that you can get up and deal with it immediately...

I hope we all get our happy and healthy babies soon xx

 

[CARNAT22]

The high dose folic acid is because it aids development of the spine and spinal cord which in turn develops the central nervous system.

It is thought that if this part of the fetus does not develop correctly it can result in miscarriage.

I saw two different consultants when I was having tests and neither of them advocated baby asprin. The first consultant saw me the day I had most of the tests done - I asked him if he recommeded baby asprin and he told me that if I had a blood problem baby asprin alone would not make much difference.

The consultant who gave me the results said as my blood came back as normal there was no need to take asprin?

Lots of women who have had previous losses do swear by it though!

xxxxxx

 

[lisey27]

The high dose folic acid is because it aids development of the spine and spinal cord which in turn develops the central nervous system.

It is thought that if this part of the fetus does not develop correctly it can result in miscarriage.

I saw two different consultants when I was having tests and neither of them advocated baby asprin. The first consultant saw me the day I had most of the tests done - I asked him if he recommeded baby asprin and he told me that if I had a blood problem baby asprin alone would not make much difference.

The consultant who gave me the results said as my blood came back as normal there was no need to take asprin?

Lots of women who have had previous losses do swear by it though!

xxxxxx

Thanks for the info carnat,

I will ask for the high dose folic acid then, my losses have been between 6-7 where I am sure alot is happening developmentally with spine and spinal cord etc so could be helpful. I will also ask about the asprin, I wont just take it-definately going to make sure its recommended for me xxx

 

[CARNAT22]

You can't OD on Folic Acid, you just pee out what you don't need.

I would def ask for it next time hun, although you can keep on taking the normal dose whilst NTNP and up it when you get your next BFP (I know that will be some time away hun, and there is no rush!)

xxxxxxxxx

 

[lisey27]

I went to my doctors yesterday to inform them of miscarriage...I saw a doctor I have never seen before (we dont have a choice who we see when making an appointment for same day) and wont be seeing again.

He was so inpersonal and his words about my miscarriage were "its the best thing that can happen" I know he means if there is a problem then baby would not survive and be able to grow etc but the way he said it was blunt.

He said he wasnt worried at all about me having a baby as I have one already...a little while later he asked if my son is my partners (he isnt) which changed his thinking I think but he said thats not for me to worry about-of course I am going to worry!!!

He said I am higher risk of a miscarriage compared to someone who's had none...but didnt indicate the amount of added risk, I asked and he shrugged!!

He also informed me that "the ovaries will kickstart again in 8 weeks" (pretty sure it happens before then) and would I like the pill???? I dont know why he assumed I wouldn't be trying again!

It was just a nightmare of an appointment, I have made another to see a female dr that I like there and hopefully get some more information etc

xxx

 

[CARNAT22]

Oh My God Lisey - I cannot believe in this day and age we still have Dr's like that.

If you can book an appointment with a named GP then please do go back and try to see the female GP (or better still does you practice have a GP that deals with Gynae / fertility issues?)

I would also raise a complaint about that GP!

xxxxxxxx

 

[leesey]

Lisey I'm so sorry to be reading this

I would agree with Carnat, get to see your normal doctor and put in a complaint about that insensitive prick.

I would definitely find out about high dose folic acid and baby aspirin, after my 3rd early loss I was insistent and took it for the first 12 weeks this time.

I really really feel for you, and completely empathise. I just wish we had more control over these things. My thoughts are with you as you try and process this again xx

 

[lisey27]

Oh My God Lisey - I cannot believe in this day and age we still have Dr's like that.

If you can book an appointment with a named GP then please do go back and try to see the female GP (or better still does you practice have a GP that deals with Gynae / fertility issues?)

I would also raise a complaint about that GP!

xxxxxxxx

I was shocked to say the least...came out more concerned and worried than when I went in! We dont have a person who deals with feritlity at our surgery but i made an apt for a female gp that is great and I feel she will be more helpful and at least ease my worries a little xx

Lisey I'm so sorry to be reading this

I would agree with Carnat, get to see your normal doctor and put in a complaint about that insensitive prick.

I would definitely find out about high dose folic acid and baby aspirin, after my 3rd early loss I was insistent and took it for the first 12 weeks this time.

I really really feel for you, and completely empathise. I just wish we had more control over these things. My thoughts are with you as you try and process this again xx

Thanks leesey,

I asked him about the high dose folic acid and he said "some hospitals give it" I wanted to know if the gp would give it. He was useless, he seemed like he would be a good doctor if you had a sore throat or an ear infection but not for emotional support of any kind.

Was it a gp that gave high dose folic acid to you? I have also wondered about the aspirin so I will ask about that too when I see the other doctor.

xxx