Advice regarding what happens to baby after miscarriage

[lisa1985]

Hi ladies,

I know this is a very sensitive subject so I apologise if I upset anybody! I watched dispatches the other night with amanda holden speaking about miscarriage and stillbirth and what happens to the baby afterwards.

When I had my miscarriage, 1st pregnancy ended at 10weeks, I went in for a d&c and after the op I was not told anything of what would happen to the baby afterwards, I signed no documents regarding remains etc and after hearing a few other peoples experiences it has made me wonder why hospitals in Bristol are not discussing this with patients.

Can anybody share their experiences? I am considering writing to the nhs as I feel like i/my baby haven't been treated correctly. Maybe I am being over the top and I know there is nothing I can do about this now, but would still like to know and maybe help change the future of women having to go through this.

Thank you xx

 

[holly750]

Firstly, I'm sorry for your loss, I think if you need answers writing to them would be a good idea.

I had a mmc and a erpc, like a dnc, 2 weeks ago. Along with the consent form for the op, a part of it specified that the remains- their words, not mine- would be cremated at the local crematorium. I signed the forms the day before the op. Everything was a bit of a blur.

As I understand it, different hospitals have different 'policies' so it may be well worth a check. Xx

 

[Eryinera]

I'm sorry if I offend anyone I know this is a touchy subject.

For me (and tusdays wrightstuff also had a phone in about this.) I was given the option take home for burial. Incineration. Or cremation.

I chose Incineration mainly because I didn't want the baby to have had any religious words mentioned at any possible cremation. I am a strong atheist and I have not had my son christened before he gets a chance to decide for himself what he wishes to believe himself. So with no wirds being mentioned there isn't much difference between Incineration and cremation it then becomes semantics.

After hearing what happened in some hospitals I.e. generating heat from Incineration I have become more at peace with my decision. I don't think my hospital was one that uses that system but I would be more than happy if it was. I lost both my babies at 7 weeks. If I had have lost my baby add a stillbirth later on then without a doubt I would have opted for organ donation if possible. As it happens 7 weeks there is nothing really there that would be much help. So if the heat generated could heat a ward maybe a ward with premature babies on it then that would make me feel a whole lot better.

Now I must stress I was given the option and that I feel should be the norm. I don't think many people would object to this practice if they were given the option to opt out if they wanted or at least told what would happen. I don't agree with misleading or withholding information about what happened. However I do not think that what the hospital did was wrong in fact I think more hospitals should be doing that as AS LONG AS PARENTS ARE TOLD and have given consent.

 

[Lozzaste]

Hi, for the time I had the ERPC, I signed a form that stated I wanted a priest to say a prayer before the baby was despised of. I don't think they were the exact words but I assumed that would be what happened. I assumed the remains would be cremated?
When I lost the two at 11 weeks, each time I flushed the loo because I couldn't face knowing what had happened. Both times I certainly didn't intend to do that. I'm not sure which is worse to be honest.
Anyway, I found it conforming that a prayer would be said for our baby.
I hope this helps and I'm sorry for your loss xxx

 

[Lozzaste]

Disposed not despised - wtf!!!

 

[meandmyfamily]

I ad mc 5 wks ago and the day I signed the forms for medical management consent I signed forms for my baby to go to the crem X areas must have different policies x

 

[megsmeadow]

Absolutely write to your local board and ask the question! Our hospital still weren't that clear on how they would do a respectful disposal, some people said the crematorium would be involved and others couldn't answer so we went and arranged cremation for oirrinn, not religious in any way. She was 20 weeks so still classed as a miscarriage. I hope you find some answers. Sands and the miscarriage association are offering lots of support around this. x

 

[Clementine]

Do write and ask, it was something that played on my thoughts a lot when waiting for the D&C, I went to two different hospitals and they had two different approaches each time I had a D&C after my MMC. At my 2nd MMC in addition to the consent form they asked me two questions, did we want to get genetic testing done on the foetal tissue and if foetal tissue was present how did we want it disposed off, I could collect it, they would incinerate, or they would bury in a consecrated plot at the hospital, for us we chose burial at the hospital as although we don't regularly go to church I believe in God so this option give us the most comfort. It's a very personal choice. My understanding was that the product of the D&C / ERPC is always sent for general testing but this me vary depending on the hospital, also if baby stopped growing befor 12 weeks it can be very small, or might even be reabsorded into your body by the time the D&C so only the sac and placenta is removed. I hope you get a response and I'm sorry you lost your baby.

 

[xlilkax]

My first trimester miscarriages have been completely natural and I've never had to go in to hospital to have a D&C or anything like that just gone back for a check up. However, when you are further along and actually have to give birth to a baby you do get to decide what happens. From what I've read hospitals offer a burial etc. if it's after 24weeks but I lost my son at 20 weeks and they arranged the funeral for me, the body was kept at the hospital until the day of the funeral.