Emotional

[Bee7]

I apologise in advance for the rant, but after weeks of having fairly normal hormones/moods, i seem to all of a sudden got very emotional and tonight has just been the icing on the proverbial cake!

Have had a stressful day rushing around trying to get last bits of xmas shopping done and then my car packed in so i'll have to get that looked at next week...more expense! Tonight i was supposed to be going to a friends house for a takeaway and a quiet night in with a few others. I spent the day texting and making plans, even organising lifts for everyone since my car has packed in and i couldn't be the usual taxi service. Then when we get there they decide between themselves that they want to go out clubbing/drinking instead. Clearly i'm not able to and nor was i in the mood/attire to go even for a little while. So after a rushed evening and a bit of food i got OH to pick me up and ended up crying to him. I really dunno what it is at the moment but i feel totally alone and alienated from my friends. I understand that my life is the one that's changing and i can't begrudge them for doing things that they always do, but is it too much to ask that one night we just stay in and do something we can all enjoy?

I keep getting told that i'll make new friends when i'm at antenatal appointments, clinics etc and i thought 'i don't need any new friends, i have my own already'. But now i actually feel that it would be nice to have some like minded people who actually understand what being pregnant is about. Sorry for the rant, it's been a stressful day! xxx

 

[masonowen]

Oh hun, that wasn't a nice thing to do. They could at least have tx you and let you no, rather than letting you turn up!! I would have cried too. It,s great meeting other preg ladies, you,ll still have your other friends, and they understand what your going through.

 

[Hunnie]

I've come to the point where I've realised I only have one true friend and tbh I'd rather just have the one friend than lots of fake ones.

I think that's very inconsiderate that they let you make your way over, knowing that it was harder than usual and at more expense to you, to then say they were going out. If that was me then I would rather they just told
Me in the first place that that was the plan and i would have been happier just having a settled night in.

Have you decided if you're going to let them know how you felt about how they've behaved or just leave it and take it as a way of them showing you their true colours? :/

 

[So_hopeful81]

I went through exactly the same as you when I was pg with my 4 year old. I was still having to go to pubs/ bars and clubs right up to the end. I was so desperate not to loose them!!!! I was 11 days overdue when I had her, and they even tried to encourage me out when I was 5 days over due!!

They also all sat me down when I was pg with her and talked to me about how I had to be strong and not turn into one of "those mummies" who planned their day around their child, and that my child would have to fit around me! I swear to god, when they said it to me, I was determined to be a mum who ignored routine and let their child realise how important my life was... And then I gave birth!!!!

I remember realising that these 'friends' were so unbelievably wrong and that I had to fit my life around my child's. I tried to explain it to them, and I found very few people would come and visit me and in fact found out that one of my closest 'friends' had called me negative and said she couldn't be near me. ( incidently at the time, I had been diagnosed with PND, I was a single mum because the father of my child had proved to be the scum of the earth!) interesting how these people decided that I was not worth it when I couldn't drive to them, or come out at night!

I still am in contact with a few of them via Facebook etc, but I never go out with any of them! I do have a brilliant group of friends now though, and the friends I have that have children are just the best friends I've ever had, and understand me and support me with everything! You will get there I swear!

Your friends don't mean to be so unkind I am sure. They just don't understand what you're going through!!! But one day they might! Try to befriend at antenatal, it will help you I promise! Until then, keep the friends you've got if you want them, but make it clear that you don't want to club etc if you're not in the mood!!! Xxxx

 

[Bee7]

Thank you ladies, i'm glad i'm not alone in feeling like this. I don't think i will say anything. I think it's just something they won't fully understand until it happens to them so they aren't really doing anything wrong as such (except maybe being a little thoughtless).

Hopefully i'll get to meet some like minded mums to be at antenatal etc. Thank god for PF, if it weren't for being able to rant and rave to ladies who actually understand, i think i'd go mad! xxx

 

[BevG]

they were being very thoughtless, they could have said to go the cinema or something first that u could have joined in with at least then gone out n done the drinking part after. or planned it in advance so you could have chosen to wear something appropriate or not gone and felt like you were basically being forced to go out or go home....

ppl are very selfish nowdays i find and truly dont consider that it might not be possible for you to want to go out while they drink. noone invites me out at all. im actually quite lucky if ppl even text me nowdays without me initiating it. bumped into a 'friend' yesterday and shes a lovely girl but the last time i saw her was before i got my bfp and she lives in the local main town and is only a short bus or car ride away. she even said she had tried to call me but i know thats bull lol. i try not to take it personally as even the odd friend i have that has kids treats me this way.

 

[jmw1664]

I understand how your feeling, I have been feeling very emotional and very alone over the last few months...havent got a single friend who ever rings me to see how I'm doing or comes to visit just once every so often. Yet funnily enough they have a great schedule with the rest of their friends and plenty of parties to go to or lunches and coffee dates. Fair enough I cant go out and get pissed but I'm still fun! So anyhow I've spent all 4 months of my pregnancy so far pretty much on my own with my Fiance bless him (who's not well and has been in and out of hospital last 3 months!) and that's about it!
Have been looking up groups in my area so I can try and meet other mums to be but so far it seems I have to wait until a certain stage of pregnancy to start some...i do feel lonely at times and it's very difficult because at the same time we're going through such an exciting time, we need our friends! But where are they when we need them most???

 

[Hunnie]

But where are they when we need them most???

I think the truth is is that if they aren't here for you now then they never really were! That's what I've found anyway and it came as a bit of shocker really but over time I've come to terms with it and I no longer care as I'll soon have LO and blood is thicker than water !

I've realised I only have one true friend and that's all that matters anymore . She's the only one whos been there for me from the start and even got out of the car in the rain at the side of the road to hold my hair when I was struggling with sickness even though I'd told her to stay stay in the warm. I know none of the other "friends" would never have done that for me!