Alienated by friends...

[lucylu87]

Hi, Im the first of my friends in fact anyone I know really that is pregnant. I feel like my life has changed loads recently but Im not unhappy about it.... Im thrilled BUT I feel like my friends have completely alienated me.. they always seem too busy to do anything even tho Im willing to do so. Anyone been through anything similar or any advice ? xx

 

[flexilexi394]

Hello, yeah I have the same problem. My friends don't invite me anywhere, only if they go out on the piss so they can get a lift. So upsets me. Nothing is normal with my friends any more and I really miss them. X

 

[Rheych]

yep i feel the same with mine, they say you really find out who your friends are when you are pregnant

i think it makes some of them scared that you are growing up quicker than them and with others i think they just don't think you will want to join in with stuff (i.e. drinking!!!)

I know who my friends are and am going through one of the happiest things that will ever happen so F**K nyone who doesn't want to share the happiness

 

[x_MrsE_x]

I went through the same when i was pregnant with my first, even after they fell pregnant and had children they still never bothered, so annoying but makes you realise who your real friends really are!

 

[lucylu87]

At least Im not alone in feeling like this..... its so annoying ! Of course I wanna go places/ do things b4 I have to even think about babysitters and the like.. guess it is cos I am growing up b4 them but I dont wanna be boring. lol. Im thinking of joining something like aquanatal or pregnancy yoga or something to find some mums to be... how sad am i ? But i still dont wanna lose my friends iv got. Do you think I should say something to them ? cos maybe they just dont think that I would wanna do something .... i dunno.
P.S.
Rhyech - I had already put that exact saying as my facebook status...

 

[FebMum2Be]

I'm the same hun, I have a lot less friends than I did before I was pregnant, but the one's I have now are real ones! x

 

[Sol]

I feel really lucky after reading this post because I work with a load of guys, like only a quarter of our team is female. We were all pretty close before but since I became pregnant even though none of them knew to start with I suddenly started getting invited out to Beer Festivals of all things ( some are real ale drinkers).

Well it was at one of the beer festivals I told the guys I was on anti biotics at the time, and ever since I've been invited to everything.
Some are my age and have kids some are younger and some don't have kids but wow they have tons of questions including the girls and I really feel like I've extended my group of friends which is really sweet
I've lost touch with some friends outside work probably cause they arn't ready to have kids or have had them already but the guys have really helped.

It's kind of nice I work in the hossie too cause I know the guys will pop there head round the door when I'm in (They all deliver stuff to the wards so there is a bit of leverage there lol)

I guess you do find out who you friends are.

And Luclylu you're not daft aquanatal and stuff is a great way to meet other mums I have been told

 

[mrsH2009]

I have lost a few along the way, but have made more that have things in common with me and already have children, the thing is when your little ones arrive your entire outlook on life changes and to some extent I think it was me that distanced mysrlf from them, they didn't seen to realise that I couldn't just drop things at the drop of a hat anymore, events took alot of planning, my best friend stayed thou infact despite not having children herself she is fantastic with jack and her partner even comes to see jack somethimes when she's working and he isn't

 

[TheHolster]

I feel like this too!! Since becoming pregnant, neither me or my OH really get invited out much anywhere anymore

I dont like it, I used to be a really social person and so did OH but now we dont really see anyone other family!

 

[lea554]

Hey, just wanted to say, even though im soooo early on in my pregnancy, its kinda happening a bit too me as well. Most of my friends are great, but up untill 6 weeks ago, we were the kinda girls to be out drinking and partying all night!

Its not too bad at the mo, but I think everyone is right - your true friends will be the ones still there at the end - when you will probably need the most support!

 

[BumpandAshlee]

When I lived out in the OC and told my friends out there they were really shocked, happy but shocked I think they felt that I was too young and while they are all building on their careers I think it made them think. I did notice them inviting me out less. I took not much notice as I moved back to England soon after. My friends in England have been really good. I have 5 really close friends and all have been really supportive. Not too sure if they are inviting me everywhere because I haven't been living at in England properly for about 4/5 years hope not!

 

[misty]

guys this happened to me i was 20 when fell with my first an was young, none of my friends had kids (only 1 out of about 10 does have now!!) anyway i pretty much lost contact with them all after LO was born, but it fine i now hang out with other mums an up until i got prego again we wud gym, shop and go clubbin together they can party better as they are so pleased to be free for a nite!! haha
our kids all go same nursey, and i met most through my boyfriends football club (girlfriends of other footy guys).
some will be jealous that u have settled down also, some will be scared of what to say an some wanna stay young so are keepin there distance! dont worry love the real ones will still be there and wen LO is born u will meet lots of other mums if u make an effort with baby clubs ect.. xx

 

[inky]

Most of my friends kind of drifted away when I was pregnant, one even went out of his way to tell me that he wasn't interested which I thought was pretty rude and it really hurt as we've been friends since we were at uni together (we are both 30-something now) but I was also very lucky in another way as one if my friends fell pregnant a month after me so we did lots of things together instead. We were even in labour at the same time as I was 12 days late and she was induced 2 weeks early - her LO was born 9 hours after my boy!

It's a shame when friends drift away but I guess my priorities changed anyway, plus the real friends stayed put and offered support all the way so I know who my real mates are now!

 

[jennilisanne]

Don't have any friends to lose

 

[JJ Mum]

Don't have any friends to lose

Behave Jenni, and anyway you have us lot!!

 

[jennilisanne]

Don't have any friends to lose

Behave Jenni, and anyway you have us lot!!

Sad but true I'm afraid. Honestly don't know what I would have done without you guys, you've been so fab!!

 

[JJ Mum]

Lucy, I had this, and then when they came to see the baby after born, I really tried to keep the friendships going, but they were a bit vocal on how they would do things differently and how there baby would never do this or that or change them, so we really drifted apart. and then I though maybee once they caught up and had kids of there own as slowly as one by one they got pregnant, and sadley I was still disapointed, as they needed to go through each stage to realise that thigns are different, and now I see a few of them, bvut we have nothing oni common, there kids are in fact as naughty and brought up the same as I did, and yet they just don't remeber the grief I got... well never mind I know who my friends were who kept an open mind, and I will be there for them when they had kids, as funny they are the ones who have not done it yet!

 

[sexyamy2005]

i completely agree, 1 of my friends has just had a little boy so im close to her, well a lot closer than i was, but every1 else that i was really gud mates with have vanished and dont invite me or OH out for oat anymur, beside to ask us to have aBBQ in the summer, at our house cos we r the only ones who dont still live with mummy n daddy, or taxi-in about,

i really hope there are some nice ladies at play groups and things like that so i can rod off my mates like they did to me, cheeky gits!


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