Reli long story but ths explains why i hate THE NHS lots!!
Experience 1,
(approx 7 years old)
As a child, the gromit operation.
As a child i always had ear infections and therfor the hospital recommended i had gromits put in me ears!
One time i remembered they put the "magic cream" on my hand said it would take the pain away for the needle, for the general anaethetic, anyway when it came to it, i remember it distinctivly absalutly hurting like hell! So the next time i said i wasnt having it, so as the room filled up with more and more operating staff and i still wasnt anethatised, i had about 6 people holding me down with a gas mask on so once i was put under they could inject me with the anesetic, anyway, this was really terrifying and yet did i know this wouldnt be my only encounter with beeing held down on the table. As a kid this absalutly made me terrified of both needles and hospitals.
Experience 2,
Duncan pregnancy 2004
This pregnancy ended up in caesarean section, (There were alot of problems with NHS through the pregnancy, read the birth story on duncans page for more info) When it came to the caesarean section, i was about to be sectioned when they asked for babies stuff and dean asked the theatre staff, "please wait for me to come back, she is terrified of needles" they ALL agreed " yeah ok " So then with Dean gone, i was advised to go into the anesetic room, then told to get on the bed, then before i knew anything it was all happening all over again, there i was beeing pinned down having needles stuck everywhere, screaming blue murder. Then dean came back to find me hysterical, i was screaming i didnt want it done, anyway before i knew it i was starting to have a panic attack and then they put me under.. When i woke i found 3 track marks on my right arm then for the drip to be finally placed in my hand, also found scrathes on the back of my neck. That night i was told to leave my baby crying and was very rudely spoken to aswel, read the birth story for more.
Experience 3
James pregnancy
Throughout this pregnancy i recieved constant bullying from the NHS reguarding MY birth choices i made, i wanted a home water birth after caesarean, oki did get it but all the emotional terror i went through was unbelievable, i was told id give birth to a dead baby and IF i was still alive id need a hysterectomy, all of which didnt come true, i knew the risks of uterine Rupture are VERY rare, and i was prepaired to take that chance i needed to do this for myself, sounds selfish but i knew if i went into hosp i wouldnt labour well and probably end up with a repeat caesarean of which i would avoid at all costs. I needed to know what labour was like, i wanted that rush of love you get, i wanted the experience. After the caesarean i practically hated my son for beeing breech i hated that i needed a caesarean i hated him. i didnt get that rush of love, just the hate. Within a week i realised that it was the midwifes fault for not doin her job properly and i then kissed him for the first time. I hate myself for hating him, he is my baby, my son my own flesh and blood and i know my own mum has done alot worse to us all but i am nothing like her and for having those feelings i can never forgive myself. I think of when i kissed him for the first time and hate it, hate why it was delayed, hate those thoughts i had. Anyway back to ths preg it was a constant battle. I am still not happy with the midwifes that attended as they just seemed to be talking among themself and not noticing what i was doing, but at the end of the day i got my birth i wanted and i loved it, and i will be doing it all ova again, in a few years tho!
Experience 4
"6 week check up"
As you all know i was going to the docs monday just gone..31 july 2006 for my "6 week check up" which was already a week late.. Anyway i yet again had a bad experience yet again, i am beggining to think that the NHS hate me, and that they all have a personal thrill out of scarin the shit out of me.. Anyway, the doctor concerned was insulting me constantly saying i must loose this weight, (uh-duh i dont intend on keepin it) then she told me to hop up on the bed to examine the tear, also i thought anyway it wasnt until i saw her with a silver tray with metal bits inside i totally freaked out jumping up crying asking her what she was gonna do, she didnt say anything, she wasnt even going to tell me what she was about to do, she drew the curtain so dean couldnt even comfort me, luckily i caught her just in time before she launched a massive thing up me, when im already still sore. i couldnt believe it, how she wouldnt have even mentioned what she was doing, i feel so sad, angry and really upset that i get mistreated all the time, from the time i had gromits put in when i was a child then the pregnancy in 2004 with duncan and this 2006 pregnancy and now this with the large metal thing, i dont even know what it was, dean said after it looked really long like a telescope. I was crying hysterically i am so fed up of beeing a human punch bag for the NHS. I now have no faith in the NHS anymore, its worse than before, now have become a strict dieter, im now a vegetarien cos of the things she was saying to me and dean isnt happy with her either , if i keel over and die its because i am not allowed to eat anything much and the breast feeding has taken it all outta me.
I will now add a new page about my hospital experiences so u can read and tell me what u think, weather u would trust the crappy NHS anymore or weather u would have given up trust in them ages ago, take care all n thanks for reading. xxx, trying to keep strong for the kids n my family but im slowley braking up til one day there will be nothing left of me but dust where i used to be.
Experience 1,
(approx 7 years old)
As a child, the gromit operation.
