When to tell work?

[JemRose]

Hi ladies, ever since my BFP I've been so scared about telling my manager!

I've only been in my job since July, but I do pass the cut off for SMP. I also work for the NHS and have done for years, but in a different workplace. Continuous NHS employment in one or more workplaces for over 1 years means I qualify for NHS maternity pay also. Which is an amazing package. So in terms of law and dates etc I qualify for SMP and NHS maternity pay.

But it's not that that I'm worried about! My manager was searching for someone to do the job I do (secretary) for months. I am the only person in the workplace that is able to do my job. She regularly calls me her saviour and doesn't know what she'd do without me etc.

A lot of people have been off sick recently and she's said she can barely afford for them to be off sick.

So anyway I'm so scared because she is literally going to hate me!! Money wise for her business and also job wise as there is nobody else to do my job and she will find it difficult to find maternity cover. Plus I'm on 6 month probation which doesn't end until Feb.

Sorry I'm sure you don't want a life story, but is anyone else in my position? Can she sack me as still in probation period? What happens now? When should I tell her? Is sooner better than later so she has more time to plan? It's causing me so much stress and anxiety I really don't know what to do!

Any help or experiences would be great. Thank you x

 

[KHTW]

The way I look at these things is this: work always comes second and family first. Nobody is irreplaceable, even if it takes some time they will find somebody to cover. I am assuming you want to return to work after maternity leave? If yes then it is just temporary absence. They will just HAVE TO get on with it...

Re. your probation period... I have no experience here but I guess if you want to be on safe side tell her after the probation period is done. You have no obligation to tell your workplace until 15 weeks before the beginning of the week the baby is due.

Honestly try and not worry about it. You are not leaving them for another employee, you simply got pregnant. I'm sure she will be happy for you x

 

[holli]

I told my work right away as I'm a care assistant and it involves a lot of moving and handling which I'm not comfortable about doing, I'd only been with the company since June when I got my bfp in August so was pretty scared telling them but they have been amazing they do risk assessments on me all time and I'm not allowed to do anything that requires moving and handling which is good- I also had to tell them as I suffered terrible sickness so I had a lot of time off sick xxx

 

[JemRose]

I'm half thinking to tell them because then I'm being upfront and honest about it. But I'm so worried what the reaction will be. Maybe I'm making it seem worse than it is! I don't want her to hear through others either :/

 

[Shanivy]

If you've told others at work then I would definitely consider telling her xx

 

[JemRose]

No I haven't told anyone and won't be telling anyone until the 12 week scan. But now I'm thinking do I keep it completely quiet from anyone until middle of Feb to tell work? But then I'm deceiving work by lying about it for so long x

 

[KHTW]

You are not lying about it, you are under no obligation to tell them so early x

 

[Shanivy]

Oh I thought when you said you didn't want her hearing from others you'd told people. You aren't deceiving them by waiting for your scan. It's honestly up to you. As long as you tell them by the time you have to, you're fine. She'll honestly have to get over it and find maternity cover. I'm assuming you want to go back afterwards? Don't stress yourself too much. Xx

 

[PeanutButter]

Wait till after Feb! X

 

[JemRose]

I do want to go back afterwards, it's a good job with an amazing career opportunity x

 

[Summerwine]

Speaking from a management point of view - I would tell them after your 12 week scan. I assume you will want to tell family and friends then and one well meaning Facebook comment seen by a colleague could leave you in an awkward position in work.

Additionally, if you were one of my staff, I'd really appreciate the notice that would give me to start making maternity cover arrangements. 15 weeks notice is all you're obliged to give - but if it's going to be a very difficult post to cover, I'm sure they'd appreciate any extra time to make those arrangements!

Speaking from an employee point of view, I really sympathise. I'm 12 months into a placement in an organisation on temporary promotion, that should be made a permanent arrangement in April. I am terrified that this news may mean that they no longer want to keep me after my placement ends, so have emailed HR to find out what the position is in April now, so that I have something in writing and a couple of weeks to think on it before my scan. I will likely tell my manager the day of my 12 week scan though, all being well.

 

[JemRose]

Speaking from a management point of view - I would tell them after your 12 week scan. I assume you will want to tell family and friends then and one well meaning Facebook comment seen by a colleague could leave you in an awkward position in work.

Additionally, if you were one of my staff, I'd really appreciate the notice that would give me to start making maternity cover arrangements. 15 weeks notice is all you're obliged to give - but if it's going to be a very difficult post to cover, I'm sure they'd appreciate any extra time to make those arrangements!

Speaking from an employee point of view, I really sympathise. I'm 12 months into a placement in an organisation on temporary promotion, that should be made a permanent arrangement in April. I am terrified that this news may mean that they no longer want to keep me after my placement ends, so have emailed HR to find out what the position is in April now, so that I have something in writing and a couple of weeks to think on it before my scan. I will likely tell my manager the day of my 12 week scan though, all being well.

