Will he walk away?

[pickle5972]

I found out I was pregnant last Tuesday, it was totally unexpected as I was on the pill, using condoms and have PCOS and told my chances of getting pregnant naturally were slim.

My boyfriend has been in complete denial for the last week (avoiding the massive elephant in the room) I had an emergency dating scan yesterday and I am 5 weeks; he didnt come with me (as he couldnt get the time off work) but when I told him he went so weird.

I know this wasnt planned, but in my mind it is not unwanted. He is moving away in a couple of weeks and has said that this just doesnt fit in with his 'plans'. He is 29 and I am 22, we have been together 6months.

He said last night that he needs some time to get his head around things as its finally hitting him. He said that he is so angry as he knows he should be happy...is there anything I can do? I am so scared that I am going to loose him over my miracle baby x

 

[Xcitedmum]

Just give him some time. He sounds like a reasonable guy in that he is nnoyed with himself for not being happy about it. He has naturally got a shock and his first reaction is fear - which is ok, alot of men feel like this at the start.

All you can do is give him time and space to get used to it - don't force it down his throat and start making big plans about the future, it seems things will have to progress in baby sized steps for him to reach up to where you are mentally about it x

 

[Squeakz]

Omg I was told the same about slim chances at natural conception and fell pregnant. I'd been married for 6 months when we found out and oh was the same. It is a massive thing for him just as is for you and at least he's been honest and said he needs some time to come round etc!!!!he sounds like a good 'un!! Bare with him..... Don't force him to talk about it but keep him updated etc and try and be as 'normal' as poss!! Much love XxX

 

[Maria1977]

Just reiterating what the girls have said really. Time and space to let him process this big news and fingers crossed he'll accept it in his own time. Unfortunately that's all you can do really.

BTW congrats on your little one xxx

 

[Bexybun]

First off, congratulations!

Just wanted to say my OH and I have been together 2 years, he took on my 4 year old just like she's his own, and has been a fantastic dad from the beginning. But when we found out about this baby he was completely knocked for six. Even though it was a complete (happy) accident, I thought we were stable enough emotionally etc, and we'd be fine, whereas he completely freaked out, lol! I laugh about it now, but it was horrible to watch him just completely ignore this huge news and basically bury his head in the sand. Anyway, my point is I gave him his space, let it sink in and now he's so happy, and more excited than me, I think! Sometimes it takes them a while to get their heads round it, especially because they're not going through any of the physical aspects. Give him time, I'm sure he'l be fine once he's over the shock. x

 

[TiffanyJaynexo]

Congratulations on your little miracle

Like the other girls said just give him some time. I really don't think there's anything you can do other than just be the girl he knows and cares about. That way he can get a picture of what his future will be like. If you get angry with him or become obsessed with him, that might drive him away.

My cousin and his girlfriend found out she was pregnant a few weeks ago, it wasn't planned but they finally go their heads around it and are so excited to be parents. They went abroad on holiday recently and unfortunately she started bleeding, her mum transferred £200 to her daughters back account for a check-up in the hospital, it would have cost £700 for an emergency ultrasound scan. They're coming back on Monday and are having a scan with the hospital here immediately. Although their baby wasn't planned, they'd be heartbroken if they get bad news.

I wish you all the best xxx

 

[LouiseB]

I think your best bet is to try and stay as neutral as you can, but let him know that you would like for him to stay

He seems like the twitchy sort and if you try to insist or manipulate him, he might just flee the scene completely.

I think it would be smart to get as much contact information for his relatives - his mum, his dad, his siblings etc - just in case he tries to dodge his financial responsibility with him moving away.

Besides that, try to enjoy your pregnancy and your miracle baby and keep your fingers crossed that he sees sense before it's too late

 

[isobel84]

Hun my oh did not talk to me about it until we went to the 12 weeks scan, then he took my hand looming at the screen, big smile on his lips.
Give him time xx