What should i do?

[Fordee]

I don't necessarily think a relationship where you 'tell' or 'allow' your partner to do what they want can work in the long run. It can build up resentment between both parties; you have to display the fact that you trust them to make considerate choices as part of a couple (or family).

It sounds like you have come to a mutual understanding about your financial situation and the implications that this trip may have on it. With that awareness, your OH surely can decide for himself what is important to him and if there are any compromises to make.

Hope you can come to an amicable agreement; there'll be plenty more of these situations coming up in the years ahead with a child in tow, so its all good practice!

 

[kra0]

That's good you had a little chat! Always helps to get things off your chest. I'm panicking about money already xx

 

[Amylize]

That's good you had a little chat! Always helps to get things off your chest. I'm panicking about money already xx

I know everyone does, not for one minute i think i am alone, but it feels like it sometimes.

I think last night it needed to get it off my chest, i got loads off my chest. I burst into tears and i dont mean i dribble i was that bad i actualy couldnt talk i was that bad!

I think i am worried about all sorts, bit worried i will screw up motherhood (lets just say) i never had a mum! until now we are talking. I just think i paniced about whether i would actually be natural

 

[frankie247]

I think its really natural to be worried, especially at this point during the pregnancy when the hormones are kicking in. I know i often feel like i have so much on top of me. Its so good to let that go, to share the stress - so i'm really pleased you were able to talk it through.

 

[Amylize]

I think its really natural to be worried, especially at this point during the pregnancy when the hormones are kicking in. I know i often feel like i have so much on top of me. Its so good to let that go, to share the stress - so i'm really pleased you were able to talk it through.

Yeah i felt soooo much better and alot lighter once i had a good cry and was able to talk through the tears. i think it had been building up over a few days and because work has been quiet ive had time to think lol

 

[babyelmo]

I can identify a lot with how you're feeling. My oh is going on a stag weekend shortly before our baby is due. We had an issue early last year when I found out he'd been unfaithful and it took a long time for me to get over it. I'd never tell him he couldn't go, but I do worry, especially as I feel fat and unattractive at the moment, and he's made it clear he has a thing for slim girls.

Since I found out I was pregnant he's been going out, celebrating impending fatherhood, being congratulated etc, while i'm stuck struggling through each day being sick, having constant headaches, still working and looking after my 8 year old autistic child (We don't live together yet)

I worry hugely about money too. He earns more than I do but seems to always be on my case to save more towards the new house and baby things, yet he thinks nothing of blowing £100 on a night out, which I find shocking.

I may just be hormonal and angry at the moment but it's all getting to me a lot. We've talked about it but he becomes very defensive and accuses me of being moody. I probably am a bit but I do feel that i'm coping with an awful lot on my own.

I wish I could offer you the magic solution, really I do. I just hope it all works out for you xxx

 

[Amylize]

I can identify a lot with how you're feeling. My oh is going on a stag weekend shortly before our baby is due. We had an issue early last year when I found out he'd been unfaithful and it took a long time for me to get over it. I'd never tell him he couldn't go, but I do worry, especially as I feel fat and unattractive at the moment, and he's made it clear he has a thing for slim girls.

Since I found out I was pregnant he's been going out, celebrating impending fatherhood, being congratulated etc, while i'm stuck struggling through each day being sick, having constant headaches, still working and looking after my 8 year old autistic child (We don't live together yet)

I worry hugely about money too. He earns more than I do but seems to always be on my case to save more towards the new house and baby things, yet he thinks nothing of blowing £100 on a night out, which I find shocking.

I may just be hormonal and angry at the moment but it's all getting to me a lot. We've talked about it but he becomes very defensive and accuses me of being moody. I probably am a bit but I do feel that i'm coping with an awful lot on my own.

I wish I could offer you the magic solution, really I do. I just hope it all works out for you xxx

Don't you feel that men have it easy? i havent even started showing yet i have put a few pounds on even more so because we have been on holiday and had xmas and i havent exercised like i was doing 4 times a week since we found out, and before our holiday i had lost 1/2 stone so i can see the pounds even more now!

Men just dont think like us women! i agree blowing £100 or more on a night out when were having children seems like a waste of money! i wouldnt do it now so why should anyone else involved in the relationship. Men seem to just carry on as normal as though nothing is going to change!

I know my OH is over the moon and he believes he is made for fatherhood, which is a delight to hear because he is fantastic with other peoples kids. But they just seem to glide through it with ease.

My OH is really good anyways i wouldnt wish for anyone else and after our rocky patch late last year this is our new beginging and we are bot in it for the long run. I know as women we can get moody and angry at times because of the way we think, and i understand where your coming from because he was unfaithful because i have my issues now even though it was not him it was me!

As ladies we have to be strong i guess hun

 

[babyelmo]

Men DO have it easy!! It must be hard for them to empathise with us but sometimes I feel like they don't try. Again, this could be my crazy hormones! I get really frustrated with it and I feel quite lonely at times. I'm very lucky to have a close circle of really supportive friends, but sometimes all I want is some support from him, I feel like i'm doing this all on my own.

Staying strong is about all we can do! It is so very worth it in the end. Though I dare say he'll lap up the glory then as well! Sorry, that was nasty wasn't it! Darn hormones.....!

 

[Amylize]

Men DO have it easy!! It must be hard for them to empathise with us but sometimes I feel like they don't try. Again, this could be my crazy hormones! I get really frustrated with it and I feel quite lonely at times. I'm very lucky to have a close circle of really supportive friends, but sometimes all I want is some support from him, I feel like i'm doing this all on my own.

Staying strong is about all we can do! It is so very worth it in the end. Though I dare say he'll lap up the glory then as well! Sorry, that was nasty wasn't it! Darn hormones.....!

LOL maybe we need to let rip sometimes! maybe only way we can feel "human"

 

[babyem]

I hope everything gets sorted out for you x