11 weeks pregnant and disconnected

[Stacey12301]

Hi all,
I found out a few weeks ago that I'm pregnant, although we weren't trying we weren't actively preventing either, as I wanted another baby.

A little bit if back story. My 1st pregnancy was perfect, and only had a small complication during Labour. The baby was coming out at an angle and got stuck. It all ended fine. 2nd pregnancy I had a lot of issues. Was in and out of hospital. On the last discharge I went home and started labouring at 30 weeks. He was stillborn after an emergency c-section. The 3rd pregnancy came quickly after as we had planned, and that went really well other than a bit of anxiety. 4th pregnancy happened while using protection and we were so excited when we were told it's twins at an early scan due to a minor bleed. Evrything was perfect until the 18 week scan.....we were told twin 1 had anencephaly and would die shortly after birth of she made it that far. She Was born alive and lived for 10days without medical help.

I thought once I got pregnant again to complete my family I'd be so happy....but I find myself convinced there is something wrong, and I just can't connect to this pregnancy. Ive asked for an early reassurance scan, Just so I can see the baby is alive, but the hospital have refused anf haven't booked me in until I'm 13 weeks.
Because my family don't like my husband I can't even tell them I'm pregnant as I'd get so much negativity from them, so I feel so alone right now.

I just don't know how I am going to cope until I can find out if this baby is ok. Any advice would be much appreciated, I just needed to get this off my chest

 

[Melly41]

Im really sorry to hear about your losses. It must have been traumatic for you and your partner. I dont really have any advice other than what happens is out of our control and altho i totally understand your anxiety, trying to remain positive will help. Did you ever seek counselling afterwards? In our local GP practice, there is a poater advertising support groups for other people that have suffered losses in pregnancy or stillbirth/loss after birth. It might be worth speaking to GP for some advice? Talking openly with your OH us really important. I hope you get some reassurance with this pregnancy and you have a beautiful healthy baby to complete your family x

 

[GBLiz]

Wow you've had a really traumatic time. Its no wonder you cant connect after all that has happened to you previously. I would have thought they would have let you have a reassurance scan under the circumstances. Are there any deals on an early scan privately you could have?

 

[Blueclass]

That is awful you would think they would give you a scan. All I can suggest is that you go private. I went private and it was about £75 in place called babybond I beleive they are verywhere. I also used peek a baby and that was £50. I hope it goes well for you x

 

[Donna88]

So sorry you have been through all that no wonder you are feeling so disconnected. Easier said than done but try and stay positive and if you can afford it I would also suggest booking a private scan (although it's ridiculous that they won't let you have one given your circumstances) Just try and look after yourself whether you go for a private scan or not