When to tell children about the new pregnancy???

[Shanivy]

Hey ladies.

So my scan is on Wednesday (omg) and me and OH are at a loss on when is the right/most sensible/best time to tell our 3 year old about the baby.

We will be starting to tell family after the scan if all is well. DD is very clever but I'm wondering what everyone else done? After the scan? A few months in?

She's also not coming with us for the scan btw but I'm planning on taking her to a 3D scan to help her make sense of it later on. I don't want her hearing it from family and being confused but I'm still afraid of something happening and having to explain.

Opinions? Am I overthinking it?

 

[PeanutButter]

Get her a Xmas present from her baby brother or sister! Well this would be what I'd do if dd was old enough. And show her the scan (after the excitement of Xmas had calmed down, super cute) x

 

[Loula]

We had our scan and screening results before we told my daughter. We then told others as we didn't want her hearing it from anyone else x

 

[Shepherdess]

we're picking DD up from nursery next Friday after our scan and taking her for a nice lunch and telling her. I'm the same I didn't want her to hear from anyone else. our parents have been great and not said any thing around her. I can't wait to tell her!

edited to add I've a few god children and I know their parents would be excited and tell them so I want to make sure DD hears first

 

[JoeyClare]

My three year old told me I had a baby in my tummy at 9 weeks. We’d had an early scan, but not said anything and nobody else knew. She just seemed to work it out!! We did take her to the 12 week scan but mainly because we didn’t have childcare options! Thankfully all ok. I think making it a bit Christmassy sounds like a lovely way to share the news.

 

[Shanivy]

Thanks girls I saw someone on another forum not tell a 3 yr old until they were like 7 months because they thought it was too long to wait. But DD already knows where babies grow and I'm sure she'd understand as I am going to be huuge lol. I obviously am overthinking it. I think thats because of my mc.

PB that's a great idea how did I not think of it haha duh! Im going to do that thanks xx

Loula, Shepherdess yes agree I really don't want her hearing somebody talking about the baby and be like what? xx

 

[Shanivy]

JoeyClare I never knew how clever 3 year olds could be until I had one!! Lol

 

[JemRose]

Yeah I agree with PB, make it a fun and exciting thing. So buying a Christmas gift from the new baby will make it a positive thing xx

 

[Rachel84]

Such a cute idea BP.
I've already told mine as they are a lot older and had noticed the m/s, wanted to tell them before they guessed. But when my lot were little I don't actually remember how far along I was when I told them about my other pregnancies but I did buy a doppler and let them listen in as often as they wanted to listen to baby which they've all loved doing and I think helped them understand a little more.
Cutest moment was when my then 3year old listened for the first time and then exclaimed. "I heard baby he's saying waffle waffle!"

 

[KHTW]

DD is only 2 so we are not too worried as to how and when she 'finds out'. We are not taking her to the 12 (well 14 in my case!) week scan but (all going well) we will take her to 3d gender scan in February. We will show her the pictures from the 1st scan and tell her she is getting a baby brother/sister but I don't think she will know what it means x

 

[TORino]

I think for a small child 6 months is a long time to wait. That said..we told our little one at maybe 14 weeks and she’s tortured me ever since. Haha.. when’s the baby coming mammy, how much longer mammy etc etc

I’ve at least got Christmas as a distraction I guess!

 

[Shanivy]

DD is only 2 so we are not too worried as to how and when she 'finds out'. We are not taking her to the 12 (well 14 in my case!) week scan but (all going well) we will take her to 3d gender scan in February. We will show her the pictures from the 1st scan and tell her she is getting a baby brother/sister but I don't think she will know what it means x

Same with the 3D scan. I feel like they'll have a bit more of a chance to see a baby with a 3D and not a blob with the 2d. Plus it's more chilled and what with needing no testing or measurements etc. Dd will be 4 when we go for that xx

 

[Shanivy]

I think for a small child 6 months is a long time to wait. That said..we told our little one at maybe 14 weeks and she’s tortured me ever since. Haha.. when’s the baby coming mammy, how much longer mammy etc etc

I’ve at least got Christmas as a distraction I guess!

I knowww :/ that's the thing it's definitely so long for a 3/4 year old. I'm gonna be tortured by the sounds of thing lol. What age is your one? X

 

[Shanivy]

Such a cute idea BP.
I've already told mine as they are a lot older and had noticed the m/s, wanted to tell them before they guessed. But when my lot were little I don't actually remember how far along I was when I told them about my other pregnancies but I did buy a doppler and let them listen in as often as they wanted to listen to baby which they've all loved doing and I think helped them understand a little more.
Cutest moment was when my then 3year old listened for the first time and then exclaimed. "I heard baby he's saying waffle waffle!"

Oooh Doppler is good idea. We had one with dd to chill my anxiety out. Was thinking about hiring another so I may do it now

 

[PeanutButter]

I bought a Doppler, tried at not long ago but got nothing, with dd got the heartbeat ariund 10 weeks I think x
Oo I love the 3d scans I'm having a gender 3d and then around 29 weeks was fantastic with dd

 

[Shanivy]

I didn't start using mine until after 12 weeks last time I think? It does take a bit to figure what's what. Oh was better at it than me.

I didn't have a 3D with dd but I wish I did. Went with a friend and it was so amazing. OH said he's not sure about 3D cause "he doesn't want to see the baby's face until it's born"

I was just like "you can sit out side then I'm having one" he's weird.

 

[sarah1986]

Are dopplers safe? I have read various things on the internet that they are not good for the baby, but i really fancy buying one.

 

[KHTW]

I didn't start using mine until after 12 weeks last time I think? It does take a bit to figure what's what. Oh was better at it than me.

I didn't have a 3D with dd but I wish I did. Went with a friend and it was so amazing. OH said he's not sure about 3D cause "he doesn't want to see the baby's face until it's born"

I was just like "you can sit out side then I'm having one" he's weird.

This was DD at 4D scan, don't remember what week exactly but it is crazy how well you can see their face!!

 

[Shanivy]

Wow that's amazing!! I'm def showing oh this and I know he'll change his mind! Xx

 

[KHTW]

It was amazing!! And she struck so many poses, we have a few great pics incl. one of her yawning