Feel like giving up bf :'(

Discussion in 'Baby & Toddler' started by Jayceesmumma, Feb 15, 2012.

  1. Jayceesmumma

    Jayceesmumma Well-Known Member

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    I know she's fed well today but it's still a problem in the night.. She doesn't empty me in the morning and I feel like the remains are carried over to the next feed, especially as when I expressed the rest she wasn't getting enough at the next feed.. Been trying to feed her for over an hour and she got the let down and that's it.. I expressed barely half an oz which she took and wanted more so I caved and made her some formula :cry: she took 2oz and seemed like she was comfort sucking so I stopped and gave her her dummy to settle with.. Feel like I'm failing bf.. I can't even express her any! Got some fenugreek on the way in the post how long will that take to work?? Do I start on a small dose and work my way up or go ahead and take the full amount? Can I take too much??
    I'm desperate to produce more and it breaks my heart I can't satisfy her after her morning feed.. Hate giving her formula but I think is it better to just give in and switch to formula?? Getting her weighed tomorrow and I'm dreading it :(
     
  2. l_maclean

    l_maclean Well-Known Member

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    Is there no support group near you? Could you ask ur mw if there's someone able to help. Xxx
     
  3. traci

    traci Well-Known Member

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    I'll tell you how I did things, bear in mind I had to give up BF. It could all work differently for you

    I made sure I ate well, 3 meals a day and snacks in between. Plenty of fluids, I seemed to crave tea while LO was feeding strange! Try to relax while feeding, I'm sure me stressing over it didn't help. I tried fenugreek, started off on the lower dose but that didn't make much difference to me so I upped it and it still didn't work. I tried expressing in between feeds to help, got maybe 2-3oz a day! In the end I was only managing the morning feed and then still having to top up with formula.

    Your not failing! Your doing your best and no one can expect anything else, that includes you. I know how you feel about it. Don't beat yourself up about it, do what you feel LO needs

    :hugs:
     
  4. Olive

    Olive Well-Known Member

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    You're doing an amazing job hun. Never doubt that :hug: xxx
     
  5. Sarah13

    Sarah13 Well-Known Member

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    Your doing great don't give up yet! She's only just got her tongue tie sorted remember so it will take time for both your body to adjust and her tongue to heal properly. The more formula you give her the less milk you will make. Will she comfort suckle on you? Allowing her to do this even when she's not getting anything will increase your supply and give her practice. When they go through growth spurts they suckle for ages to send messages to your body to increase the milk its producing then they settle down again after a few days.
    Fenugreek took about 3 days before i noticed a difference maybe take one with each meal? Drink loads but try to avoid caffeine as it passes through your milk and makes babies agitated, i drink chocolate oat milk its lovely if you like chocolate milk shake and have swapped tea for fruit tea.
    Your doing brilliant, just keep on offering the boob lots and try not to worry about her weight check just explain the tongue tie thing. Def look for that bf group for more support too. There are a few online support groups but Im on my phone so I'll add the links in the morning incase you don't have them. Hang in there you've done so well x

    Sent from my GT-I9100 using Tapatalk
     
  6. Sarah13

    Sarah13 Well-Known Member

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  7. Kbex

    Kbex Well-Known Member

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    You should do what you feel is best for you and your little one. I know it's not s popular opinion but if that's topping up, switching to formula or carrying on bfing only you know what's right. I know it's easier said than done, I stopped feeding my eldest at 18 weeks, but you shouldnt feel guilty about whatever choice you make. You have given your lo the best start in life it's now about doing what's best for the two of you. A stressed and unhappy mummy isn't good for her. There's some interesting articles about formula feeding on a website called fearless formula feeder (well there were a couple of years ago and I assume they are still there). If you do want to continue bfing how are you doing it. With my eldest I was told I had to make sure ahe drained one side before switching. I mentioned I was trying to do this with Georgia (my lo) but was struggling as she liked to switch and flick between sides. Apparently this is now fine. There has been latest research that shows babies sometimes flick as they are thirstiest so want more foremilk and also every feed they will get a mixture of both fore and hind milk. So for the last 8 weeks I have been letting her chose and on general she takes from both. I offer her the boob that feels the fullest or the one she took the least from last time first. I mentioned this latest research to a friend who also has a two year old every day. She had to express a d top up with him due to reduced supply on advice of hv. She thinks it was the making him stay and drain the first boob that reduced her supply as he gave up with frustration. She thinks had she swapped around during a feed it would be better. Might be worth a try. I always think that bfing is such a natural thing we should be guided by what the lo's do. Animals don't have hvs and if their lo's wanted to flick between they would let them! X
     
  8. Jayceesmumma

    Jayceesmumma Well-Known Member

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    Thank you all so much, thank you for the links Sarah :) gonna find a support group for after half term is over hoping that will help.. She won't comfort suck in me which I find really strange!! She loves her dummy.. If she's sucking on me and not getting milk she gets upset.. I switch her every time she gets frustrated and refuses to take from that side..
    The mw who done her tongue suggested compression but I can't even get that right :(
    I love the morning feed as I know I'm satisfying her.. I try and feed her as often as I can in the day but if it's too soon after the last feed she won't even get foremilk :(
    I know topping up with formula will only decrease my supply and she needs to suckle to produce more but she just won't :( plus she's not 100% latched on yet do not stimulating the right areas for production..
    I'm defo gonna try the fenugreek I'm gonna do everything I can!! If I do everything I won't feel so bad.. Mil will be happier!! :mad:
    I've been eating alot better these past two weeks, four meals a day and lots of snacks in between! Whereas before I barely ate, just snacks and dinner :(
    Thank u all so much :hug:
     
