Feel Rubbish :(

[Rachaellius]

It just feels like all Phoebe does is cry and I just keep feeling like it's all my fault

I know it's mainly down to the colic and she's often constipated, but I've tried everything to try and ease it, I give her the odd bit of water when she's constipated and I've changed her formula to Aptamil Comfort milk, I tried Infacol for a week, and I tried gripe water but none of it seems to give any relief. So as of yesterday I've got some colief drops as a few people had recommended it. I'm going to give that a week or so and see how she gets on with that.

But all she seems to do is eat, sleep and cry. She very rarely has moments where she's awake and just contented. She cries in her sleep sometimes too and it's so distressing.

At the moment my OH is at home as he quit his job the other week and starts another job on wednesday and we just keep arguing, which I suppose isn't helping either. But at the same time I'm dreading him starting his new job because it means he'll be out of the house for 12 hours a day and I just don't know how I'm going to cope I can't really talk to him about it though because he's really excited about starting there and obviously he needs the job and it's brilliant money.

I dunno I'm just feeling like I'm doing a really crap job and like I'm not good enough
Does anyone else ever have times like this?

Sorry about the moan, just needed to get it out xxx

 

[MrsR]

Firstly you're doing a brilliant job otherwise you wouldn't be asking for help xxx do you have a sling? Sebastian was a colicky baby and the only thing that helped him was being in the moby wrap. None of the colic medicine things helped him at all xxx he also was really constipated on his milk (SMA) and we switched to HIPP organic and that sorted him out pretty much straight away xxx arguing def wont be helping but is really common especially with lack of sleep xxx can OH have phoebe for an afternoon for you so you can catch up on a little bit of sleep or just have a bit of time to yourself? You need a break too and I always find new mummies either forget this or feel guilty and that they don't 'deserve' it as its their baby iygwim? Xxx you're a fabby mummy and I promise this stage will end although it doesn't seem like that now xxx hope this helps a little bit xxx

 

[MrsR]

And yes I had moments like this too! Especially when DH went back to work xxx

 

[Lisa_85]

I've felt the same, Issac doesn't have colic but finds it hard to pass bring for bf baby, i put him on his belly and after a few mins he normally burps or parps, he has been constipated this week too and cried for ages with a bad belly.

I've joked with close family he is a miserable baby cos all he seemed right do was eat sleep poop or cry, he never seemed awake and content. But he just started smiling and showing an interest in things.

We don't live with daddy so i do feel like 5/7 data I'm a single mum and even the other 2 i pretty much do it all anyway but that's because I'm spending more time with Issac than him and know some of his cries.

Ur doing a great job, don't doubt yourself! Some days seem harder and demanding compared to others but the easy and good days make up for lack if sleep and fussy feeding (Issac) and get you prepared for the next tiring day lol

Hope u get some rest and u will feel so much better xx

 

[Lisa_85]

I've felt the same, Issac doesn't have colic but finds it hard to pass bring for bf baby, i put him on his belly and after a few mins he normally burps or parps, he has been constipated this week too and cried for ages with a bad belly.

I've joked with close family he is a miserable baby cos all he seemed right do was eat sleep poop or cry, he never seemed awake and content. But he just started smiling and showing an interest in things.

We don't live with daddy so i do feel like 5/7 data I'm a single mum and even the other 2 i pretty much do it all anyway but that's because I'm spending more time with Issac than him and know some of his cries.

Ur doing a great job, don't doubt yourself! Some days seem harder and demanding compared to others but the easy and good days make up for lack if sleep and fussy feeding (Issac) and get you prepared for the next tiring day lol

Hope u get some rest and u will feel so much better xx

 

[positivity :)]

Aw rach I can totally see why you are feeling crap, I'd be the same under that kind of pressure

The only thing that helps me when I'm finding things hard is that it won't last and will get better. Ur a great mummy, don't doubt urself xx

 

[Lisa_85]

Sorry my predictive txt is crap lol x

 

[titch]

Please try not blame yourself for this. Colic truly is awful for baby and the parents. Its very very stressful and can drive you insane if you dont take a break.

I found colief in aptimil comfort milk was a brilliant solution for us. I hope that it helps for you. A bit of a tip, if you make it up in advance for the fridge, you only need to use 2 drops instead of 4. So it lasts twice as long. Its so expensive, you need all the tips you can get!

 

[Rachaellius]

Thanks girls I suppose it's just finding something that works. I really hope the colief in comfort milk does work.

MrsR - Thankyou, I was actually thinking of getting a sling because I can be walking around for ages sometimes with her tummy pressed up against my chest because the warmth seems to soothe her a little bit and it'll be easier to do housework and make up feeds when OH goes back to work. Can you recommend a good one? Are the moby ones any good, they seem quite expensive but if it helps it'll defo be worth it xxx

 

[MrsR]

I only tried the moby but it was fantastic! Best purchase ever ever ever and totally worth the money just for helping with colic alone (though it came in so handy for school run too!) xxx they can be expensive but you can get great deals in second hand ones xxx or inbox me and I could lend you mine (I would need it back though for if we have another baby) I don't have the instruction booklet though xxx I know princess (Jayne) has just got one so you could ask her for her opinion?

 

[Rachaellius]

Brilliant thankyou, I'll have a word with Jayne see if its helped cos I know Cameron suffers with colic too. I've seen some quite reasonably priced ones on ebay. Thanks hun xx

 

[Cantstop]

My LO was like this for months - it does get you down thinking they're just not as happy as other babies. I haven't really got any useful advice as we tried everything and tbh nothing really worked. I couldn't understand how any other mum's got anything done as I literally couldn't leave her for 5 minutes. Life was a constant 'stopping Lily from crying' saga. We saw two paediatricians and a few doctors but the conclusion was just colic, and the solution - she'll grow out of it eventually, which doesn't seem like much of a comfort at the time.

When your OH starts his new job it will probably get a bit easier - I found (still do!) that when OH is at work I can just get on with things, whereas when he's off I kind of expect help and when he doesn't help how I want it winds me up even more and stresses me more. Hope that makes sense and it's not just me!

And finally a big ray of light - when the colic finally passes you'll see what a happy lovely baby you've got! Lily never used to smile at anyone except us, and whenever anyone saw her she just seemed to be a misery but now she's a little delight, SO much fun and just amazing. It's really hard but you have to keep reminding yourself it's nothing you're doing wrong and it's not personal, and you're obviously a lovely mum to be worrying and trying everything you can.

Also, I have a pdf copy of the moby instructions if you would like them, I could email you them. Inbox me your email address if they'll be useful xx

 

[Princess81]

Oh Rach I could've written that myself it's destroying isn't it? Camerons already started kicking off so I've not gone to bed yet and with only a few hours sleep last night I am ready to drop!!
I have just managed to put him down long enough to get the moby wrap on and yes he's fallen to sleep but I can't stay standing all night. But the sling defo contents him. There's a really good YouTube clip of how to use it you search for "getting your baby into the moby"
I do feel your pain, it's relentless x

 

[Rachaellius]

Brilliant I think I'm going to get one then
I'm feeling a bit better today, we had a slightly better nights sleep. I think the colief might be starting to work
I think tiredness makes everything worse, although I do have a stinking cold now, hoping I don't pass it on and make her more unsettled

Thankyou so much girlies, you're all fab!!!
xxx