what should i do?

[tracey 2]

Please guys i ready need some advice.

Right as some of you might know about what happened last time when i was preg and my parents found out, well should i tell them the truth now because my mum went to look for something in my bedroom and found an unused preg test. She asked me if i was preg again i stupidly said no well what was i going to say. However (this is where it gets confusing) my dad said really nicely whether i would do the test just to reasure them totally that i was telling the truth. I was going to say no but thought that it would make me look guilty.

I wasnt going to say anything til i had my 12 week scan. My bf is away at the moment for a couple of days so dont have his support.

What do you think i should do? Im terrified its all happening again.

Sorry for going on

 

[Riley's Mommy]

hi im not sure of the situation. but im guessing they werent happy last time.

i think i would come clean. as there going to find out anyway. if you dont do the test for them, they will realise you are. good luck hun.

 

[Londoner Claire]

Are they worried because of what you went through last time with loosing your baby or because of your age or another reason? Sorry don't meant to pry.

 

[Riley's Mommy]

it is hard to advise without knowing the situation relly. errm. i dont know

 

[Londoner Claire]

That's why I asked but tell me to mind my own if you want.

 

[Misslarue]

so you told your dad you would???????

 

[tracey 2]

Im sorry to be really confusing guys.

Ok this is what happened last time. When i found out i was preg i was having lots of trouble with my ex and all that and my parents are a bit funny with stuff like that so i didnt tell them about the baby. After lots of arguments with my ex he went and told them basically they chucked me out and said i was throwing my life away (i was 20) and my caree. they are old fashioned and think you should be married or in a steady relationship which i respect but it just happened. Im sorry if im offending anyone, but after talking with them eventually they wanted me to have an abortion which i refused. Then i lost the baby and they were ok they said it was one of those things, and we havent spoken about it since iv had no support or nothing.

So can you see why im so worried i mean it might be different this time i just dont know what to think or do.

My dad said he would appreciate me taking the test but then went out and said he'l leave it up to me.

 

[Riley's Mommy]

oh. i can see why you are worried. are you with the same person now or is it someone else. maby if its someone else, they might see the situation different. its a hard one to judge. id hate to give advice leading to you being thrown out.

try to explain to them you are responsible enough for a child and have thought about expendature ect.

is there anywhere you can go incase they do throw you out?

i would have waited until 12weeks too. its a shame this has happened.


at the end of the day, they will find out eventualy. so its up to you hun when you tell them.

 

[Rubys mummy]

Oh sweetie, I had no idea what you had been through last time..

You should be honest with your parents, tell them how happy you are about your pregnancy and tell them their support would mean an awful lot to you..they will probably be surprised, and maybe upset but once they see its happening and you are dealing with it in a positive way, they may get caught up in the excitement of it all....

You need to think of yourself and LO now, and not put any unneccessary stress on yourself at the mo, try and keep positive, and I promise it will all soon be ok.

Keep us posted and good luck xxxxx

 

[claire81]

To be honest, i think you have been treated really badly, im sorry, but i do Is there any way you can move out or anything because if they are not going to support you, i think you need to be in a place where you can get the love and care you deserve xx

 

[tracey 2]

thanks for the messages guys. Im with a totally different bloke now who has been nothing but great. I would love to move out but we just cant afford it at the moment iv applied to the council about housing and they just said that they will add me to the list and let me know unless i get thrown out i can get emerg accomadation. Iv got a couple of mates who will let me stay for a few days but thats it dont have anywhere else to go which is why im asking whether i should tell the truth now or keep it hidden til i find somewhere.

I just cant cope with this anymore its so much to handle and im sorry if im offending anyone i realise other people have so many other probs worse than mine but dunno.

 

[topbird]

Not that I know but it sounds like their issue was more with your ex rather than the baby, parents have funny ways of showing they care! My dad kicked me out when my boyfriend cheated on me as he wanted us to get back together, so forced my hand as I had no where else to go....... I am married to him now and he is the centre of my world, I could not imagine life without him (all water under the bridge now - was a long time ago)

Do they get on with your current boy friend?

I would tell them as they would be more upset if you lied to them now surely???

