When to tell work?

[Summerwine]

So, I've decided to tell my manager tomorrow.

I will be 11 weeks, but my scan isn't until the 30th and as of Friday I won't be back to work until January. I will probably be announcing the pregnancy before I return to work and I really don't want my manager to find out from someone else, so I thought best way would be to tell her tomorrow.

Now, does any have any tips at all on how to break the news? I don't want to officially tell her with written notice etc, I just want to tell her so that she is aware and hears it from me. But even thinking about it I feel so sick, I just don't know how to tell her. I feel like I'll probably cry haha.

So please, any advice on how to tell her or any personal experiences of telling work would be amazing.

Thank you x

Hey Jem, I told work a couple of weeks ago. Usually my meetings with my manager take place on a quiet table in the corner of our main office, so I made a point of booking a meeting room for our catch up. I think this probably gave away that something was up before the meeting! We sat down for our catch up and after some basic formalities - 'how was your weekend?' 'is everything okay with work?' I just pretty much came out with it - yes everything is fine with work, I just wanted to meet today to let you know that I am pregnant. He was very surprised but also very supportive (I wasn't expecting much from male manager so I was surprised! Bad on my part) He asked a few questions - when was I due, had I had a scan, was there anything I needed to help with work. He was also very honest in saying he couldn't remember the last time he'd had a pregnant member of staff so wasn't that familiar with the maternity policy so we both went away and had a read. The only other thing he asked, which I wasn't prepared for, was had I thought about how long I might take for maternity. I told him what I would like to take, but that I wasn't prepared to commit to it yet, and that was fine! Good luck x

 

[KHTW]

Last time I went up to my manager's office with a scan picture, told him I had some news to share and showed him the pic. That's pretty much it. He congratulated me and said we will find some time to sit down and discuss my plans and we did that when I was just past 20 weeks.

This time, all going well, I will do the exactly same thing.

I know you won't have scan pic but you can still just tell her you have an announcement. Keep it simple and good luck x

 

[JemRose]

My manager is a woman and she can be quite scary. I have visions of her just shouting at me lol.

I'm sure it will all be fine, but my anxiety is on an all time high when I think about it!! I just want to tell her and run and never come back haha!

Thanks for all the advice. We don't really book meetings, so when her office is empty I'll just pop in and say can I have a quick word in private and then just somehow blurt it out. But I think the words will get stuck in my throat and I'll cry haha x

 

[KHTW]

My manager is a woman and she can be quite scary. I have visions of her just shouting at me lol.

I'm sure it will all be fine, but my anxiety is on an all time high when I think about it!! I just want to tell her and run and never come back haha!

Thanks for all the advice. We don't really book meetings, so when her office is empty I'll just pop in and say can I have a quick word in private and then just somehow blurt it out. But I think the words will get stuck in my throat and I'll cry haha x

lol just remember that you didn't kill anyone! You got pregnant

 

[JemRose]

Lol everyone else that works here are having grandchildren, so they're definitely not used to maternity leave etc!! Hopefully considering it's been a long time since they've had anyone on maternity leave, they might just be okay with it! x

 

[sarah1986]

Jem Rose just remember they have no reason but to be ok with it! It's your choice to have a baby and they have to support you with that
I plan to tell my manager after Christmas, I don't really have anyone on social media that I work with so news won't get round.

 

[JemRose]

I've got one person on social media, but you never know who they will tell lol x

 

[LuckyLaura]

I can totally relate as I haven't told my work yet with only being 9 weeks. However due to being really sick all this week I have had to call in to work and have a few days off. I am thinking that if I am going back tomorrow, which I hopefully will now I have these anti-sickness tablets, to tell my manager only. That way my absence will go down as pregnancy related sickness and not just the normal sickness. I know they have to treat that differently and I didnt really want to tell them so early but I feel like it might be better this way.

I am really awkward talking about this kinda thing so will probably do the same, just ask for a private word and blurt it out real quick then cry or something awkward hahahaha my manager is female and lovely though so hopefully it won't be too bad xx

 

[JemRose]

Good luck Laura for tomorrow, D Day for both of us haha x

 

[JemRose]

My manager is stressed and bogged down doing end of year finance today.. maybe I shouldn't tell her today? I think I'm just trying to get out of it! But maybe I should wait until she is no longer stressed?!

 

[KHTW]

I would wait x

 

[LuckyLaura]

So I did it! I had a return to work meeting due to calling in sick and she was like is there any underlying medical condition so I just blurted it out haha she was really nice about it and congratulated me. Asked how far along and how my husband was feeling etc haha then said she'd keep it between us except for the health and safety team who need to do some sort of desk assessment haha xx

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[JemRose]

I did it too! She was really happy for me and excited. Said she couldn't believe I was scared to tell her lol oh I'm just so relieved. Thank you everyone for your support and advice. I seem to make things more difficult for myself by panicking lol x

 

[_GG_]

I did it too! She was really happy for me and excited. Said she couldn't believe I was scared to tell her lol oh I'm just so relieved. Thank you everyone for your support and advice. I seem to make things more difficult for myself by panicking lol x

Haha. I missed this thread but was about to say, "give her a chance, she might surprise you".

Employers are literally not allowed to do anything that can put us at risk when we're pregnant and they have to be very careful to give us a safe working environment, both physically and mentally.

So glad it went well for you xx

 

[LuckyLaura]

I did it too! She was really happy for me and excited. Said she couldn't believe I was scared to tell her lol oh I'm just so relieved. Thank you everyone for your support and advice. I seem to make things more difficult for myself by panicking lol x

Yaaaaay I'm pleased xxx

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[JaneyJan]

Considering I work on a heavy ward full of aggressive patients I am amazed that my manager didn't even speak about doing a risk assessment. Nothing has changed since I've told her I'm pregnant. They just don't care.

 

[KHTW]

Shocking! You should complain x

 

[_GG_]

Considering I work on a heavy ward full of aggressive patients I am amazed that my manager didn't even speak about doing a risk assessment. Nothing has changed since I've told her I'm pregnant. They just don't care.

Call your union rep. They have a legal right to protect you at work, end of!

 

[LuckyLaura]

Considering I work on a heavy ward full of aggressive patients I am amazed that my manager didn't even speak about doing a risk assessment. Nothing has changed since I've told her I'm pregnant. They just don't care.

That's not great I think people don't know how to handle it too as it's one of those part of management that are swept aside when there should be more focus on it xx

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