Wish people would keep me out of their subconscious!

[mrspc]

Remember that woman in work who came up to me the other week and said she had dreamt I was pregnant and wearing an orange dress?

Well, today a different woman in work, again not someone I'm friends with, stopped me while I was mid-conversation with someone else to say she'd had a dream that I was 9 months pregnant!

OMG I felt paranoid that I'm giving out 'desperate for a baby' vibes that people are picking up on! Felt elated at first and then really depressed. I just said, 'Well I'm not any months pregnant'. ( Boo Hoo.)

When you've been trying for ages you realise how many people say things about being pregnant - I've even said things to people myself in the past, before I knew the reality of LTttc. I wish people would keep things to themselves but obviously, I know they don't mean any harm.

It had obviously just occurred to her that I would prob want a baby because I'm married and my age and all the either girls at work have had their babies - including her, she's just had a menopause baby - and so it was in her subconscious somewhere. It's shocking though, when people you hardly know suddenly mention something that is so sensitive!

 

[Kay Kay]

Oh mrspc I'm so with you on this! What is it with people, I'm sorry but esp people with children, they can't help themselves and must comment when a woman of child bearing age doesn't have a child. They must try and fit you in to a box, well she's childless now but maybe if I tell her I've dreamed she's pregnant it'll make her want one/it happen?! For all she knows you don't even want kids! Why can't people think before they speak? Oh it really hacks me off hun!

I'm feeling lots of pressure from everyone at the moment. I'm hoping to go to New York like yourself but in Nov for my mums 60th and an elderly aunt who is coming with us said to my mum 'kay might be pregnant by then' she has no idea that were trying so I found that really weird and it depressed me that there's so much expectation on me. Then another relative recently commented on a pic of me holding a friends baby on Facebook and said (and I quote) 'that baby suits you it is time!'. IT IS TIME? Oh is it? Thanks ever so much for highlighting that, I will get right to that, just cos you said so! how rude and inappropriate.

We just have to believe that this is making us stronger and more sensitive people. Hugs xxxx

Ps sorry for the long post, didn't realise how frustrated I was! Just could really relate to what you said x

 

[Corrinne37]

weird and spooky!! esp as from two diff people, think that would freak me out!
lets hope they are right!! xx

 

[Lara_M]

I am finding things like this really hard. I am kind of kicking myself for letting on to a couple of people that I am trying. I have a close friend at work who is a lovely person, but she is really really insensitive to my TTC feelings. Like, she is constantly going on about other girls in the office who are pregnant. Saying, oh god, have you seen how big this ones got, or how another girl's baby is kicking all the time. And sometimes I think "you are my friend, you know how hard this is for me, so why don't you just think before you speak!" I guess the truth is, people don't think and others just have no idea how this feels.

The other type of person that gets on my nerves is the "patronising person" You know the type. The person who goes "you just need to relax and it will happen naturally" ahhhhh that is so annoying.
And you even get the patronising just pregnant girls, who are like "you need to calm down, bla bla bla" and somehow because they are pregnant they are an expert on it all!!

ITs hard. ITs all just bloody hard x x x lots of love girls, I know we will get there, our bubs are waiting to come to us!!! I know it x

 

[tinselcat]

Grr it makes me mad when ppl are so insensitive. After i got married but while WTT, some idiot posted on my facebook wall

"Are you with child yet? If not, why not?"

If he'd posted that a year later after i'd been ttc for quite some time, would have really been upset by this.

P.s. i often have strange dreams, including about my work colleagues, but would never dare mention any of them to them! Why would preg-related be any different from other crazy dreams such that you felt the need to share?! Bah

 

[Kay Kay]

Oh tinselcat that is a bad one, who in their right mind would post that on facebook?? Makes me mad as hell that!!

I have to confess, whilst talking about dreams...I had a dream last year about a friend at work, that she told me she was preggers and was due in June. It was so vivid. I told her, cos she wasn't trying (as far as I knew) and we had a giggle...turns out she was pregnant! (still is) and is due end of May. So the baby may well arrive in June if she goes over by a week or 2. At the time I told her about the dream she was actually 15 weeks pregnant (I had no idea)but hadn't said anything to anyone in work cos she was having bleeding. She told me a couple of weeks later and said she nearly died when I told her about the dream! Lol But she wasn't annoyed or anything, I think it's just us LTTTC's that take these things badly. I know I would if it was me.

I used to get women (mothers) in work in my face all the time about getting pregnant after I got married but now no-one mentions it around me And I walk around all chirper even when I'm really sad cos I don't want to be the one that folk feel sorry for. I hate sympathy