Thank you that's really helpful. I did think it would be better to say after 12 week scan to make preparations etc. But they can't sack me can they as still in my probation? x

 

[JaneyJan]

JemRose, being pregnant is not something you need to 'confess'. You've not done anything wrong and if she's irritated because it will impact her work, that's not exactly your fault. I'm sure she'll be understanding. I don't think you need to tell her right away but maybe you can give her a little bit of notice before the rest of the workplace finds out. It's great that you qualify for the full maternity package! She'll be happy for you! Bear in mind that that doesn't cost your ward but the trust you work for. When people randomly go off sick, then your ward has to pay for the agency staff to cover.... Maybe that's what she means when she talks about affording it...

I work for the NHS too as an ICU nurse, and have to work around a lot of bugs like CMV... Im thinking of telling them just after the 12 week mark, as I've been redeployed somewhere else for the next few weeks, so will tell them before I go back. Only the senior managers though, not the whole team!

 

[Summerwine]

The only reason you could be let go during your probation is poor performance/inappropriate conduct/excessive absence. Not for being pregnant - that's discrimination and the NHS would know better than to try anything silly like that!

It should also make the remainder of your probation a bit easier if you 'fess up at 12 weeks as pregnancy related illness shouldn't be classed as or treated the same way as regular sick leave, so you shouldn't have to worry so much if you do need a few sick days that are pregnancy related!

 

[Fela]

Pretty sure you aren't obliged to tell your employer before 15 weeks prior to your expected due date....

But to be fair that is super late, I think it's generally a good idea to tell them after the 12 week scan. I'd just book a meeting with your manager and tell them once your scan is done. Give them an idea of how long you plan to be off perhaps?

also they absolutely cannot sack you because of pregnancy, pregnancy is a protected characteristic. It would be illegal and you could take them to a tribunal if you thought you'd been dismissed because of pregnancy.. and as someone else said, the NHS is a big organisation that really can't get away with doing stuff like that...

 

[stargirl]

I can sort of understand why you feel so worried about this. I work in a very busy nursery and we Are stretched to our limits staff wise. I was moved room at the end of summer because of maternity leave and before doing so I told my manager that we were planning for a baby just so her and the owners were prepared. (We currently have 4 members of staff off on mat leave). When I found out I was pg I told my manager straight away, just so that could prepare and put a plan into place. I was so scared telling her and the owners but one of the owners put it in perspective for me. She said 'I employ 23 staff and over half of them are at child baring age! Having staff go on maternity leave and finding cover is my problem, not theirs. You're problem is making sure you and you're growing baby are healthy and happy.' You never know when you tell your boss she may not be that surprised.

 

[Katybaby87]

I totally sympathise with your situation! I was terrier about telling my manager as he’s generally pretty horrid but he was actually really nice about it and has been checking in on how I’m doing...

These things happen and there’s never a good time for people to be off so even if you had been there another 2 years it wouldn’t make it any easier for her to cover. The NHS in particular must be used to dealing with maternity being so big so I. Honestly wouldn’t worry. Easier said than done though!

I’m actually changing jobs in Feb (accepted the position before I found out I was pregnant) so I won’t get maternity pay or statutory pay, and since I start in Feb but will be going on Mat leave in June I’ll barely be there. I think I also going to wait until 12 week scan to tell them... I am worried incase they are really mad but at the same time I couldn’t stay in a job indefinitely incase I got pregnant and it was time to move on so I’m hoping they’ll be ok about it

 

[Elven]

From previous experience in my workplace, albeit not mine personally, you can sack someone during their probation even if they are pregnant, as long as you have a legitimate reason to - any usual reason you would feel the need to let someone go. However, I don't think most employers would dare to go down that route of fear that it would look as if they sacked someone for being pregnant.

I wouldn't worry about this, even if it's challenged they will cope. I would just tell them shortly after your 12 week scan to let them make the relevant arrangements.

Lastly, congratulations!

 

[JemRose]

Thank you everyone!!

I do work for the NHS but in a GP surgery - I think business and budgets work a bit different in a GP surgery rather than a big hospital. (I changed to a GP surgery from a hospital and now wish I stayed at the hospital as they would be more used to this!)

I am the only member of staff under the age of about 50 here, so I think like some of you have said, it is something they should have thought about when they employed me. But you can't discriminate against age, sex, etc. So hopefully I'm just worrying too much and things will be fine. I just hate letting people down!

I know that there is no way they can get rid of me (take away the pregnancy) because they really need me, plus I'm the only one that can do my job here. So I guess if they did try to sack me I could question that because they won't be able to find another reason to do so!

I think the general consensus is to tell them after my 12 week scan, I think really that's the most reasonable thing to do. I'll be 22 weeks by the time I pass probation so I think that's a bit late!

Thanks again everyone, you've definitely made me feel much better x

 

[JemRose]

So, I've decided to tell my manager tomorrow.

I will be 11 weeks, but my scan isn't until the 30th and as of Friday I won't be back to work until January. I will probably be announcing the pregnancy before I return to work and I really don't want my manager to find out from someone else, so I thought best way would be to tell her tomorrow.

Now, does any have any tips at all on how to break the news? I don't want to officially tell her with written notice etc, I just want to tell her so that she is aware and hears it from me. But even thinking about it I feel so sick, I just don't know how to tell her. I feel like I'll probably cry haha.

So please, any advice on how to tell her or any personal experiences of telling work would be amazing.

Thank you x