As a child i always had ear infections and therfor the hospital recommended i had gromits put in me ears!
One time i remembered they put the "magic cream" on my hand said it would take the pain away for the needle, for the general anaethetic, anyway when it came to it, i remember it distinctivly absalutly hurting like hell! So the next time i said i wasnt having it, so as the room filled up with more and more operating staff and i still wasnt anethatised, i had about 6 people holding me down with a gas mask on so once i was put under they could inject me with the anesetic, anyway, this was really terrifying and yet did i know this wouldnt be my only encounter with beeing held down on the table. As a kid this absalutly made me terrified of both needles and hospitals.
Experience 2,
Duncan pregnancy 2004
This pregnancy ended up in caesarean section, (There were alot of problems with NHS through the pregnancy, read the birth story on duncans page for more info) When it came to the caesarean section, i was about to be sectioned when they asked for babies stuff and dean asked the theatre staff, "please wait for me to come back, she is terrified of needles" they ALL agreed " yeah ok " So then with Dean gone, i was advised to go into the anesetic room, then told to get on the bed, then before i knew anything it was all happening all over again, there i was beeing pinned down having needles stuck everywhere, screaming blue murder. Then dean came back to find me hysterical, i was screaming i didnt want it done, anyway before i knew it i was starting to have a panic attack and then they put me under.. When i woke i found 3 track marks on my right arm then for the drip to be finally placed in my hand, also found scrathes on the back of my neck. That night i was told to leave my baby crying and was very rudely spoken to aswel, read the birth story for more.
Experience 3
James pregnancy
Throughout this pregnancy i recieved constant bullying from the NHS reguarding MY birth choices i made, i wanted a home water birth after caesarean, oki did get it but all the emotional terror i went through was unbelievable, i was told id give birth to a dead baby and IF i was still alive id need a hysterectomy, all of which didnt come true, i knew the risks of uterine Rupture are VERY rare, and i was prepaired to take that chance i needed to do this for myself, sounds selfish but i knew if i went into hosp i wouldnt labour well and probably end up with a repeat caesarean of which i would avoid at all costs. I needed to know what labour was like, i wanted that rush of love you get, i wanted the experience. After the caesarean i practically hated my son for beeing breech i hated that i needed a caesarean i hated him. i didnt get that rush of love, just the hate. Within a week i realised that it was the midwifes fault for not doin her job properly and i then kissed him for the first time. I hate myself for hating him, he is my baby, my son my own flesh and blood and i know my own mum has done alot worse to us all but i am nothing like her and for having those feelings i can never forgive myself. I think of when i kissed him for the first time and hate it, hate why it was delayed, hate those thoughts i had. Anyway back to ths preg it was a constant battle. I am still not happy with the midwifes that attended as they just seemed to be talking among themself and not noticing what i was doing, but at the end of the day i got my birth i wanted and i loved it, and i will be doing it all ova again, in a few years tho!
Experience 4
"6 week check up"
As you all know i was going to the docs monday just gone..31 july 2006 for my "6 week check up" which was already a week late.. Anyway i yet again had a bad experience yet again, i am beggining to think that the NHS hate me, and that they all have a personal thrill out of scarin the shit out of me.. Anyway, the doctor concerned was insulting me constantly saying i must loose this weight, (uh-duh i dont intend on keepin it) then she told me to hop up on the bed to examine the tear, also i thought anyway it wasnt until i saw her with a silver tray with metal bits inside i totally freaked out jumping up crying asking her what she was gonna do, she didnt say anything, she wasnt even going to tell me what she was about to do, she drew the curtain so dean couldnt even comfort me, luckily i caught her just in time before she launched a massive thing up me, when im already still sore. i couldnt believe it, how she wouldnt have even mentioned what she was doing, i feel so sad, angry and really upset that i get mistreated all the time, from the time i had gromits put in when i was a child then the pregnancy in 2004 with duncan and this 2006 pregnancy and now this with the large metal thing, i dont even know what it was, dean said after it looked really long like a telescope. I was crying hysterically i am so fed up of beeing a human punch bag for the NHS. I now have no faith in the NHS anymore, its worse than before, now have become a strict dieter, im now a vegetarien cos of the things she was saying to me and dean isnt happy with her either , if i keel over and die its because i am not allowed to eat anything much and the breast feeding has taken it all outta me.
I will now add a new page about my hospital experiences so u can read and tell me what u think, weather u would trust the crappy NHS anymore or weather u would have given up trust in them ages ago, take care all n thanks for reading. xxx, trying to keep strong for the kids n my family but im slowley braking up til one day there will be nothing left of me but dust where i used to be.
I'm sure they never did any of it to hurt you personally. As for the anesthetic, no one is usually allowed in the room with you, so I have been told. Regards the home birth, they were way out of line for saying those things to you, it's YOUR choice, they should give you the risks but maybe not so bluntly.
