When blokes look at other women *updated :(*

[x-kirsty-x]

I thought I was over all my insecurities and jealousy but since having Ryan I feel so ugly and fat and I keep telling OH that Im scared he'll leave me for someone prettier with a perfect figure

I know he loves me and he always tells me and he always goes on and on about how fit I am (whatever), there are definitely no problems in the bedroom

But yesterday we were out shopping and I went into a shop while he stayed outside with the kids. I came out to find him staring at a group of girls, you know the type...perfect hair, perfect skin, perfect figure, perfect bloody everything

Usually I woulda laughed it off or took the piss but it absolutely crushed me. I know blokes look, thats fine. I dont expect him not to. Its how I feel about myself. Im never gonna be like them and Im just waiting for him to leave me for someone like that

 

[Riley's Mommy]

they may have 'perfect' figures, perfect hair ect, but you have something more precious. two beautiful children.

id rather be out of shape with my son, than in perfect shape with no children.

its all about the bigger picture. they too, one day will have stretchmarks ect if they choose to have a child.

and i bet they are quite lonely too.

 

[leckershell]

Have to admit I used to have a great figure, but the more overdue I go the more stretch marks I'm getting. My OH says he loves me the way I am though as they wouldn't be there unless I was carrying his baby, and he loves me for it.

I'm sure your OH feels the same way, if he tells you so then he surely means it.

Although children are a key factor between a couple, my OH has always said to me if he wants to leave me he won't stay just because of the baby as he'd rather we were both happy separately than have the baby living in a family where the parents aren't loving each other. If your OH wanted to leave you... not to be harsh, but he would.

But he obviously doesn't!!! so make the most of it

 

[NooNoo]

I know exactly what you mean...somedays, like you i just laugh it off and think well if he wanted something like that he would go and get it...but other days when im feeling sh!tty its like my whole world is coming down around me...OMG he is gonna go off on me or he wants too and just feels nasty..

Its crappy but good to know that other people feel the same and its not just you going mad lol

 

[x-kirsty-x]

I rang OH when he was on his dinner break and on the phone he said I sounded upset. I said well yeah cos Im still upset about you looking at those girls yesterday. I wasnt arguing, I was just telling him how I felt.

He seems to think I should be over it by now, and by rights I should, but its really really got to me and I started crying on the phone. Then he started having a go saying I was blaming him just cos Im a bit fat from having 2 kids.

Then he said if I stopped stuffing my face all the time and did some exercise I might not be as bad

He just doesnt understand. I thought he was supportive but he's just completely changed.

I cant stop crying, I know what he really thinks of me now.

He texted me after we finished on the phone saying he didnt mean to be nasty but he was just wound up. I didnt text back, Im just crying and I cant stop.

I fu**ing hate myself so much, Im never gonna be good enough for him. Half the time I dont want to be here

 

[NooNoo]

Try to think about it from his point of view hun...im no way saying he is in the right by saying that because he is not

BUT..If it was him saying it to you...bearing in mind you have done nothing wrong and he kept on with it...you would be bound to say something like that as you dont know what to say anymore and dont forget...he loves you and hates to see you hurting...does that make sense to you??

I dont know if it will help..but its what i try to do and it works

 

[libs]

I know how easy it is to be insecure, but look at it from his point of view - my DH said to me when we were first together -
"I'm happy with you the way you are- if you aren't then that's you saying that not me. If you want to do something about it (ie diet and exercise) I will support you however I can. But if you just want to moan about it then I'm not interested"

and I thought how harsh...then I thought again and thought actually he's right. He's saying he would help me to be happier about myself, but actually doesn't just want me to whinge all the time about something he can't change And he did what he said - whenever I've wanted to diet he's supported me, picked Josh up when I went to slimming club, looked after him whilst I went to the gym etc. So ask your OH to do the same - join a slimming club, take a walk, go to the gym etc and ask him to take care of the children without moaning

As for looking at other girls..so what? I look at other men and think yum..doesn't mean I wanted to be married to them or love them, just admiring them in the same way I'd admire a pretty dress

 

[Dee1985]

i know how you feel im the same i hate krtis looking at other girls and i find it so hard as my friends are all stunning and im the only one with children
and children = fat saggy belly

but i am always lookinng at fit blokes kris dont care
i dont look thinking "i want to bonk you"
i look and think ohh i like his hair owww kris would like nice in the top
its harmelss

 

[x-kirsty-x]

I know how easy it is to be insecure, but look at it from his point of view - my DH said to me when we were first together -
"I'm happy with you the way you are- if you aren't then that's you saying that not me. If you want to do something about it (ie diet and exercise) I will support you however I can. But if you just want to moan about it then I'm not interested"

and I thought how harsh...then I thought again and thought actually he's right. He's saying he would help me to be happier about myself, but actually doesn't just want me to whinge all the time about something he can't change And he did what he said - whenever I've wanted to diet he's supported me, picked Josh up when I went to slimming club, looked after him whilst I went to the gym etc. So ask your OH to do the same - join a slimming club, take a walk, go to the gym etc and ask him to take care of the children without moaning

As for looking at other girls..so what? I look at other men and think yum..doesn't mean I wanted to be married to them or love them, just admiring them in the same way I'd admire a pretty dress

Oh I know that, Im the first to admit that I look at other men, just cos you look at a nice car doesnt mean you want to drive it

Its not him looking that bothers me, all men do. Bloody hell, if I see a good looking girl I stop and think 'She's pretty' or whatever so I have no concerns about that, he might look at them but he's with me, thats fine.

