Who persuaded who?

[Dotty_woman]

It was mutual with our first 7 children. I really had to convince DH to try for #8 though, and even then I think he only agreed because we both thought I was unable to have more children!

As for anymore in the future, the jury is out. Some days we both say yes, others he says no or I say no. LOL We're waiting until we can come to a joint and sustained decision on yes or no!

Wow! Now that is something Mum2Many! And to think I'm struggling to get the OK for 4! Good luck btw! x

 

[Dotty_woman]

I've always wanted kids more - hubby is happy either way. Initially in the early days he said never again ha!! He's slowly come round and decided we will see what happens. He still says he's happy if we only have one and happy if we have 2.

Have you had anymore conversations about it? How are you feeling xx

Laura, I just can't seem to bring it up in a proper conversation. Last night's belly bump hug was the best I've done since the first attempt:


Please
No
Please
No
Please
No
Please please please please please
No (+chuckle)

Didn't work.

Vi is going to be staying overnight at Chris's mums on Saturday which will be the first night she's been away from home. Think we might be going out for a meal. Maybe I'll try again then! Feeling mixed emotions at the moment and am hoping I'm not being stupid. Still have an overwhelming urge for 1 more though! xxx

 

[Lyllian]

Aw best of luck dotty I really really hope he comes round will be keeping everything crossed on Saturday that it's the turning point

 

[Rooster30]

First time around, I persuaded him. He's a stubborn man, so doubt he'd have agreed unless he wanted a baby too.

Second time around, I raised the subject but in no way put any pressure. We had such a tough time with our son as a newborn that I didn't want to force anything and would understand if he'd be reluctant. He was pretty easy going about it, but I put on hold our original plans to TTC for no.2. We were going to try for a Sept/Oct 2014 baby but my son was being a horrendous sleeper at the time so I backed out and wanted 6 months to really enjoy my son (I had PND, but just recovered from it) and my house without worrying about TTC and the subsequent sickness! OH, was very relaxed about it all and now we're expecting in April.

 

[H16]

I would try and really put across how much you want a similar aged sibling for your little girl and how much it means to you. You never know maybe he will surprise you. The fact he laughed gave me a little hope as clearly he is not angry about you mentioning it again..... x

 

[Flickalicious]

Our son was a surprise, we were both young, carefree uni students and although we both wanted children together in the future, he wasn't planned We tried over 3 years (started as soon as we were able after our son was born) for our second and after alot of sh!t, im currently 38+4 weeks ^-^ Hubby says he wants to keep getting me pregnant (freakin' loves it lol) and we'd *like* at least 4. I was the instigator in the beginning, mentioning the possibility of children but he is very keen on having a big family! xXx

 

[Dotty_woman]

Thank you so much everyone for sharing your stories. It's been interesting reading. It's been so nice to hear that in a lot of cases it was the man who wanted children and that gives me some hope. Last night's TV was playing in my favour. We ended up both watching something called Catastrophe about a couple who got pregnant after a fling, Knocked Up was on the film guide and flicked onto some bloke discussing getting pregnant with his missus which raised a chuckle and what looked like an eye roll. I'm hanging in there! Fliss, I'm sorry to hear you're put off having another baby because of your difficult journey but I hope you get a chance to expand your family, either by adoption or if you decide to give it another go. Either way, I wish you all the best. xxx

 

[Iwant3]

I was fine until my brother in law and his girlfriend were pregnant, then suddenly I went from thinking we weren't going to have kids - to wanting a bfp right then and there! lol.....so I convinced DH.

We thought we were done after our son, but I was broody when he was 2! we tried kittens, they didn't work lol....so my daughter was born when our son was 3y9m!

I was broody again when she was 16 months but I convinced myself that was it and we wasn't having any more. Then when she was 2.5 I had convinced myself we could have another baby - and the deciding factor was during DTD my DH said he wanted to make me pregnant! so the next morning I discussed with him what I was thinking - and he agreed straight away and we came off the pill that night!

I now have a 10 month old. If the broodyness comes knocking this time, I'll defo have to do something about it as I cannot go through ttc and pregnancy and baby days again.....

 

[mrssmith2011]

Our little boy was a mutual decision and I have decided we are not having any more. Hubby is happy to go along with that x

 

[Lyllian]

How did it to tonight? X

 

[JJ Mum]

Excited to know how you got on last night Dotty?

I'm loving the fact that he chuckled.... Having been the only pursuader in my house all these years for my 5 kids, i'd say you managed to get a foot in the door there....xxx

 

[flisstebbs]

Fliss, I'm sorry to hear you're put off having another baby because of your difficult journey but I hope you get a chance to expand your family, either by adoption or if you decide to give it another go. Either way, I wish you all the best. xxx

Too late now, hubby not only convinved but also did the biz whilst I was getting my head round the idea, bfp last night!

 

[Dotty_woman]

Didn't get up the guts to say anything whilst we were out! Aargh! Got home to find eldest son watching a film. He didn't go to bed until gone midnight and this lead tone going into the kitchen to vent my frustration. OH could tell something was bothering me although he asked in quite an aggressive manner which didn't help. I said it wasn't anything I could do anything about and that I felt very emotional. He said "you're not still on about a baby are you?". Unfortunately I welled up at this point and told him how much I love him and that I couldn't help how I felt. We just had a hug for quite a while and nothing more was said. However we have now DTD twice in 12 hours. That's unheard of. Might still be hope. fx xxx

 

[Dotty_woman]

Fliss, I'm sorry to hear you're put off having another baby because of your difficult journey but I hope you get a chance to expand your family, either by adoption or if you decide to give it another go. Either way, I wish you all the best. xxx

Too late now, hubby not only convinved but also did the biz whilst I was getting my head round the idea, bfp last night!

Oh wow Fliss! That's amazing news. Congrats! I have my fingers crossed for a lovely sticky bean for you! Xxx

 

[LD1978]

Aww dotty hope your ok. Sounds to me like all is not lost. I bet he really doesn't realise how important it is to you. Especially the flippant comment about are you still on about the baby - he obviously thinks you can forget just like that.

Plus the chuckle with your other conversation also sounds promising. I know it's hard but would be good if you could pluck up the courage for a heart to heart. Xx

 

[flisstebbs]

I think he'll come round Sounds promising....

 

[Dotty_woman]

I'm running out of time! xxx

 

[Dotty_woman]

We had the whole day together on our own on Sunday but still nothing. I was trying to find the right time but it just didn't seem to come round. Then in the end last night when the kids had gone to bed and we were watching telly he said "You look miserable, what's up?" What the fuck does he think is up? It has been really hard for me to even bring this up but for him to not realise what is up after the last few days is beyond a joke. I needed to get out of the way for a bit and was really upset in the kitchen for a good hour but at least have a tidy kitchen now. I just went to bed after on my own. I was too upset to speak to him again. It might sound like me throwing my toys out of the pram but it really wasn't like that. I was just overcome with emotion. I do appreciate everyone's help so thank you all for your comments. I just need to let the dust settle. Why is this so hard? x

 

[Dotty_woman]

It's over.

 

[TashaWink]

Well we discussed how many children we want. I would like 4, he wants 2 so we've agreed on 3. This was before children. 3/4 weeks ago he said he's not ruling out a 4th and could probably be persuaded. (I'm only on my 2nd)

I don't have any tips he just knows that's what I want so isn't going to completely rule things out and will think about it when it comes to it.
I think men need more time to adjust to ideas but I think they're the ones that will want more (maybe it's an animal instinct to keep reproducing)