why does he do this to me

[*saulino*]

Hi

I havent vented about my Bernie for months .
But tonight he phoned me at 545pm saying he will be leaving in 10 min to come home and then will only take an additional 10 to get home.
It is now 10pm i phone his friend at around 7 pm and his phone was shut off then i just phoned a few seconds ago and asked if Bernie was still with him and he said no he left around 7 pm and said he was going home , i said if you hear from him tell him to phone me as im really worried about him. His friend sounded like he was trying to lie and said oh well ill try to find him for you .. does that make sense? as he said he doesnt know where he is and this guy is the only friend he just made and doenst know anyoen we know.
A part of me knows hes probably pulling his shit again where he aint gonan come home till wee hours of the morning but the other part is worried somthing happened.
I cant believe he is doing this after the last time it ended up with him coming home and the cops were called as he was pissed and throwing things
I made us a nice dinner too and waited and waited when it came to Kiaras bedtime i just knew he wasnt coming cuz he never misses her bedtime.
I feels upset and i do not need this stress right now

I dont expect anyoen to reply to this just needed to vent as if i complain to family they will just lecture me and i dont want to hear it right now.

well was just going ot end this post and his friend phoned back saying have you heard from him i said no i have not ( i just spoke ot his friend 5 min ago) anyways he said he phoned a couple people and they said if they hear from him they will let me know , it doesnt make sense he doesnt know any one he knows?????
I am so confused. He then said Bernie was going to stay and watch the hockey game but he didnt and said he "TRIED" phoning before he left and i didnt answer said he figured i was in the bath which is crap as i was going in the bath when he left the house at 4pm and ive had the phone next to me all night.
anyways
Thanks girls
Katrina

 

[Nic'n'Keeley]

Hiya hun... men ay

did he turn up in the end where was he?

Hope your alrite

 

[mummykay]

aaarw u poor thing, u DEF dont need this now!!
i hope when he did roll in u made him sleep outside and have given him the silent treatment

 

[SarahH]

My hubby does this ALL the time.... it is so annoying!

I dont blame you for being worried...

I hope you gave him a good row when he got in and had the dinner in the dog and a blanket on the couch for him!

 

[Paula+bump]

What are they like!

It drives me insane if my OH does this not that he does anymore, in our younger days he did a couple of times, until i did the same and walked out and didn't come back for hours and he went out of his mind looked for me in the car on foot, it was pouring with rain, i could see him all the time, made him think though....They don't like it when the shoe is on the other foot that's for sure but seem to think it's ok to do it to you....

Hope he turned up and you gave him what for !!

 

[Emmylou]

Awww sweetie - I hope he has turned up safe and that you gave him a good telling when he finally made it back - men

It doesn't help but they are all the bl**dy same, my DH will quite often say he'll be back about midnight if he's out, then roll in at 3am

 

[Snuggle]

I hope he got home ok and you gave him a good old talking to!

Men are useless sometimes, they just dont think (you read my thread about my disappearing hubby recently )

Hope you're ok hun

 

[krystal&jack]

HI Hun,

Hope you managed to sort things out and he didn't stay out too late. Your right you don't need the worry! lots of

 

[*saulino*]

Hi

Thanks girls means alot to be able to be able to vent
He got in about 1130ish. I had gotten a call 20 min after the last one and Bernie had gone back to his friends house to ask for beers and his friend said no and said ide been trying ot get ahold of him and that he should go home to his family .. so Bernie said ok ya ill drop my friend off and i guess i should go home.
So when he did come home he said like all the other times sorry i didnt call , i have no excuse and dont know why i did it.
I then relied do you honeslty think that im sorry and what you just said is gonna make everything okay everytime.
he said everytime? i said yes this has been about the 5th time and im sick of it i dont need this right now i shouldnt have to sit at home and worry about you .
after that he sat down at the comp quietly , 20 min later he said you want to go to bed so i said guess and we went upstairs,
I crawled in and turned my back to him he said i love you and gave me a kiss so i said i love you back ( we never go to bed without saying it)
He then cuddled up to me and passed out within 5 min (he was drunk)
so i then pushed him over to the edge of the bed as i didnt want him on me.
I cried for about an hour then fell asleep.
Then this morning he wakes up , moaning and groaning as though i should feel sorry for him so instead i got up took our dog out then siad bye to him as he was leaving to work.
Usually i sit and talk then watch him out as he leaves but i did not do that this morning so im sure he knows im really upset this time.

I will be talking to him when he gets home but i have to make him realize there is no excuse for this and he cannot be doing this all it does is stress me ut and it is not fair and if i ever did this to him he would react 100 times worse then i do. I can only take so much of this crap before i have enough.


Well sorry for the long post but thats the story so far , i dont knwo where he was or who what guy he was with but im sure i will find out when he gets home later..

Thansk again girls you great
Katrina

 

[OverTheMoon]

flippin eck this is a mirror of my life right now! My husband is a 'sociable' guy who likes a beer or two but recently goes out practically every day straight from work and comes in just as I'm putting our son to bed, this is very hard for me as i find the whole pre-bedtime thing quite stressful and very tiring. So we had words and I said please try to come home and help me feed our son, bath him and put him to bed and he said yes but no change yet.
Its so frustrating i am constantly worried he has had an accident or having an affair (even tho i know he wouldn't it still crosses my mind) and i wonder why are we not worth it???
I wonder if they feel the need to 'spread their wings' before the baby comes as if to prove they still can, just for the sake of it? I wish they'd give more thought to us, the mother of their child(ren).
Anyway I'm ranting along here so I'll just wish you all the best and hope that things improve soon for you. I'm sympathising with you all the way!!! Good luck xx

 

[*saulino*]

Hi

Thanks hun sorry your going through such a similar situation.
I almost think they try and test us or somthing?
Then when he tells me he wants to go out with the boys he wonders why i dont want him to because this is what i go through.
I felt so bad for Kiara too she was waiting by the door half hour before bedtime saying dada and pointing as she hadent seen him all day
Like you i worry he got in an accident everytime i heard a siren last night my heart sank having an affair has crossed my mind but in the end i know he wouldnt do it he would end it first .
I hope your situation gets better and if you ever want to chat or vent feel free to pm me

Katrina

 

[Sarah&Braydon]

awww hun so sorry he has done this to u again i hope u get a good hun