WTF is this? (Sleep question)...

[LaceyKeo]

DS has been a really good sleeper. He slept right through from the week before he turned six months, and has only woke in the night since when he's been ill. I could count on one hand the amount of times he's been up in the night after going to sleep, and it's always been a case of five minutes calming him back to sleep.

In the last four weeks, he's been at his dads for three nights. Each time, his dad has said about him waking at silly times of the night, which I took with a pinch of salt as dad is nocturnal, and I figured there was something going on there so dad could sleep in later in the morning.

He stayed at his dads last night.

He's been awake for an hour an a half now. 3am, he woke up sobbing. I went in, to see if he just needed his blanket put back over him or was sick. All seemed fine but it resulted in him getting up. He's been back in his room for half an hour now an he's still screaming the place down.

Last time he was at his dad's overnight, he said about how DS had woke him at 4am, and because he didn't realise the time, he'd got up and got him breakfast before he realised.
So they are breakfast at 4am, went back to bed and slept until 9am.

Since I've been off work, ive spent this last month really working at getting DS in a good routine, and he's been going to bed 6:30-6:30 (pretty much what he's been sleeping anyway for like the last year, just solidified into a proper routine rather than going on chance).

I don't know what last night (well, night before last, now, I guess... Monday night) entailed cause I haven't spoken to his dad...

Two fucking hours he's been screaming now... He doesn't need a drink, food, not sick... He just wants to get up.

I can not be doing this every night. I don't need him thinking 3-4am is a great time to get up... Wtf do I do?

DS is two years three months. Xx

 

[littlemonkey]

I don't really know what to suggest because if your LO is any thing like mine any time he stays else where for the night, his sleep the next night is a nightmare. But it's not really fair or an option to say he can't stay with his dad.

My LO has had spells recently where he wants up or in with us, doesn't help we brought him in last week while he was poorly so I do think part of it is age as well. It helps with our son if one of us goes in with him and either sits or lays on his floor until he's asleep.

Don't really know what else to suggest I'm afraid, other than talking to dad and finding out what happened. I think you both need to be working together otherwise this will keep being a problem.

 

[Mayflower85]

--//--

 

[LaceyKeo]

He's gone from even time with both of us, to pretty much full time with me, so being at dad's now is a novelty, which I don't think helps with his sleep there...

But even the nights before that he's been back at mine after crap sleep at dad's, he's still been more or less okay. Took him 10-15 mins to go down rather than just straight in and quiet, but, that's it. Certainly not this ridiculous body clock.

We ended up getting up at 5:30, which wouldn't be too bad, but he's actually been up since 3am, so... Goodness knows what today holds...

In one sense, I don't wanna just, blame it all on his dad... He may have just woken up by chance as a one-off, but it's so not like him. On top of that, I know his dad will ignore routine for an easy life. He flat out told me the other day he feeds him different times to what I feed him. I spent time getting him eating at the times I did because A, that's the time he's naturally settled into, and B, it follows his nursery schedule so he's not all thrown out when he's there one day a week. He's a fairly easy-going kid anyway, and occasional variations never seemed to phase him, but I can't have him getting messed about every time dad decides he wants to spend time with him.

I already had a nightmare evening the other dad cause he appeared on the doorstep with a bottle hanging from his mouth.
DS never took a dummy, or a comfort toy or blanket. His bottle was his substitute, always in his mouth. I got him off them in the day, then once I had him every night for a few in a row, I got him off the night one as well, and binned them all.
Dad swore he hadn't had a bottle at his, but apparently he "spotted this one in the car on the way over and was shouting for it", so rather than remove it and distract him, he just gave it to him.
So then big bad mummy took it away again and an hour of screaming ensued, when it could have been dealt with in a couple of minutes.
Urgh.

I'm at the point that I know DS wants to see his dad and spend time with him, but I honestly wonder how much damage it's doing him being screwed around, and our relationship with me being the bad guy all the time.

I just don't know what to do. I tell his dad each time that routine needs stuck to, and he needs to be eating at the table with cutlery, not running round the living room shoving food in his mouth as he goes, and I get "yeah yeah, that's what we do", but... I dunno.

I wish I could be a fly on the wall when DS is there and see just what he's up to xx

 

[LaceyKeo]

He was fine with the clock change so I don't think that was it...

When I was settling this routine with him 6:30 was the time he naturally decided on bed. He's had the odd later spell (by half hour to an hour) when he just has not been ready to go at 6:30, but even that is so rare...

I genuinely think it's a dad problem. Xx

 

[clairem1980]

Just as a completely different possibility... Has your son got his very back molars through? My DD1 slept brilliantly until 2 years old and then we had quite a few months of waking screaming at night while her four molars came through. Once they were through she went back to great sleep.

 

[LaceyKeo]

Never thought if that, and I'm honestly not sure.

He's just gone down for a nap, so Ima do the same. I'll have a look when we get up xx

 

[clairem1980]

I couldn't ever get close enough to check but just noticed one by fluke when she was up on a high changing table. Let us know

Ps very jealous of the siesta!