 

[*saulino*]

Hi

Im sorry your going through this and have to hide this fcrom then cuz of what they might say, me personally would just tell them and if they didnt like it then too bad because either way if you tell them later they will still be unhappy but its your life so really what they say dont matter , just wish they could be more supportive, hopefully this time will be different.
good luck hun

Katrina

 

[tracey 2]

thanks guys. My parents dont really know him that well they think he is ok but just think its nothing serious as im usually over his place.

I do realise they have to know at some point and maybe it would be easier to say something now, but i know it sounds really horrid but what if i lose this baby again i know it proberly wont happen and im trying to look on the positive side thats why i wanted to wait until 12 weeks at least. I am def going to tell them then but dont know whether i should now. Im proberly answering my own question now arent i!

 

[Sabrina]

Gosh Tracey your parents were very harsh last time. I personally don't know how they could do that to you. Do you think there's any way they might have come to their senses and realised they were wrong to throw you out before?

If you still want to wait till 12 weeks then perhaps you can just keep quiet if the conversation has been dropped. However, to be honest, if it were me, I think I'd just tell them and get it over with.

Parents - who'd have them!

Good luck

Sabrina
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[x-kirsty-x]

When Im in a situation like this where Im really worried about doing something I always tell myself that Im gonna have to do it eventually so it may as well be now. Somehow once things are out in the open, whether the consequences are good or bad, I always feel better for not having to hide it anymore.

To be honest I think they'll be half expecting it if they found a pregnancy test in your room. It'll be less of a shock if you know what I mean.

I've been there, I was scared to tell my parents I was pregnant the first time cos I was only 17 and my mum even told me the options straight out - I could have an abortion or put the baby up for adoption!! I knew from the start that I was going to keep it but I was so hurt that keeping it wasnt even an option as far as she was concerned.

Anyway, as time went on it got easier and although it was hard at the time neither me or her would change it for anything

 

[Sugarplum]

Hi Hun

You`re not offending us at all sweetie. I can see what you mean and imagine how it feels like for you. I think many women are scared of telling their parents. Even I felt a bit weird telling my Mum even though I was quite sure she wouldn´t get mad at me. You´ve been 20 at the first pregnancy? Would you mind me asking how old you are now? I just think after a certain age your parents shouldn´t treat you like a teenager anymore hunni. You know what I mean? I know it´s often really hard with parents. It´s hard with my Mum, too sometimes and I´m 26 lol. Hmmm ... ok hun of course telling the truth is always the best. But you know your parents best but I think, as well, that they are expecting it anyway. How do you think they will react if you talk to them calmly and happily. Do you wanna get married at all one day? I just think it´s nonsense when parents say you have to get married first. What if you never get married? Does that mean you can never be pregnant or a good Mum? I´m not sure if this helps you at all hun. It might be hard for your parents to get over their old fashioned opinion.

I know you will do the right thing. All the best for you. All will be fine

xxx
Maria

 

[tracey 2]

Thanks for all the messages guys so far nothing has been said since my parents havent really spoken to me i think i should tell them now because like you have all said they may react badly if they have found out that i lied

I mean im 21 now so i should be able to stand up to them and be brave but i dont know if i can im gonna get down with my bf and talk about it maybe might give me the strength to face them together.

Thanks

 

[Londoner Claire]

It may be partly because you still live with them. I agree that you don't have to be married just because others think you do. I have family who are that way too. I think it's important to have your own place and be paying your own rent/mortgage though before you have children.

I'm 32 and can't even get on the council list! Weird how different areas work differently.

 

[Sabrina]

Hi Tracey

Good luck with telling your parents. Maybe your BF could be with you when you do it? That'd give you some moral support.

My parents opinions can be quite black/white too about babies and marraige etc. So, I still worried about what my parents would say and I'm 41! Take a deep breath and get it over with. That's what I did. I told them when I was 6 weeks so they could have time to get used to the idea. Luckily we don't live together so I could leave them to it for a couple of weeks till the "shocking" news sunk in.

Hope you get on ok. Please do come back to let us know how it went. We're rooting for you!


Sabrina
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