What would you do?

[Pregnopaws]

I'm reeling with shock this week, ever since I found out that a woman (whose husband works with my husband) has lost her baby at around 6 months in August. As if that isn't tragic enough she also suffered an ectopic pregnancy before this one which apparently ruptured.

I don't really know her personally as all info comes from DH talking to her DH at work, but I know they were desperately trying for kids and I once saw her coming out of the maternity ward and we just smiled at each other. I'd really like to reach out to her somehow cos it must be awful and she prob doesnt have many english friends in Spain.

Apparently they've kept the sad news really low profile and no-ones come out and said much about it at his work. And of course my DH won't say anything much to her DH for fear of upsetting him. (You know how men get their heads down and disappear into their working world with stuff like that!)

But It's awkward isnt it? I can't help thinking that poor poor woman what she must have gone/ be going through! I mean even the sight of me with my growing bump might upset her. I've a feeling I should keep away also, but what would you do?

 

[Jen & Her Men]

God thats so awful.

I think it really depends on how well you know her. You may be right in that she doesnt have many friends over by you and would be grateful for a chat but she also may be v private - its a tricky one.

If it was me I would probably write her a little note saying how sorry I was and that I understand how tough it is to get through difficult times with no friends or family around so if she wants to speak to a friendly ear then you would really like to meet her for a coffee or something and leave your mobile number in the note. THen give it to your DH to give to her DH. In this way you have passed on your condolensces and offered her help without being intrusive and the ball is completely in her court.

Hope that help.

 

[BabyLove]

Thats a tricky situation You feel as though you want to give her a cuddle and comforting words but at the same time its a sensitive subject. I would probably stop her,smile and say..."i dont wish to interfere or cause you upset but i wanted to let you know im here if you need a friend. I really mean it"

 

[BabyLove]

I would probably write her a little note saying how sorry I was and that I understand how tough it is to get through difficult times with no friends or family around so if she wants to speak to a friendly ear then you would really like to meet her for a coffee or something and leave your mobile number in the note. THen give it to your DH to give to her DH. In this way you have passed on your condolensces and offered her help without being intrusive and the ball is completely in her court.

Thats a great idea xx

 

[Pregnopaws]

That is a good idea i hadnt even thought of that.. Thanks! Although I can't for the life of me remember her name now even.. DOH I hope DH remembers it. He told me to leave it be when I mentioned about contacting her, as probably the last thing she wants to see is a happy preggy woman, but as you said..... writing a note and leaving it in her court would be the most sensitive and least intrusive I guess. Aw i still find it so horribly sad though, cant get image of her out of my head..

 

[poppy160]

Aww the poor woman!! I want to cry I would agree with Carly and J-Do, pass on your condolences and offer your support. I'm only basing this on how I would feel, but she may not want to talk to another pregnant lady. But definately offer your support. Let us know how it goes

 

[annaespana1]

I agree with carly and J-Do too. I'm sure you'll do the right thing- good luck

 

[Pregnopaws]

I'm reeling with shock this week, ever since I found out that a woman (whose husband works with my husband) has lost her baby at around 6 months in August. As if that isn't tragic enough she also suffered an ectopic pregnancy before this one which apparently ruptured.

I don't really know her personally as all info comes from DH talking to her DH at work, but I know they were desperately trying for kids and I once saw her coming out of the maternity ward and we just smiled at each other. I'd really like to reach out to her somehow cos it must be awful and she prob doesnt have many english friends in Spain.

Apparently they've kept the sad news really low profile and no-ones come out and said much about it at his work. And of course my DH won't say anything much to her DH for fear of upsetting him. (You know how men get their heads down and disappear into their working world with stuff like that!)

But It's awkward isnt it? I can't help thinking that poor poor woman what she must have gone/ be going through! I mean even the sight of me with my growing bump might upset her. I've a feeling I should keep away also, but what would you do?

 

[Jen & Her Men]

God thats so awful.

I think it really depends on how well you know her. You may be right in that she doesnt have many friends over by you and would be grateful for a chat but she also may be v private - its a tricky one.

If it was me I would probably write her a little note saying how sorry I was and that I understand how tough it is to get through difficult times with no friends or family around so if she wants to speak to a friendly ear then you would really like to meet her for a coffee or something and leave your mobile number in the note. THen give it to your DH to give to her DH. In this way you have passed on your condolensces and offered her help without being intrusive and the ball is completely in her court.

Hope that help.

 

[BabyLove]

Thats a tricky situation You feel as though you want to give her a cuddle and comforting words but at the same time its a sensitive subject. I would probably stop her,smile and say..."i dont wish to interfere or cause you upset but i wanted to let you know im here if you need a friend. I really mean it"

 

[BabyLove]

I would probably write her a little note saying how sorry I was and that I understand how tough it is to get through difficult times with no friends or family around so if she wants to speak to a friendly ear then you would really like to meet her for a coffee or something and leave your mobile number in the note. THen give it to your DH to give to her DH. In this way you have passed on your condolensces and offered her help without being intrusive and the ball is completely in her court.

Thats a great idea xx

 

[Pregnopaws]

That is a good idea i hadnt even thought of that.. Thanks! Although I can't for the life of me remember her name now even.. DOH I hope DH remembers it. He told me to leave it be when I mentioned about contacting her, as probably the last thing she wants to see is a happy preggy woman, but as you said..... writing a note and leaving it in her court would be the most sensitive and least intrusive I guess. Aw i still find it so horribly sad though, cant get image of her out of my head..

 

[poppy160]

Aww the poor woman!! I want to cry I would agree with Carly and J-Do, pass on your condolences and offer your support. I'm only basing this on how I would feel, but she may not want to talk to another pregnant lady. But definately offer your support. Let us know how it goes

 

[annaespana1]

I agree with carly and J-Do too. I'm sure you'll do the right thing- good luck