6 weeks and feel so alone

[oliviastevens]

Hello

I've just found out I'm 6 weeks along with my first and I've never felt so alone.

A brief history: I am 19. My parents divorced when I was 2 and the last time I saw my Dad was when I was 14, when he said he was remarrying. I've not talked to him since as I don't like the woman he has married. My Mum, who has mobility issues, lives 5 hours away, so it's not that easy to go and visit her (I don't drive) and I'm an only child.

I was with my boyfriend on and off for a few years, as he liked to drink and the relationship was volatile (he is 22). He is now with a new girlfriend (who he was cheating on me with). I knew that he didn't want kids and we slept together, using protection so I wouldn't get pregnant. I then noticed a few days later that there was split in the condom afterwards which he didn't know about. I didn't take the morning after pill, as I thought I would be OK, but then I didn't have my period, so took a test.

I feel so alone as I'm not on good speaking terms with my ex. We work in the same building, so I still see him around, which makes me physically sick. Once I begin to show he will put 2 and 2 together very quickly (I've not been with anyone else). I am petrified that he will push me into having an abortion, which I don't want.

This baby wasn't exactly planned, but I know that I'm going to love it no matter what life throws at me, or how hard its going to be. I also know I have to be strong for the baby, but at the moment I just feel so weak and low.

 

[Nat26]

Hi Olivia,

Firstly wanted to say big congratulations on your pregnancy. The most important thing now is you and your baby. Believe me, you will love that baby more than anything in the world. It is important to look after yourself now.

As for how you got pregnant, what's done is done. I wouldn't worry as he cannot make you do anything you don't want to do. Equally it will be a long time yet until your showing by which point you will be far too far along. With my 1st pregnancy, I didn't show much but at 19 weeks could feel and see baby moving about (magical)

I understand your situation, it must be very lonely, do you have any friends nearby and do they know about the pregnancy? Does your mum know? You will need lots of support. I know this because my partner left me (slept with another women) when I was 3 months pregnant with our 3rd child. I have suffered major depression and that is very hard when looking after children.

Do you have a good relationship with your mum? Or another family member?

Please don't feel alone, it must be so scary but you can do this. There are lots of support groups out there for young mothers and single parents. Talk to your midwife, she will help you. Also there are lots of lovely ladies on here to keep you company.

I'm always here if you want to pm. Good luck and congrats again, you sound like you will make a great mummy, stay strong xx