Its just that nagging feeling that he might start to touch rather than just looking. Ok, so maybe he wont but then again maybe he will. Id rather be on my own than be with him and worry about him leaving me for someone else. It would hurt less that way.

Next time we're out Im gonna make it blatantly obvious that Im eyeing up fit men, see how he likes it

 

[Dee1985]

ohh sorry hun didnt see the updated post

when me and kris have fell out before he has called me a fat bitch - he knows it will get to me.
im sure he dont mean it
your beautiful

 

[frangelle]

I feel exacty the same at the mo, I have put on so much weight all over this pregnancy, and I keep getting jealous over girls that normally I would just think nothing of. My legs, ass, arms, face etc have balooned out, and I can't even begin to diet til Novemeber when little one's born.
So I am completely insecure at the mo

It doesn't help that my OH calls me humpty etc I just feel like a big fat whingey mess

 

[x-kirsty-x]

I wish men could go through pregnancy. Its rubbish how they get to have kids but their bodies dont suffer

I said to OH 'If you were fat and ugly and caught me eyeing up men maybe you'd understand how I feel' and he said that he's never gonna be fat.

Yeah, nowt like rubbing it in I replied 'Ok well you'll never understand then'

 

[x-kirsty-x]

He's packed all his stuff and left now

Might do us good to have a break. Hopefully the stupid twat will find some other muppet to put up with him and I wont have to deal with it anymore

 

[Marymary]

Bloody hell, did u have another row? Why's he gone?

Men always run off when they cant hack it- Ive posted loads about me feeling insecure and going off at Stu for not much. I still get it but have been going to the gym loads and am starting to feel better now.

I really think u would too feel sooo much better if u were able to do something to help u lose the weight or just tone up as it will make u see urself differently- and ur man will see the improvements and start to wonder if he's good enough for you!

Ive seen pics of u in threads on here and ur so pretty- I know that sounds crap as it wont help but you are honestly and its a mental thing that prevents u from seeing that too so a bit of positive actions will help change that.

XX

 

[x-kirsty-x]

I told him to go, I dont need the arguing at the minute, I have two kids to think about.

I've lost all my baby weight, Im just left with a bit of a tummy. I even had a consultation to see about getting a tummy tuck, thats how bad I felt. Up until today I was adament that I was going to get one. Now Im thinking why the hell should I. Its about time I stopped being so bloody shallow and thought about the important things in life.

So what, Im not perfect and I never will be. I dont need to change for anybody. Usually when we argue and he leaves I sit and cry and ring him over and over again. This time I dont feel anything at all. Im concentrating on the kids.

He'll be back and we'll make up, its always the case. But theres no way Im having him putting me down anymore. He thinks he can say what he wants cos saying sorry will make it all better. He thinks Im so scared to be alone cos I wont manage.

Just watch me

 

[Babylicious]

you go girl

 

[Tiffy]

I told him to go, I dont need the arguing at the minute, I have two kids to think about.

I've lost all my baby weight, Im just left with a bit of a tummy. I even had a consultation to see about getting a tummy tuck, thats how bad I felt. Up until today I was adament that I was going to get one. Now Im thinking why the hell should I. Its about time I stopped being so bloody shallow and thought about the important things in life.

So what, Im not perfect and I never will be. I dont need to change for anybody. Usually when we argue and he leaves I sit and cry and ring him over and over again. This time I dont feel anything at all. Im concentrating on the kids.

He'll be back and we'll make up, its always the case. But theres no way Im having him putting me down anymore. He thinks he can say what he wants cos saying sorry will make it all better. He thinks Im so scared to be alone cos I wont manage.

Just watch me

Wow, that is so inspiring... truly, THANK YOU!!! I was feeling pretty down about myself right now, and after just reading that post, it made me feel better. You're absolutely right!!! So what if I'm a bit chubby and bloated right now? I'm preggers, and that's okay.

 

[x-kirsty-x]

Made a bit of a speech there didnt I

Kids are settled in bed, now I've got nothing to do and I keep wanting to ring him cos its just a habit.

I need to prove that I can do without him to give him a bit of a shock

 

[M&Ms]

Go girl!

It's hard at first being by yourself with a baby, but it gets easier. Well I keep telling myself it will

Both my exes have called me fat (or grossly overweight and ugly as a dog as my husband put it). My ex partner called me a fat bitch on the night he left (albeit under police escort) and that was when I was 5 months pregnant! Funny when you consider the beer belly both of them had and they couldn't even blame that on having been pregnant

I still stand by the badge I used to wear - If they can send a man to the moon, why can't they send them all?

Oh and Hello Mumsie!

 

[NooNoo]

Up until today I was adament that I was going to get one. Now Im thinking why the hell should I. Its about time I stopped being so bloody shallow and thought about the important things in life.

After what i said to you before...i then went on to have this argument with my OH tonight lol...i was feeling just like that...then i got a phone call saying that one of my old mates had been killed in a car crash this morning...and it made me think just like the above quote....your so right...life is too short