Mother in law grrrrr...rant long sorry

[cloud9]

I am getting really annoyed with my MIL...She is married to a guy who is not DH dad and they met when DH was 18 but he doesn't like DH or me which we don't like him either so is ok but went up xmas to delvier pressies and he was rude didn't speak to me ask how the baby was,when DH tried to speak to him he only got half answers , we left and DH said he felt like punching his lights out but we thought duty over.

Then i sent he an email with the link for my moses basket we had bought. I spoke to her last week end and asked her what she thought of the moses basket and she said she never opened the link as they are on dial up and she'd see it anyway. ( so the 1 or 2p would obviously be too much enthusiasm for her) I was left furious .i feel like i am constantly trying to get her to be intrested in the baby. She already had a grandson and granddaughter by DH's twin brother ( which she now rarely bothers with and hasn't actually seen them since march despite living 15 mins drive away) I ohone her to tell her about the scans, phone her to tell her about the m/w appointments.
She appears like she is on competition with me when i say i am still been sick she says well you get used to it or well thats pregnancy ( well i don't get used to it it tires me out and at times i just feel sorry for myself and want everyone else to) when i said i was hoping to go through labour on gas & air but would have to see how hard i find the pain she said oh i did it with non at all. She is not the slightest bit supportive.She has never been to visit us since i got pregnant . we live 40 mins drive away.
I don't have any contact with my parents and really want her to be involved but am sick of trying to make her excited and making all the effort when I am the pregnant one and getting nothing from her.
DH spoke to her yesterday and said he hadn't rang because he was upset how we were treated at xmas and she just said she never noticed anything so couldn't comment then said she had to go.

I feel at the end of my tether with this women and really just want to give her a piece of my mind but have done that in the past and it does nothing to resolve anything. she just builds up more of a grudge against us and we get turned into the evil ones upsetting her.

 

[Londoner Claire]

What a waste of space. I don't get people that are like this with their own families. My sons dad never bothered showing any interest in Ryan either, only when I WAS pregnant then never showed up when we arranged to meet up. K's mum doesn't bother with his kids either and hasn't shown any interest in the one I and her son are having but she idolizes his sisters son. I feel for you, some families are just plain weird and nasty.

 

[Salad]

Poor you - she sounds absolutely dreadful.
Have you come across the idea of someone having narcissistic personality disorder? I don't have enough knowledge to have an opinion on whether this applies to her or not - but thought it could be worth mentioning. There's a fair amount of info out there about it, and some good advice on how to manage your own anger/upset and so on if you are unfortunate enough (biased, eh?!) to have to deal with a narcissist e.g. http://www.halcyon.com/jmashmun/npd/dsm-iv.html.

The main point of thinking about this might be to accept that, if there's anything to it, that there's pretty much nothing you can do to change her behaviour, and that the most productive thing to focus on is protecting yourself from being hurt by it.

Sorry if this comes across as too 'advicey'. I've just found this kind of info helpful in the past and hope it might be useful to someone else too.

 

[Salad]

Just tested link I just posted and it didn't work - sorry. Hope this works better: http://dslweb.nwnexus.com/jmashmun/npd/

 

[*saulino*]

Hi

sorry you have inlaws like that , they prob will never change by the sounds of things i say worry about your selves and be around the poeple who are supportive of you guys and the baby
Katrina