  9. Sarah13

    Sarah13 Well-Known Member

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    Aww your having such a hard time, you must be so frustrated. Your trying your hardest and you really can't do anymore than that. Just feed her when you can and enjoy those feeds, try not to stress the rest of the time, she's had a lot of goodness from you so far and the support groups might still have techniques or advice for you. Hopefully the fenugreek will get your supplies up in the next day or so. Don't let your mil get to you either, her constant pressure to ff probably isn't helping you either as the more stressed we are the more likely our supplies will drop. Fx Lilyanna has a weight gain today x
     
  10. Kbex

    Kbex Well-Known Member

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    Fingers crossed for weigh in today. Was speaking to one of my husband's friends yesterday. One of their sons went from 96th to 9th percentile over 6 months. He was born ten days late at over ten pounds. He was always ff so the usual hv line of topping up didn't work. He was healthy happy baby and is now a healthy happy average weight 18 month old. He was just finding his natural weight. I understand that the weight loss is more worrying but fingers crossed she will have gained something x
     
  11. star fish

    star fish Well-Known Member

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    Sweetie, try not to give in and use formula otherwise you wont produce enough milk! Let her suck even if its dry for just a couple of days and your body will adjust and produce tons more milk. My baby likes to comfort suck and as a consequence i now produce far too much milk, which makes for really painful engorged breasts that start leaking at the tiniest sound from him. Just hang in there as your body will compensate! I know its hard when she's hungry but she will be fine.

    The only thing i can advise that will help very quickly is drink tons of water before you feed and during, the more liquid you consume the easier it will flow xxx
     
  12. Jayceesmumma

    Jayceesmumma Well-Known Member

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    Thanks everyone :)
    Thanks star I will give the fluids while feeding a try.. She won't comfort suck on me when she's not getting anything from me she gets angry and upset.. I tried for well over an hour last night and even tried expressing and got about half oz and fed her that and she still wouldn't settle :( I'm feeding her again now since her last feed at 3 so if I keep trying to feed her often maybe that will help.. Fenugreek didn't arrive today :( hopefully tomorrow!! Should I take full dose straight away??
    Dr said they don't go on the birth centile line they go on what they settle at after, so to them she's gone from 25th to 9th, but to hvs they include birth one and so she's dropped from 50th.. Hv said leave weighing for two weeks if she hasn't got to the 25th by then (12.12) I'll have to top her up.. She said they don't care about weight it's about what line she's on for her age and what she was born.. She weighed 10.11 two weeks ago, 10.09 last week and 10.12 today which I was happy with but the hv wasn't :( so much conflicting advice :(
     
  13. Jayceesmumma

    Jayceesmumma Well-Known Member

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    She was kind enough to give me some vitamin drops free tho :)
     
  14. Hollipops

    Hollipops Well-Known Member

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    Whatever you decide to do you are not letting anyone down, you've done brilliantly to bf at all. I had to express and stopped after a month as I wasn't expressing enough and I was a crying wreck! Definitely try a support group, I have heard great things about them x
     
  15. Jayceesmumma

    Jayceesmumma Well-Known Member

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  16. lewisca

    lewisca Well-Known Member

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    U have done brilliant hun !! Don't b so hard on yourself ! What ever happens u have given lily an amazing start to life. Things will work out for the best for u and lily xxx


     
  17. Sarah13

    Sarah13 Well-Known Member

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    That's a lot of weight to expect her to put on in 2 weeks! As long as she keeps increasing it shouldn't be a problem surely? And their birth percentile shouldn't be followed as all babies are born being fed 24 hours a day while in the womb, it should be the percentile they settle on. At least she went up and your taking all the right steps to help her. I would take the full dose of fenugreek straight away if I was you then drop it to a low level to maintain your supply. I just take one a day to give me a boost. It will take a few days to work though. Hang in there xx

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  18. Jayceesmumma

    Jayceesmumma Well-Known Member

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    Thanks babe!
    Yeah that's what the gp said! The centile she settles on is the one to follow.. And the fact she has gained weight has made me feel so much better but then the hv said it wasn't enough and she needs to be on the 25th again by two weeks or I'll have to top up.. Its defo alot to ask of her isnt it! Told her I got her tongue cut myself n she said it can cause probs feeding and she will prove whether it was a problem or not after two weeks.. Fucking pressure or what?! Even if she doesn't gain her expected weight doesn't mean the tie cut wasn't worth it! She's doing better at latching on just fed her and her bottom lip actually touched under my nipple :cheer: rather than just sucking the nipple part :cheer:

    Can I over do it with the fenugreek??
     
  19. Sarah13

    Sarah13 Well-Known Member

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    HV often sound like stuffy old school teachers with their 'rules' don't they! I would do what you want depending on how she gets on, it doesn't seem right to fill them up on formula for the sake of it, obviously if they are continuing to lose that's different. Kynon put on 3lb in 4 weeks and he's a right greedy porker so 2lb would be a lot for her to put on in 2 weeks! Im not sure if you can take too much fenugreek maybe Google it or speak to a herbalist.
    Oh and well done Lilyanna!
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  20. Cantstop

    Cantstop Well-Known Member

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    As long as she's gaining I wouldn't worry about the centiles x
     

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