Why do I feel like this???!!!

[hellywelly]

My niece gave birth to a baby boy this morning and I'm absolutely delighted for her. No weight yet but he is called Alfie and is gorgeous.

BUT

My SIL has just phoned and told me all the details as she was at the birth, and turns out she had a lovely water birth, has no stitches and he latched on and is breastfeeding really well. I'm so pleased for her, but I'm so ashamed to say I feel upset and jealous at the same time. I was desperate for a water birth and had my baby in the same hospital and they only have one, and as I had such a quick labour someone was in it the whole time and I didn't even get given a room where I could have a bath!! Also it's brought back all the feelings of failure I had after Evie's feeding difficulties and the fact I could only express breast feed for two weeks.

I'm so pleased she got everything on her birth plan but it's made me even more pissed off that I got nothing on mine. Ok, I just needed to vent and get it out, I'll be absolutely fine in 5 mins. It's nice knowing that I can do that here. And at the end of the day I have a beautiful baby girl who is absolutely gorgeous and how she came out doesn't matter, it just matters that she got here safely.

 

[Mrs. KM]

I think it is normal... At least I hope it is! I have had a few friends give birth since I have and they have all had it easier in my eyes, especially with breastfeeding and having babies who don't cry all the time like mine did. I am happy for them, but also a little resentful of the fact that they seem to be enjoying the first few weeks so much more than I did. I guess we just have to remember that we went through everything to have the perfect little babies we have now xx

 

[BabyBrain]

you big silly lol, it's natural to look at other births and bf experiences and feel jealous. Well I hope it is cos I get it too. I didn't get the experience I wanted but I think everything happens for a reason. Would you have preferred a quick birth on a bed or a 50 hour labour marathon in a birthing pool with a midwife wearing a snorkel? xxxxxxxx

 

[beckyboo1]

Let it all out that's what we're here for!

I know it's slightly different but kinda understand how you feel as being induced kinda feels like i didn't get what I wanted either

Cute name though!!

 

[hellywelly]

Lol, as normal ladies you make me feel better!! I suppose I can't moan about a 4 and a half hour labour!! I had a little cry on OH when he got home and he says we can have a homebirth with my own pool next time so I know it will be free!! lol. My sensitive SIL has sent me some photos - including one with my niece breastfeeding, and a text saying that the feeding is going so well she doesn't need to stay in tonight, especially as she doesn't have stitches or anything!! I had to stay in two nights and it was awful!! Ha ha. Laughing about it now and can't wait to go and see him.

 

[hellywelly]

P.S. His name is actually Alphonso as she is married to a Spanish guy and it is tradition to call the first born son after the father, so feel a bit sorry that she got no choice in the name - at least Alfie is popular at the moment!

 

[BellaRiven]

I know exactly how your feeling, I get this way with some of the NCT ladies when we meet up for coffee, I am especially envious of the ones who have successfully managed to BF as it was so hard for us to do.

Xxx

 

[Jayceesmumma]

I 'failed' to feed both my eldest daughters and when my sister had my niece she managed to bf successfully.. It had been almost 5 years and I still felt jealous lol!! It's silly but hard to not want what someone else had! Thankfully I successfully bf lily for four months so I'm v proud like ur OH said, next time you can ensure you get what u want xx

 

[Hunnie]

I still find it hard when people have natural births and I ended up with a c section. It's a real sore point for me and I still feel robbed.

 

[AndreaJayne]

Don't put yourself down hun as my HV said any breast milk is better than none. I planned to have a water birth was in the pool but got out 30 mins b4 I had him, I was so disappointed it was not as relaxing or as nice as I had expected, I had dimmed lights n everything... Personally I think it's hyped up so your not missing anything much. I did it gas n air water did nothing for me n my lil boy was born on the bed xx each birth is special and I am sure everyone has some things they regret or wish were different xxx